Seek Advice About Not yet Annuled Woman yet with 3 kids to a Single Man

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jer2911

Guest
#1
Please excuse to my non-Filipino bros and sis here. Need to write in Filipino language for better communication.

Here's the story...
Her status is married. Been physically separated to her husband but not legally for 20years now na meron na ding pamilya after they got married. :While on that state, she met a single guy. Eventually, they got 2 children and they become a Christian. But her and the single man was challenged before they got baptized not to have a steady relationship since she's not legally separated to her husband. But annulment is costly and the woman didn't have money to get legal counsel. Kaya yung status niya ay married p rin kahit may kanya-kanya na silang pamilya. As a Christian, ang opinion ko, kung nagmamahalan sila since nadagdagan pa ng isa ang anak, the third child nila where the church gave discipline to them bcoz they committed again an adultery when they are already Christian when they have the baby. My concern are as follows:
1. The woman has no faith enough and less commitment to work-out her annulment. Always saying lack of this or that. I remember the Parable where Jesus said, "Do you really wanna get well? Sana she stops making excuses. How can the church help her to domestic problem. Are we intruding? But what about church discipline? We just can't compromise.

2. About their relationships. In my opinion, the single man's only attachment to her is just the father to her children. If he needs to see or spend time with the kids, she should not be included, yet lagi siya kasama. Pag tinatanong naman kung mahal niya yung single man until now, magkaibigan na lang daw pero she's not opened to the idea of the guy still has needs to settle down with other girls. Bakit inuubliga niya na magsama ang anak nilang lalaki sa boarding house kasama ang single man na tatay?

3. I'm concerned with the possibility for them falling into temptation at magbunga ulit for the 4th time. What to do now as a sister in the Lord to her and as part of one body- the church with Godly standard about adultery?
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
113
#2
I just saw this. Ang hirap ano. Some things are just so complicated for us. i wish i had answers, but honestly have mor questions than answers.
 
J

jer2911

Guest
#3
I just saw this. Ang hirap ano. Some things are just so complicated for us. i wish i had answers, but honestly have mor questions than answers.
That's true. Sa ngayon, i have talked to the leaders of the church since it's been 7 years na yung situation. The kids are in college, in campus ministry. If I'm in the situation, so hard to continue ministering in a complicated situation. To update you, the leaders set a sched for this concern. Meanwhile, i have also to guard my heart for the possibility of pride in me. The motivation of the heart. May i be able to capture Jesus humility. Thanks for your reply. Your honesty counts. God bless :)
 
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matureguy777

Guest
#4
Marriage is not a license issued by a human authority ... Marriage is a union between Man and Woman.

The "Church" you have mentioned in the story should be ashamed of themselves ... the first marriage has been over by mutual consent for 20 years you say.

It appears the woman and the new man in her life are a viable family unit ... they are "wedded" in the true Godly sense of the Word.

Is the first husband contesting the dissolution of the marriage?

If no then the second union is viable and Godly ... "whom God has joined let no man put asunder".

Tell the lady and Gent to find a fellowhip that will love them and not put heavy burdens of legality too heavy for them to bear.

If the "Church" was sincere in helping this couple progress in the walk with God then they would have helped pay for an annulment!

The yoke of Jesus is easy and His burden is light .... only man can complicate that which is so simple.

God Bless
 
E

erikanutella

Guest
#5
Please excuse to my non-Filipino bros and sis here. Need to write in Filipino language for better communication.

Here's the story...
Her status is married. Been physically separated to her husband but not legally for 20years now na meron na ding pamilya after they got married. :While on that state, she met a single guy. Eventually, they got 2 children and they become a Christian. But her and the single man was challenged before they got baptized not to have a steady relationship since she's not legally separated to her husband. But annulment is costly and the woman didn't have money to get legal counsel. Kaya yung status niya ay married p rin kahit may kanya-kanya na silang pamilya. As a Christian, ang opinion ko, kung nagmamahalan sila since nadagdagan pa ng isa ang anak, the third child nila where the church gave discipline to them bcoz they committed again an adultery when they are already Christian when they have the baby. My concern are as follows:
1. The woman has no faith enough and less commitment to work-out her annulment. Always saying lack of this or that. I remember the Parable where Jesus said, "Do you really wanna get well? Sana she stops making excuses. How can the church help her to domestic problem. Are we intruding? But what about church discipline? We just can't compromise.

2. About their relationships. In my opinion, the single man's only attachment to her is just the father to her children. If he needs to see or spend time with the kids, she should not be included, yet lagi siya kasama. Pag tinatanong naman kung mahal niya yung single man until now, magkaibigan na lang daw pero she's not opened to the idea of the guy still has needs to settle down with other girls. Bakit inuubliga niya na magsama ang anak nilang lalaki sa boarding house kasama ang single man na tatay?

3. I'm concerned with the possibility for them falling into temptation at magbunga ulit for the 4th time. What to do now as a sister in the Lord to her and as part of one body- the church with Godly standard about adultery?
My Dear Sister . I see your concerns .. may I ask what is your relations to them? are they your co church members? Are they Elders of the church or workers?.

Is the Mistress Asking for Advices to you ? Or You just cant take to see them coz i think You have everyday encounter to them.

-- These are my concerns po so i can properly give my advices to you --

My 2 Uri ksi ng Christian Faith
1. Carnal Christian - These are kind of christians who still live in the standards of this world such as adultery, slandering, rage, hatred, sexual immorality, debauchery, idolatry, witchcrafts then you are still in the flesh.

"For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want."-Galatians 5:17

2. Genuine Christian - These are the christians who have established their faith in the highest level they are not having the flesh desire and they are more on spiritual. They seek the Lord with all their heart and They don't tolerate the things in the world.

But We are not here to Judge each in everyone of us or to tell to others you are like this and that but to understand so we dont be blamed for stumbling of the others.

To Answer your Question is it RIGHT for them to be together even they are not yet separated to each partners
the answer is NEVER RIGHT .Marriage is Sacred to God and We don't tolerate any kinds of adulterous act as Christ Believers.

If you think you can't tell them like this better go to your Head Pastor and discuss this matter if your intentions is Good and for their spiritual and not others discovers their forbidden relationships then better discuss that issues with your Head Pastors and Elders let them talk to that couple.



"If anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it."- Titus 1:6-9 ESV

because We must be careful in correcting or rebuking fellow christians because we don't know if they will understand that or not they might stop serving God or believing their Faith.

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." -Matthew 18:15-17


Hope this helps you Sister . May the Lord give you the Wisdom in every situations you are having.
God Bless You :)