Hey sonofjay,
That's a really good question you've asked. Believe it or not, almost all of the guys I've met have had the same problem, so you're not alone (if you're struggling with that addiction). For as many guys I know that are slaves to their flesh (and it's a lot), there are just as many that wrestle with their lust and hungers to stay on the straight and narrow.
Now, to start answering your questions. First, pornography and/or masturbation will not change your brain or cause you to be depressed when you stop using it. That's just crazy. You won't go blind, grow hair in crazy place, get acne, or die. People make that crap up just to scare you, and it's a bad idea. Being addiction to porn is scary enough without having all kinds of made up stuff to worry about as well. The only biological change that I, or anyone else have gone through while addicted was to become pretty depressed. It sucks to be addicted, and it sucks even worse to debase and demean yourself on a regular basis. You feel helpless, hopless, and worthless. That gets you pretty down after a while.
The worst part of all of it isn't getting depressed, it's how it messes up your relationship with women. That hunger and lust inside you will lead you to get into bad relationships with shady girls, or screw up awesome relationships with Godly girls. Porn creates/awakens this whole sexual-beast side of you, and you'll find yourself being played like a puppet. You'll look at the things you're doing to and with people, and think "Man, this sucks. This crap is terrible", but you'll keep doing it. You won't really get any satisfaction or happiness from it, but you can't stop.
I only broke out from under that harness by executing a drastic set of maneuvers with the help of the G-man and his son. First off, I gave away my awesome computer to a needy family. It's hard to look at porn with no computer. Subsequently, I moved away out an awesome apartment with a smoking hot roomate (female type), because we were dragging each other straight into the fiery maw of destruction. I then moved into a tool shed behind a freaking mobile home. This was during a South Dakota winter. It really sucked.
God was with me the whole time though, and still is. They say at Alcoholics Anonymous that one of the first things they tell you is no matter what you do, you're still an alcoholic. You've just got to work on not drinking. You'll might slip, but you've just got to pick yourself back up and keep trying every time. That's kind of the way it is with porn. You never get completely back to normal, and you never stop being addicted. You just stop watching the stuff, try to have normal relationships with women, and seek to be close to God.
In the end, I was under the yoke of a mind-twisting hunger and compulsion for probably close to 8 years. Over about five or six years I ruined two relationships with Godly women, and got involved with two shady girls. I struggle daily with staying clean, and always worry about future relationships with women. I'm far better than I ever was before, and have been blessed and carried by God for quite some time. God is good.
Did I answer your question?
