Hi Jakob. If you don't mind I am going to be straight up with you right now. I've seen a couple of posts by you and I think it's encouraging you've come to this site for what you hope to be good advice. The reason you might come here is hopefully because you believe it's inhabited by people that are a part of the Body of Christ; those people that have salvation by our God's Grace - His Mercy - by the sacrifice of His Own Son Jesus Christ. That being said, I would like to reiterate the fact that our salvation is not achieved by us. It's nothing we have worked for and it is by no fault or action of our own, so none of us here have much to boast about in the scheme of things.
What happened to me when I asked Christ into my life was that I understood (maybe for the first time) just what my responsibilities were and the price I was compelled to pay. I was given the unbelievable gift of a life where I knew very little hunger, a life where I had shelter over my head almost all my life and a place to call home. I have been given sooo much! Nothing compares to my salvation through Christ, but I'm not abandoned, i'm not poor. I have a job. And for those who are given much, more is given! But the responsibility is that more is also EXPECTED.
You started college on Monday and I just wasn't that smart with school. You've already been to college three more days than I went. This gift you've been given - this opportunity - comes with a price. You called in sick when you weren't sick, meaning you're healthy. This is a gift, an opportunity that also comes with a price. You are able to collectively form a retrospective of your own life when you diagnosed your life as a paradox. This self analysis which brings you closer to God is also a gift with a price.
I realized, once saved through Christ's blood, that the price I was not paying in life was my own ...courage. It was a moral strength - almost a muscle that had not been flexed - to venture, withstand and persevere through my own fears, my own insecurities, my own negative mindset and overcome a former self that, quite frankly, was acting like a loser. I think this courage was somewhere within me but it took deliverance to awaken me.
This is what Christ offered me. A new self that put away its childish things to begin a new life. A gift our Loving God of Israel offers all mankind. So why would I give you a bible verse when I can witness this good news and you can see for yourself.
This is a choice for you Jakob and no one can walk this walk with you. I just hope and will pray you choose wisely.
