-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
A
Spiritual abuse can be easily determined if your pastor or teacher is using it excessively.
Example on the tithings. We need to give tithings according to the law of Moses which is 10%. (Malachi 3:10)
Some pastors are glad if their members offered more than 10%. And they say that it is very good but it is a wrong teaching.
Why is it wrong to give more than 10%?
Biblical Evidence:
1. It is true that we need to give 10% as our offering (Malachi 3:10)
2. Above and below 10% is wrong.
(Deut. 12:32 - " What thing soever I command you, observe to do it; thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it.)
Example on the tithings. We need to give tithings according to the law of Moses which is 10%. (Malachi 3:10)
Some pastors are glad if their members offered more than 10%. And they say that it is very good but it is a wrong teaching.
Why is it wrong to give more than 10%?
Biblical Evidence:
1. It is true that we need to give 10% as our offering (Malachi 3:10)
2. Above and below 10% is wrong.
(Deut. 12:32 - " What thing soever I command you, observe to do it; thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it.)
R
[h=3]2
Corinthians 9:7[/h]Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under
compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
Its not about giving more, just to make the pastor happy. As it says in 2 Cor 9:7 God loves a cheerful giver, give what you yourself is right, but from the heart be a good giver. If this thread is about tything.
Corinthians 9:7[/h]Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under
compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
Its not about giving more, just to make the pastor happy. As it says in 2 Cor 9:7 God loves a cheerful giver, give what you yourself is right, but from the heart be a good giver. If this thread is about tything.
D
Here is a good article on spiritual abuse that might help you.
The Watchman Expositor: Spiritual Abuse Profile
I have seen some glaring examples of this. I would say the hallmarks of spiritual abuse is a religious leader who is above being questioned and exerts some form of manipulation or control, often by twisting or exaggerating scripture or doctrine. I believe there is also a demonic component to many cases of this.
Rev. Jim Jones would have sex with any woman he wanted. He used physical violence to disciple others, twisted doctrines that did not exists. The members in his compound were essentially prisoners. WHen his empire started to unravel he forced almost 1000 people, men, women and children to drink cyanide laced kool aid.
Fellowship of the martyrs was and maybe still is a cult which had the best of intentions run by a man named Doug Perry. Doug claimed to be one of the two witnesses listed in Revelation but he would only mention this to his ardent followers. Marriages in this cult were often broken and a new marriage partner assigned by "god". This group often went to other churches and would hold up signs accusing them of being complacent. Doug claimed God had given him a "destruct button" which he then used on members who tried to leave. Then he would tell others about how much destruction went on in their life as they remained in rebellion to him. Sexual sin, including homosexuality went on there. He took women many women as his "spiritual wife" and claimed it was biblical. This cult was showcased on the Dr. Phil Show and on the Oprah show.
I knew a lady who needed help. She had been traumatized and was seeking shelter. The pastor took her in and raped her many times. She even got pregnant and bore his son.
A pastor took over an existing thriving church. It was the largest in my community with a membership of about 2000 active members. It was a powerhouse for God. God told me to leave that church 3 months before this new pastor took over. As this new pastor took over he told the elders he was going to do things his way and would not submit to them. His sermons were lifeless and rambling. If you wanted to talk to the pastor you had to make an appointment thru his personal secretary, a man who seemed very effeminate. This pastor canceled a thriving mens ministry that was run by volunteers. He fired the church counselor. He gutted almost every program or ministry in that church. Members began leaving and donations fell and now has filled for bankrupcy.
In the cases of Doug Perry and the incompetent pastor, I know there was a significant demonic activity going on. In Doug Perry's case the voice he heard as God was demon. there was a spiritual network made of soul ties which connected the cult together so that the members would hear Doug's "god" (demon). Husbands and wives would be told by this god they had to get a divorce and remarry so n' so and most complied. I only mention this to show how serious spiritual abuse can be and that it is more than just a power hungry dictator behind it. Doug Perry thinks he is doing God's will and needs to repent for all the damage he has helped to cause by listening to a false god.
Dr. Phil.com - Shows - "Are My Children in a Cult?"
The Watchman Expositor: Spiritual Abuse Profile
I have seen some glaring examples of this. I would say the hallmarks of spiritual abuse is a religious leader who is above being questioned and exerts some form of manipulation or control, often by twisting or exaggerating scripture or doctrine. I believe there is also a demonic component to many cases of this.
Rev. Jim Jones would have sex with any woman he wanted. He used physical violence to disciple others, twisted doctrines that did not exists. The members in his compound were essentially prisoners. WHen his empire started to unravel he forced almost 1000 people, men, women and children to drink cyanide laced kool aid.
