Standards

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R

Relena7

Guest
#21
Everybody has faults. There is no perfect person for anybody because something about them is going to drive you to madness.

People need to learn to love unconditionally. This can only be done by the grace of God.

This whole thing about I want this or that or I can't tolerate this or that is really annoying. Either learn to love another person unconditionally if you want to get married or forsake it altogether.
This sounds similar to what the cynical bullies that live inside my head and lie to me all the time would say.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
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#22
Everybody has faults. There is no perfect person for anybody because something about them is going to drive you to madness.

People need to learn to love unconditionally. This can only be done by the grace of God.

This whole thing about I want this or that or I can't tolerate this or that is really annoying. Either learn to love another person unconditionally if you want to get married or forsake it altogether.
Basically, you're saying that any person can get married to any other person. I don't really think that's true. Well, technically any two people could get married, but whether or not they are happy in that marriage would be a whole other issue.

Preferences are not bad. I think it matters how much emphasis you put on certain preferences. I prefer for my future husband to like alternative/rock music, but if he likes country music more (bleh) then I'm not going to write him off just for that. If I wrote him off for it, I think that would be pretty unfair and quite silly. Other prefences, though (whether or not they want children, what they enjoy doing, etc.) will matter if I'm going to be with him, all the time, for the rest of my life.

GeorgeGordon, that being said, I ultimately agree with you. I don't believe in soul mates, and there are no perfect men, or women, in the world. Waiting for one would be futile, and even if I did find "the man of my dreams" (that term just sounds too icky and sugary sweet for me, but that's almost the point), he'd still be a fallen human with issues, annoyances, and sin.
 

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#24
I have preferences. They used to be very, very detailed. Down to the color of his eyes. However, when people make overly detailed lists, it's because they don't want a relationship and they're protecting themselves. I'll share my list with y'all.


> He must love God more than he loves me.

> He has to go to church with me.

> He must love me for better or worse. If we have problems, we seek help.

> He has to at least sort of like kids. My friends (our friends) will have children, and I would like to have get togethers, bbqs, etc. So he needs to be able to at least not want to kill them.

> He has to be okay with me working in some capacity.

> He has to kill any bug I ask him to. Inside, outside, whatever. I'm serious.

> He has to take out the trash at least 70% of the time.



I don't think those preferences are out of line. Honestly, I have more, I'm sure. But this will work for the time being.
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#26
> He has to kill any bug I ask him to. Inside, outside, whatever. I'm serious.
Thank god spiders are scientifically insects..but if you consider them to be bugs I have the perfect solution

there-was-a-spider-i-panicked-240x180.jpg
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#27
Spiders are not insects.
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#28
Spiders are not insects.
That was written after I got off work at 3am...i meant NOT insects but clearly my brain decided to mess with my english skills...
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#29
On topic-

Spiders don't live up to insect standards.

Um...or is it, insects don't live up to spider standards?

Whatever. Kill 'em all.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
33
#30
On topic-

Spiders don't live up to insect standards.

Um...or is it, insects don't live up to spider standards?

Whatever. Kill 'em all.
I have a spider inside my window sill that I have let stay there because I close that window at night anyway so she can't get in, plus she eats the bugs. Her name is Bertha.

My only standard for her is if she stays in the window sill, we can be friends. If she comes out...not so much.
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#31
I have a spider inside my window sill that I have let stay there because I close that window at night anyway so she can't get in, plus she eats the bugs. Her name is Bertha.

My only standard for her is if she stays in the window sill, we can be friends. If she comes out...not so much.
That's pretty stinkin' adorable rachel. lol
 
D

didymos

Guest
#32
I think that part of the reason no one is able to find an appropriate boyfriend/girlfriend has to do with judgement.
If you believe that there are no good christian men left, you are right, but there never were any good christian men to begin with... this is because the word "good" is a description of an attribute of God, who is perfect. So there are no good men becomes there are no perfect men...
I can't believe that people would be so concerned with "soul mates" the perfect boy or girlfriend or something like that.. these are ideas that are false, don't exist and ultimately lead to disappointment.
Relationships that are perfect don't exist, people who are perfect don't exist (except one in Christ)
The problem with finding no suitable men or women is not the problem of legions of men or women, it is your problem.
What do you think?

