I think being a single Christian and demanding a "strong" Christian early on is a bit naive to be honest. The only STRONG christian men I know (since I am a woman) are all over the age of 50 and have been married a loooong time and have been with Jesus a looong time. I think its good to have 3 basic precursors when entering a relationship. And I mean BASIC.
1. They love Jesus. That has to be 100% certified and genuine. When I was single I made that a requirement, since I had previously fallen for that stupid vague line "I believe in God.." Yeah well, the bible says even demons believe in God, so a honest passionate life and understanding who and what Jesus is is very important. Evidence of this is easy - ask for their testimony. If its vague and blurry and lacks emphasis on sin, conviction, Gods great love through Jesus and revelation of that, they aren't there yet. And don't I mean DON'T think you can convert them further by "missionary" dating. Ladies you know what I mean, you girls do it ALL the time. Stop it!
2. They are in regular Christian community and fellowship. Although Im certainly not putting down people having further involvement in a ministry or stuff like that but if theyre starting out at a new church or only recently have decided to follow Jesus the number priority they just need is to just pursue godly fellowship and have one or two solid christian friends to rely on. Emphasis on pursue. To me if a guy says 'I don't like churches cos theyre full of hypocrites' my first thought is, 'Well what makes you smell so much better than the rest eh?' It reeks of smugness and false humility. Its anything but humble, and that is extremely unattractive to me as a woman. Not going to church because its full of hypocrites is like people refusing to go a gym because its full of unhealthy overweight people. Its like duh. Why would a woman knowingly enter into a relationship/marriage intending to follow the biblical advice of submitting to her husbands leadership when he himself isn't even humble enough to submit to a church and wiser and godlier people?
3. Theyre in the Word, and theyre learning. Emphasis on LEARNING. If a guy is only reading one or two verses a week but is still trying to figure it out or practically applying it to life and being convicted and encouraged, awesome! So what if theyre not reading their bible a million times a day! Its not a competition and everyone is at different paces and strengths when it comes to reading and studying the bible. For example, my brother has only recently become a Christian. And right now hes in that new christian honeymoon phase where he is just on fire for Jesus! The change in his behaviour has been quite remarkable and positive. But as a whole I know hes not a great reader. He never has been, compared to the rest of our family who constantly have our heads in a book. So for him reading a chapter from any book is quite an effort on his part and I respect that and I know that is huge for him when previously he used to throw away any book given to him.
As I said, different strokes for different folks.
Single people, whether your looking for love or happily comfortable where you're at, if you have aspirations for a spouse, first aside from that long list (I know you have a list, every woman has one), also make a list of the things YOU think YOU should improve on so you can grow in being a better potential spouse. It helps the process be more honest and less selfish. Secondly, find a couple you really really respect with a fantastic solid marriage, and ask them what the the other person was like during the dating period. Trust me, they'll say that things were far far away from where they are now.. Husbands do NOT start out as sturdy oaks. And neither do women for that matter.
Im from New Zealand and back home we have a word for respected wise older men - Kauri. Its the same word we used for a type of species of tree. Incidently that same type of tree happens to be the largest and be the most valuable type of wood you can get. You women, its ok to pick an acorn or a sapling, just make sure its growing! And help it to grow! Pick an acorn that will turn into a kauri! Don't pick a weed and expect it to grow into an oak, maple or kauri or redwood and then get upset when it won't, because thats your fault. Leave the weeds alone!
