How does some one suppose to enjoy life with crippeling pain everyday?

[Roughsoul]

To further explain my self I was in bad vehicle accident that God watched over me with some minor burns, cuts, bruises, and a concussion. But later started having severe pain in my lower back that seems to pinch nerves running down the back of one of my legs. I fought with it for three years and kept exercising no matter how much it hurt. I even got into martial arts in which it helped me stay fit and muscles loosened up but still fought the pain everyday. Going on year four and have seen doctors and chiropractors nothing has helped. They either try filling me up with pain meds which I despise taking or give me different opinions. Now because of my job I had to give up martial arts and now find my self hurting more and on top of losing a huge stress reliever. Its hard to make my loved ones understand why I got to fake being happy and I have gotten to where I don't look forward to anything just because I fear of it not working out. I am 23 and watch 50 years old people get around better than me. Its hard to go from being so active to where I got to watch everything I do just so I don't cause more pain.

So do I just forget my old life and embrace all the good things in my life or keep searching for how to fix the pain. I guess I feel that my emotions on my happy side are numb. And just want yalls opinion so maybe I can think about my life in a different way.

 

[blue_ladybug]

To further explain my self I was in bad vehicle accident that God watched over me with some minor burns, cuts, bruises, and a concussion. But later started having severe pain in my lower back that seems to pinch nerves running down the back of one of my legs. I fought with it for three years and kept exercising no matter how much it hurt. I even got into martial arts in which it helped me stay fit and muscles loosened up but still fought the pain everyday. Going on year four and have seen doctors and chiropractors nothing has helped. They either try filling me up with pain meds which I despise taking or give me different opinions. Now because of my job I had to give up martial arts and now find my self hurting more and on top of losing a huge stress reliever. Its hard to make my loved ones understand why I got to fake being happy and I have gotten to where I don't look forward to anything just because I fear of it not working out. I am 23 and watch 50 years old people get around better than me. Its hard to go from being so active to where I got to watch everything I do just so I don't cause more pain.

So do I just forget my old life and embrace all the good things in my life or keep searching for how to fix the pain. I guess I feel that my emotions on my happy side are numb. And just want yalls opinion so maybe I can think about my life in a different way.

roughsoul, back in late March, I slipped on ice and fell. I landed flat on my back, which already has degenerative disc disease in it. For the next two months, I was in absolute agony!! I could'nt stand, I could not sit, I could not sleep. The ONLY relief I got was when I laid down. I used heat packs which worked wonders, thank God. I cried all day every day out of sheer agony. I posted a prayer request on here, and several wonderful people replied and prayed for me. Thanks to all of you for that, btw. The one thing that kept my spirits up during those two months was relying on God, and coming on here. Even though I could not sit for very long, I dragged my butt in here every day. There were days I questioned God on why he had'nt healed me yet, when I and so many other people had prayed for healing for me. I expected instant healing. God does not always do instant healing.

Now for your situation, I'm glad you werent more seriously injured. The pinched nerves that go down into your legs is sciatica. Most likely you would have to have it operated on to alleviate the pain. I also have pinched nerves in my back. Sometimes my backside and legs go numb. You cant fake being happy--either you are or you're not. No one is ever happy when their in pain. You are far younger than me, I bet you can get around alot better too. I truly know how you feel, but having pain and slowing down is part of life.
You embrace the good things in your life!! Be thankful you're alive. Be thankful you still can walk, while other car accident victims are crippled and cant even move. God has blessed you in so many ways. Just remember, as bad as you may think your life is, someone else always has it alot worse than you and me do.

 

[Roughsoul]

Blue_Ladybug,

Thank you I am so sorry to hear that I hope you are doing better. I have for some reason always felt like whatever happens to me God has a reason for it. But even though I do pray for healing and never really expected instant healing even though that sure would be nice. I just have a hard time finding the reason. All I have done is push my wife away and makes me mad at myself because I regret it very time I do something to push her away. And the pain makes my job tens times harder so that makes me exhausted. I feel so bad for my wife she has to deal with me being exhausted and in pain. Pain makes me a different person and the exhaustion makes my patients thin. And I don't know if I am happy or not because when I see my amazing baby boy smile so big back at me I do feel a enormous amount of love and I always miss my wife at work and love being around her. But when it comes to my job I am blessed to have it but the pain makes it horrible to be there. So it depresses me. I stay because I am paying most the bills and have a really good medical insurance while I work I am putting my wife threw school so she can be a nurse which is her dream. See I went to school for something I thought I would like but now hate. Funny how that is. See though I got a plan she goes to school for two years and she is working part time now. Once she graduates her job she will make more than me and I have always loved psychology. So I am hoping we can switch and I can work toward a job that I believe I will love and it will be easier on me.

I understand it hard starting out and I just want to give the best for my family but sometimes feel like I am a nuisance just because I stay exhausted and stay in pain which makes me annoyingly complain. I don't talk to my wife about it no more just because I know she tired of hearing it so I do what I am not suppose to do is bottle it up.

