A question as an adult... PMs refused?

[secularhermit]

I have visited some profiles here and, each time I went to chat room, I noticed many women have several types of "warnings" saying things to discourage men or women to not send PMs.

I´ve got some ideas and I don´t invade private privacy: I respect that! But I wondered if men also had the same "warnings" (I will not check) but I guess there are some "female" creepers or wirdoes. So I would like to know what´s going on there.

I have years knowing latinamerican culture (I was born here) and I know how latin american women like "to befriend" or "to take money" or ease an adventure...

I wish any person, no matter his/her genger, tell me what is going on in that culture. I know some people from many places tried to get info as scammers, but I don´t believe real or commited christians use the privacy of these PMs to hurt and, of course, CC has plenty access to what we are doing here, so my concern is not "privacy" but what is deeply discouraging friends or christians to interact, outside the chatting line (from which I lack experience, because that is not my culture).

If any leave but one simple line, I´d apreciate (I will know it, anyhow).

Thanks in advance!

P.S. PMs are REFUSED, by the way. He! He!

 

[Hellooo]

Hi secular

A lot of people have those warnings to avoid harassment, or they prefer to talk to people in the public areas of the website.

I understand what you mean with Latin American culture (my parents aren't from the u.s.), it tends to be a lot more open, connected, and social, but don't let the warning messages discourage you from continuing to share.

God bless brother!

 

[lil_christian]

For us women, most of our PM's consist of "Hi, how r u? Wat is ur skype? yahoo messenger? facebook? I add u" or "Number please"

I've even had PM's consisting of "Can I say to u that I love u?" and I'd never even seen that person in chat, and I'd never talked with them.

It's just better to avoid most private messages for me.

Plus, I'm a minor. I don't need people in their 30's and 40's private messaging me all the time.

 

[NewEagle]

SecularHermit - Welcome to CC!

The reason many of us ladies have ''please do not private message me'' on their private message window is because we have been PM'd by men who want to chat with us for ungodly reasons. OR having known us for only a few minutes ask us to marry them!!!

Plus as a married lady, I am not comfortable chatting with men who are strangers in a private message. In the lounge, it is an open forum, and I feel safe doing that.

Many of the fellows who PM us ladies that have ungodly intentions (or ''marry me'' intentions) are from third world countries. Some of them will not honor a request to stop PM-ing which shows a real lack of kindness and courtesy.

I do not judge if they are Christian or non-Christian.

Plus in many conservative American churches it is just considered inappropriate for a man to approach a women he does not know and ask her to marry him!!! Perhaps this is accepted in Ghana or Nigeria, but not in America.

And one more point - I am uncomfortable talking to a man that I do not know on a private message. If he is a born again Christian, then he should understand and use the kindness and wisdom God gave him and honor my request.

I hope that explains why many women are not keen on PM-ing with men.

God Bless,
NewEagle

 

[Ugly]

My understanding of it, from the women i've talked to on CC, is that, basically there are a lot of perverts on the site looking to get women off of CC and onto another chat site (skype, etc) so they can try to coax them into sexual talk.
Some are men looking for women to marry, and most likely, get out of their own country and use the women to get into America. Or just seem generally desperate.

There was a post in the singles forum recently where a man from Africa came on and pretty much was looking for someone to just jump into marriage with him. He was brand new to the site and no one knew who he was. When none of the women responded, and was explained to him this wasn't a dating site, he became upset and called us all racists. All because none of the women wanted to marry him. There are all kinds of nuts on this site.

Some women even look for ways into America. I have had a few women from a specific country in particular (which i won't name) try to get friendly with me, and once they realize i don't have the money to get them in the country they never talk to me again. There are a lot of dishonest, selfish people on this site looking to use others, or scam people.

 

[allaboutlove]

I understand wanting to ovoid the perverts but what if we had somethiny godly to say to one of these people i know sometimes when i feel led to say something i prefer to do it in a pm so i know theyll see it would these people be ok with reciving a pm in that sitiuation?.

 

[shawntc]

I understand wanting to ovoid the perverts but what if we had somethiny godly to say to one of these people i know sometimes when i feel led to say something i prefer to do it in a pm so i know theyll see it would these people be ok with reciving a pm in that sitiuation?.

I would imagine you should ask them first in chat, and tell them your intentions. If they say yes, then bypass the "hi" "hello" stuff and just say what you wanted to say.

 

[secularhermit]

@Hello Thanks for your challanging words! In fact I don´t feel discouraged, but I saved distance. For me that look like "Beware of the dog" sign, and I know all dogs like some touching, some attention... Love!

I´m puzzled to know some truth I cannot guess, since I never saw such amount of warnings. But I will learn from all I can be adviced.