Fellowship of the martyrs was and maybe still is a cult which had the best of intentions run by a man named Doug Perry. Doug claimed to be one of the two witnesses listed in Revelation but he would only mention this to his ardent followers. Marriages in this cult were often broken and a new marriage partner assigned by "god". This group often went to other churches and would hold up signs accusing them of being complacent. Doug claimed God had given him a "destruct button" which he then used on members who tried to leave. Then he would tell others about how much destruction went on in their life as they remained in rebellion to him. Sexual sin, including homosexuality went on there. He took women many women as his "spiritual wife" and claimed it was biblical. This cult was showcased on the Dr. Phil Show and on the Oprah show.
I knew a lady who needed help. She had been traumatized and was seeking shelter. The pastor took her in and raped her many times. She even got pregnant and bore his son.
A pastor took over an existing thriving church. It was the largest in my community with a membership of about 2000 active members. It was a powerhouse for God. God told me to leave that church 3 months before this new pastor took over. As this new pastor took over he told the elders he was going to do things his way and would not submit to them. His sermons were lifeless and rambling. If you wanted to talk to the pastor you had to make an appointment thru his personal secretary, a man who seemed very effeminate. This pastor canceled a thriving mens ministry that was run by volunteers. He fired the church counselor. He gutted almost every program or ministry in that church. Members began leaving and donations fell and now has filled for bankrupcy.
In the cases of Doug Perry and the incompetent pastor, I know there was a significant demonic activity going on. In Doug Perry's case the voice he heard as God was demon. there was a spiritual network made of soul ties which connected the cult together so that the members would hear Doug's "god" (demon). Husbands and wives would be told by this god they had to get a divorce and remarry so n' so and most complied. I only mention this to show how serious spiritual abuse can be and that it is more than just a power hungry dictator behind it. Doug Perry thinks he is doing God's will and needs to repent for all the damage he has helped to cause by listening to a false god.
Dr. Phil.com - Shows - "Are My Children in a Cult?"
Here is a copy and paste from an article on domestic abuse. It seems to me I have seen the same kind of abuse of our God here on cc.
“Though verbal abuse doesn't leave outward scars, it is calculated to assassinate the character and kill the inner person with cruelty; belittling; put-downs; shaming; name calling; intimidation; raging; silence; criticizing; blaming; twisting the truth and rewriting history; and strategic “forgetting.” .”
I have seen these abuses of God in cc posts. Belittling God saying God wasn’t using His power for good; put-downs saying God wasn’t doing enough for them, criticizing, blaming God for something, or silence by telling about withholding our prayers, twisting truth when God’s truth seems hard totake, rewriting history, and over and over I see strategic forgetting when someone brings up one thing our Lord says is “only”, so we must forget everything else God says.
“Though verbal abuse doesn't leave outward scars, it is calculated to assassinate the character and kill the inner person with cruelty; belittling; put-downs; shaming; name calling; intimidation; raging; silence; criticizing; blaming; twisting the truth and rewriting history; and strategic “forgetting.” .”
I have seen these abuses of God in cc posts. Belittling God saying God wasn’t using His power for good; put-downs saying God wasn’t doing enough for them, criticizing, blaming God for something, or silence by telling about withholding our prayers, twisting truth when God’s truth seems hard totake, rewriting history, and over and over I see strategic forgetting when someone brings up one thing our Lord says is “only”, so we must forget everything else God says.
A
??? never heard of the term before but with a little research I found this link.
Spiritual Abuse: 10 Ways to Spot it | Mary DeMuth
I would have called it mental and emotional abuse before labeling it spiritual abuse because the idea that anyone can wound your spirit is a foreign concept for me.
an interesting topic.
perhaps we could also talk about how to mentor and help those who have undergone such abuse heal?
Spiritual Abuse: 10 Ways to Spot it | Mary DeMuth
I would have called it mental and emotional abuse before labeling it spiritual abuse because the idea that anyone can wound your spirit is a foreign concept for me.
an interesting topic.
perhaps we could also talk about how to mentor and help those who have undergone such abuse heal?
A
Here are some more articles that look worth reading.
I've only skimmed them but will probably read them in more detail when I have more time:
Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse, Part I: Spiritual Life in God
Spiritual Abuse: With a Secondary Focus on the United Pentecostal Church
definition of spiritual abuse from one of the articles " spiritual abuse affects one spiritually. It is the result of a spiritual leader or system that tries to control, manipulate, or dominate a person. This control is often in the form of fear. This is considered a major factor in mind control or thought reform'
this one says it has Spiritual abuse recovery resources:
http://www.spiritualabuse.com/
It has a lot of articles.