So guess this my way of venting lol sorry. That's why I hate complaining because I know somebody has it worse but its like my brain is flooded with pain and anxiety. I guess after 4 going on 5 years of it I should just except it and either try surgery but of course that's where my anxiety kicks in and swings me into panic attacks where my body shuts down on me and I pass out waking up moments later pale, sweaty, and confused. sometimes bloody because I passed out and hit something.

I don't know but any ways thank you I have gained huge improvements on the anxiety part though. I have gotten better control over it without drugs. The pain part though I have no clue what to do but keep praying and possibly just let go of the past and except the present and pray that God has me on the path toward a great future . As you can see writing is also therapeutic for me.

I pray for you and I know how bad the pain must be for you I see it in my dad at age fifty. Also dealing with degenerative disc disease.

 

[blue_ladybug]

roughsoul, have you considered surgery as an option? I was'nt try to make it sound like my pain is greater than yours. Maybe you could try physical therapy. I hear pool therapy works very well because the water holds you up, therefore taking the pressure off your joints and back. Good luck.

 

[Roughsoul]

I never considered it just from I hear it could make it worse. Thank you I will look into it again maybe going threw therapy the second time will help fully focused on my back instead of when I hurt my shoulder they just included my back.

 

[blue_ladybug]

I never considered it just from I hear it could make it worse. Thank you I will look into it again maybe going threw therapy the second time will help fully focused on my back instead of when I hurt my shoulder they just included my back.

roughsoul, pool therapy is highly recommended by doctors. My own doctor recommended it for my back issues. The buoyancy of the water makes you float, and does'nt put pressure on any of your muscles or joints. You really should try it!!

 

[Roughsoul]

Thank you I will call and ask about it. My boy deserves for me to try because he deserves the best from his dad. I want to be there to protect when I need to or at least play a game of football with him when he is older. I don't want to let my pain define me so yes I will look into it. My boy is worth it. So thank you

 

[blue_ladybug]

Thank you I will call and ask about it. My boy deserves for me to try because he deserves the best from his dad. I want to be there to protect when I need to or at least play a game of football with him when he is older. I don't want to let my pain define me so yes I will look into it. My boy is worth it. So thank you

roughsoul, you are quite welcome..

 

[jer2911]

I do fully understand your predicaments, Roughsoul. Being the breadwinner/head of the family. Having a wife that is still studying. I admire your courage and your good example of being a responsible father/husband/worker/provider.

Telling you things, identifying your injuries, your emotions are not enough to lighten up your day. Or even reminding you that you are blessed surrounded by loved ones or still alive. Or even sharing this verse: Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

It's good that you were able to open up here in the group, When I read your story, the very first verse that came up to my mind is 2 Corinthians 12: 8-10. Three times I pleaded to the LORD... You sound like Paul pleading God, not for you to be out of the situation but just to ease the pain beecause you were resolved that God allowed it so you have to endure it.

When you are really in the process, it's really hard to see the end of it and the purpose of it. Paul pleaded to the Lord but God said, "my grace is sufficient for you."

I'll just gonna listen and listen like what is God doing to you right now. He's right there with you. May I suggest if your injury permits, to have a journal. Jot down all of it, even nonsense things. Vent all emotions to God. If you have faith partner, it's very crucial to have someone there besides your wife, A listening ear to lend, a God-fearing brother, share them all to the brother.Or even here, an accountable partner brother to chat and give private messages. if you're concerned because you know your wife also needs to rest and has many things to cater.

When I was in pain, I read this scripture: Revelation 2:10

you are about to suffer
The Smyrnaeans were about to enter a time of testing. God often warns his servants prior to a time of trial (Eze. Eze. 2:3-7; Mtt. Mat. 10:16-31; Luke Luke 9:23-24; John John 16:1-4; Acts Acts 9:16). This gives the saints His perspective and great hope knowing that He recognizes what they are going through and yet it remains within His sovereign will and purpose to leave them there (Luke Luke 22:31-32; Rom. Rom. 8:28).
the devil is about to throw
The devil is called διάβολος [diabolos] , a compound of δια [dia] (“against”) and βαλλω [ballō] (“to throw”). He is the accuser of the brethren (Rev. Rev. 12:10+) who “throws against” them his accusations (Job Job 1:6; Zec. Zec. 3:1-2).
Oppression often comes by way of people , but Scripture identifies the motivating powers behind the scene (Eph. Eph. 6:12). The early church understood this fact:
There is nothing more remarkable in the records which have come down to us of the early persecutions, and in this point they singularly illustrate the Scripture before us, than the sense which the confessors and martyrs, and those who afterwards narrate their sufferings and their triumphs, entertain and utter, that these great fights of affliction through which they were called to pass, were the immediate work of the devil, and no mere result of the offended passions, prejudices, or interests of men. The enemies of flesh and blood, as mere tools and instruments, are nearly lost sight of by them in a constant reference to satan as the invisible but real author of all.1
When members of the church at Smyrna found themselves in prison, they were to understand that it was spiritual powers which had placed them there. This would make it easier to bear the Tribulation and especially to pray for those who persecuted them (Mtt. Mat. 5:44).that you may be tested
The knowledge that their tribulation was within the plan and design of God would provide immeasurable comfort.