Thanks again!

 

[secularhermit]

@ lil christian "I've even had PM's consisting of "Can I say to u that I love u?" and I'd never even seen that person in chat, and I'd never talked with them."

I guess U hit the nail... But I know girls/women are smarter than you think of.

 

[secularhermit]

@NewEagle Thanks!
I really understood the issue with your wisdom.

 

[secularhermit]

@Ugly

That´s sad... (I will not use more adj.). Thank you brother for that honest and complete answer.

.

 

[secularhermit]

@allaboutlove

Let´s say it "godly" but, as you have seen on the OT, my prophets were killed by saying something "not nice" or "liked", so I see it risky or ignorable.

I see many people here concerned in IDEAS, on the SPIRITUAL side of humans rather than impersonating profiles and, in the other hand, some take their cjance to make progress to their business.

Perhaps I´m not only the odd part here, but I liked some people´s ideas and, if someone I have the hunch to acknowledge the intention.

Thanks for all of you! I see, technically, the ability to receiving PMs can be omited, so I asumed some need them to go on and, the public chatting is not a warranty or bulletproof jacked for none.

 

[secularhermit]

Asking for permission?...

It seems to be polite and it´s thought to show Christian kindness and, the truth (mine) I have seen it like hypocrisy and there are people approaching by PMs or by visitors messages and, if a person in embarrased or messy on receiving any of these, the easy way is disconnecting those options he / seh feels embarrased or in danger. These posts and member are seen in public eyes all over the world and, such "privacy" it is not, except for those who do not have those rights on any site.

It is proven that once any had shown "fellowshipping" intentions, the things went another site and, if I cannot tell a think publicly, the "private" PM could be another way ungodly, except I would give a warn to spare another person some dissatissfaction, risk or emotional pain.

I´ve fond childish "Don´t write to me unless" (bla, bla, bla) and that´s way I have largely used my signature to "discourage" those I don´t want to creep around.

PS

Now I´m aware they would come to me if they´re plaesed.

What an irony I have read!

 

[Richie_2uk]

well I have had written things of the same lines, now I just got pm me, but dont ask for personal questions, Why you need them just to have chat, I dont like to ignore people, but I used to have the same messages as the women on here, myself, But again im not ignorant, so I put a different pm message. its down to respect, if ppl don't want to be pmed, then best thing is not to, not everyone are wanting to chat to me, even guys talking to women,

 

[secularhermit]

well I have had written things of the same lines, now I just got pm me, but dont ask for personal questions, Why you need them just to have chat, I dont like to ignore people, but I used to have the same messages as the women on here, myself, But again im not ignorant, so I put a different pm message. its down to respect, if ppl don't want to be pmed, then best thing is not to, not everyone are wanting to chat to me, even guys talking to women,

Hmm! Sorry if my line of thinking evoked yours.

As far as I remember those I have read were useful and suportive, particularly in tech areas.

As you also have seen here "ignoring" people is tecnically posssible for the enhanced tabs CC has for that purpose of "ignoring" those you don´t want approached.

Regarding personal questions... That´s a tabu where i decided to be far from, latins people seem to be more sincere or open to know who is who, though I have learned a lot from "saxons".

As you also see, I haven´t ignored your posting, though I got confused (or you thought I picked your wordings?). One thing I know, i haven´t read what men´s profiles might have said, in that case, I purposely ignored that gender and their profiles because I wanted to know a culture I haven´t lived in too long.

 

[secularhermit]

I´m not sure what you meant, sir! (I´m somewhat dull)

However I paid attention to what i could understand and I´m sure there is not a record I have visit your profile recently.

It doesn´t matter I´m confused, such is my life.

 

[secularhermit]

Hi secular

A lot of people have those warnings to avoid harassment, or they prefer to talk to people in the public areas of the website.

I understand what you mean with Latin American culture (my parents aren't from the u.s.), it tends to be a lot more open, connected, and social, but don't let the warning messages discourage you from continuing to share.

God bless brother!

Thank you HELLOO!

Is it from their fears or their social ostracism?

I will know it someday and for sure.


Ooooh!

i think I deserved an absolute banishment.

 

[djness]

I opened a guys pm box once and it said:
''May God strike you down if you type anything less Holy in this pm box.''
How do you take that?

 

[secularhermit]

Ha! Ha!

There are many (many) who are seeking GOD.

He was really funny!

 

[blue_ladybug]

I opened a guys pm box once and it said:
''May God strike you down if you type anything less Holy in this pm box.''
How do you take that?

that is when you type only one word in their PM box: holy. ​Then you're assured of not getting struck down!!