Hope that is helpful.
I've only skimmed them but will probably read them in more detail when I have more time:
Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse, Part I: Spiritual Life in God
Spiritual Abuse: With a Secondary Focus on the United Pentecostal Church
definition of spiritual abuse from one of the articles " spiritual abuse affects one spiritually. It is the result of a spiritual leader or system that tries to control, manipulate, or dominate a person. This control is often in the form of fear. This is considered a major factor in mind control or thought reform'
this one says it has Spiritual abuse recovery resources:
http://www.spiritualabuse.com/
It has a lot of articles.
Hope that is helpful.
Ariel, I know a man who got sucked into the Oneness Pentecostals. Besides the mess it made of his doctrine, it really screwed up his children.
I am also good friends with his oldest daughter, and have done a lot of counseling with her. She has told me of terrible abuses done in the name of this church. She was not allowed to read any books that were not school books or the Bible. She was not allowed to listen to any music unless it was a hymn. When they went to camp, the boys were totally separated from the girls, esp. at the swimming pool. She has horrible memories of swimming with heavy black plastic all around the pool. I guess they men thought the young boys might be tempted by the girls, but one has to wonder if it was the men in control who were really the tempted ones!
I attended the wedding of her younger sister a few weeks ago, the father did not want to dance with the bride, his daughter because he figured dancing was bad. We convinced him to dance with the bride. Then because I am a pastor, and another couple who brought this man, the husband was also studying for ministry, and I danced with my husband and the other couple danced (really good ballroom, I might add!), we encouraged him to dance with his daughters and granddaughters. He was very uncertain, but started having a fun time, and the next thing you know, he was dancing with the bridesmaids and really enjoying himself, realizing he was not hurting anyone.
The daughter I am friends with and I were outside talking and she started to cry. She told me that I gave her father back to her that night - that he became a real person, not just someone who wouldn't let her do anything in the name of God. That is ungodly fear of God, because of the control of men is true spiritual abuse.
I pray that anyone who is experiencing this kind of rigid control will leave that kind of church. God gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us in the Word.
By the way, the Word of God is clear that dancing (not for the purpose of sexual immorality!) is a gift from God.
"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness," Psalm 30:11
When we have Jesus as our Saviour, we can truly dance with joy, and be glad.
As far as the man who danced, he did give a lovely testimony of God's love and God's expectation for love in marriage later that evening. Ironically, it really saved the evening, as many had wandered off in the heat, but came back to hear the message of God's love, which this man really preached. I have prayed for him for many years to be free of the evils of Oneness Pentecostals, and I am so glad to see God answering that prayer.
I am also good friends with his oldest daughter, and have done a lot of counseling with her. She has told me of terrible abuses done in the name of this church. She was not allowed to read any books that were not school books or the Bible. She was not allowed to listen to any music unless it was a hymn. When they went to camp, the boys were totally separated from the girls, esp. at the swimming pool. She has horrible memories of swimming with heavy black plastic all around the pool. I guess they men thought the young boys might be tempted by the girls, but one has to wonder if it was the men in control who were really the tempted ones!
I attended the wedding of her younger sister a few weeks ago, the father did not want to dance with the bride, his daughter because he figured dancing was bad. We convinced him to dance with the bride. Then because I am a pastor, and another couple who brought this man, the husband was also studying for ministry, and I danced with my husband and the other couple danced (really good ballroom, I might add!), we encouraged him to dance with his daughters and granddaughters. He was very uncertain, but started having a fun time, and the next thing you know, he was dancing with the bridesmaids and really enjoying himself, realizing he was not hurting anyone.
The daughter I am friends with and I were outside talking and she started to cry. She told me that I gave her father back to her that night - that he became a real person, not just someone who wouldn't let her do anything in the name of God. That is ungodly fear of God, because of the control of men is true spiritual abuse.
I pray that anyone who is experiencing this kind of rigid control will leave that kind of church. God gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us in the Word.
By the way, the Word of God is clear that dancing (not for the purpose of sexual immorality!) is a gift from God.
"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness," Psalm 30:11
When we have Jesus as our Saviour, we can truly dance with joy, and be glad.
As far as the man who danced, he did give a lovely testimony of God's love and God's expectation for love in marriage later that evening. Ironically, it really saved the evening, as many had wandered off in the heat, but came back to hear the message of God's love, which this man really preached. I have prayed for him for many years to be free of the evils of Oneness Pentecostals, and I am so glad to see God answering that prayer.