I wake up from the middle of night now.I just think of a horrible news I read in the evening.There's an eleven year old girl in my hometown cruelly murdered by her classmates a few days ago.What makes it special is I have prayed for the girl when the news came out that she was lost.A few hours ago I saw the news how she was murdered.it was pure evil and horrible to read.And the murderers are too young to be punished.It is horrible to think that even 10 year old,another 13 would kill in a most evil way and rape.How perverted,how sick the world is.The parents are too busy making money and no good values are taught to the young.They grow up in a world of pervertion,more evil and crazy than the world of my childhood.The young are exposed to a world of adultery stuff,violence and satanic values.The world has become really unlovable in my eyes since I came to Jesus.I have never been so sensitive to evil and abusive things around before.I want to seek God.I want to be fully convinced that He is real.I am a believer but I always have doubts.Although I have doubts,I want to find Him with all my heart.One of my best friends said that God is a choice of the weak,she doesn't believe a God,she is God of herself.No no,I understand I am not strong and no matter what,I need Him,He is my God.