I think your logic is faulty. ;)
God being 'good' has to do with a moral standard, and that is exactly what Matthew 19, Mark 10 and Luke 18 talk about: the moral standard we learn from God.
When people think of the perfect woman/man it's first and foremost someone who is perfect FOR THEM. It all has to with the connection, like two pieces of a puzzle that fit, although they are each higly irregular in shape. A boyfriend/girlfriend ONLY becomes a soulmate IN the relationship itself, through that connection. Loving partners ideally will grow towards eachother and change, it's not like you buy a soulmate 'from the shelf,' like a finished product. So yeah, people shouldn't expect that perfect guy/girl to come along. That shouldn't keep them from taking a chance on love though.
 
P

Powemm

Guest
#33
Ezekiel 23:24
They will come against you with weapons, chariots and wagons and with a throng of people; they will take up positions against you on every side with large and small shields and with helmets. I will turn you over to them for punishment, and they will punish you according to their standards.
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#34
...What do you think?
Well, allow me to respectfully disagree because you are equating God's perfect character with the human defective character. Yet, by the grace of God, godly, responsible, loyal folks DO exist, in spite of their human imperfections.

There isn't anything "false" about a man of virtue with masculine valor whom God has raised according to God's meekness and wisdom. Similarly, there isn't anything "false" with the docile, chaste, obedient maidservants I have been blessed to befriend over the years. Yes, there may be several King Davids out there, which I avoid, but there are also some dear Samuels and valiant Joshuas. ...and what exactly was wrong with Samuel, the prophet? :D

You may wish to reconsider that it is the Holy Spirit of God which makes the only difference in a person's life: you either abide in obedience to the Spirit of God or "you aint," LOL, and there is nothing faulty about striving to exist for Christ. Those are the folks with the real goods! :D
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#35
1301771363996738898405.jpeg
When the Holy God-head is at the center of the relationship between a man and a woman, then all the pieces to life's puzzles fit peachy and orderly! :D
 
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F

FireWire

Guest
#36
Basically, you're saying that any person can get married to any other person. I don't really think that's true. Well, technically any two people could get married, but whether or not they are happy in that marriage would be a whole other issue.

Preferences are not bad. I think it matters how much emphasis you put on certain preferences. I prefer for my future husband to like alternative/rock music, but if he likes country music more (bleh) then I'm not going to write him off just for that. If I wrote him off for it, I think that would be pretty unfair and quite silly. Other prefences, though (whether or not they want children, what they enjoy doing, etc.) will matter if I'm going to be with him, all the time, for the rest of my life.

GeorgeGordon, that being said, I ultimately agree with you. I don't believe in soul mates, and there are no perfect men, or women, in the world. Waiting for one would be futile, and even if I did find "the man of my dreams" (that term just sounds too icky and sugary sweet for me, but that's almost the point), he'd still be a fallen human with issues, annoyances, and sin.
No, it is not what I'm saying.

This whole thing of wanting certain physical attributes and commonalities has nothing to do with love. You'll never learn to love unconditionally based on things like that.
 
F

FireWire

Guest
#37
This sounds similar to what the cynical bullies that live inside my head and lie to me all the time would say.
So you're saying I'm a bully and liar?
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#38
*Hears echos of Ugly's reply* "There's is no such thing as soulmates, it's a pagan belief". Beat you to it, Ugly! HA! :p
I was going to say, they're is no such thing as soul mates. I must be channeling Ugly. :)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#39
*Hears echos of Ugly's reply* "There's is no such thing as soulmates, it's a pagan belief". Beat you to it, Ugly! HA! :p
Read it in the original post. And didn't say anything about it. I grew tired of 'Christians' making fun of me, or insulting me, for pointing out their belief in pagan teaching. Good to see people still doing it, even when i've stopped. Or asked them to stop, in some cases.