I hope the same with you. I told myself when I was in the process, God, you know the start and the end of it... 10 days only. Then God was faithful to me during that pain. Then all will come to pass. all are temporary.

ASKED GOD, for how long? Then pray for God's strength and wisdom to dwell in you... and the peace... will transcend...

Will include you to my prayer list. Hold on there, You are not alone, Jesus also suffered with you. That's the only comfort I can give you.... one dosage a day. lol

Thanks for your heart to endure and struggling forward. You inspired us more than you'll ever know.

Sisterly in Christ,
jer2911

 

[Roughsoul]

Jer2911,

Thank you for the scriptures and reminding me Jesus went threw more pain than I could ever believe. I do have a journal just have it filled up so probably need a new one. Writing helps me think and motivates me to learn new things. I love to read and write. It takes my mind off things. I use to have my little brother to talk to about God. But lately he been dealing with some things and seems to be acting out. And with my church I don't volunteer a lot because I am tired a lot. So its hard for me to meet people in church. And when I have a hard staying awake my wife pinches me nicely to wake up during the message. So I probably just look grumpy to people lol. I don't know if ever been somewhere you really don't like and you just feel thoughtless. I am in the same thing everyday state of mind. A lot of times feel like a zombie with no thoughts just moving place to place. Maybe that's me suppressing the emotions of being fed up with work or my work conditions. I could be suppressing them which creates zombie like mind as a self defense. Obviously a mind with nothing going on cant create anxiety or anger. But who knows. I am thankful to have found this site because I can connect on my own time. I work night shift so its nice to get on here after work or otherwise I am asleep when most people are around. Thank you again its awesome to be prayed for.

 

[mistah]

I'm sorry I have no advice... if I could heal your heart in a instant I would. I can't know God's plan, but I hope you will come out healed and a testament victorious for His glory if that is not too big a reality for me to claim... I pray your tears evaporate, your burden pass to me, and more appropriately, to Him, at its proper place beneath His feet. May God hear our prayers and give what He has in direct proportion with His own will, forever He is sovereign. Most of all I pray you find sustenance in your battle. I pray for your true smile to one day come back, bro. Day by day. That you are okay at the end of every day and your pain lessen and in times when it is really bad He reaches for you and soothes you.

 

[Roughsoul]

Mistah,

Thank you man Its a long road but I learned something today. We will have to endure suffering and in this life before we can enjoy the glory of heaven.

 

[mistah]

Mistah,

Thank you man Its a long road but I learned something today. We will have to endure suffering and in this life before we can enjoy the glory of heaven.

Yes I feel you, bro... I mean... I think it's a... like a test? Like you said. It's like a purifying. No one can really embrace your situation, because it is yours. But I do believe we are being prepared, and they say from glory to glory -- sometimes I doubt it but I am ready for it.

 

[Ceesmith]

Roughsoul,
I agree with blue ladybug! Try swimming at least once a day. It is easy on your joints while you are strengthening and stretching your muscles. You could also try doing yoga. I pray you find the strength you need physically and emotionally to get through this. God is watching over you. He does not put his children through obstacles they cannot handle. You are not alone. You have all of us and your wife and son. I will continue to pray for you. (Even if you do not feel happy, just smile and laugh!! It will eventually turn into real emotions. It is a psychological thing.) Good luck man and keep us updated.

 

[Roughsoul]

Mistah,

Yah I forget all the time this life here on earth is a test of faith. I know God is preparing us test after test. All I can do is keep my eyes toward heaven and not on earthly battles.

 

[Roughsoul]

Hey Ceesmith,

Thank you for the advice we actually got a pool but we in the middle of moving but I do plan to start using it when we move. I find the strength to except this but then I lose it when things get bad. I tend to live in the past instead of the present I know that's bad. I try to remind my self to look forward not behind. Yes you are right I got my church, friends, family and this web site. In fact I am glad to hear from yall today it was a rough day for me but I also got to serve God by doing yard work with the church. We helped two elderly couples today with their yards. I woke up this morning in so much pain and had five minutes to get there because I over slept from working the night before. But I trusted God and got up anyways and made it to church ten min late. But even though God allows my pain on a day like this. I got the great feeling you get from helping another. And God used today to also humble my heart because I over heard the lady we was helping say she was adopting her 26 year old daughter's daughter. Because her daughter had been raped and couldn't hardly look at the child so her mom is adopting her daughter. It was sad that's one thing that really digs into my heart is a kid that's in that situation and for the mom that cant even enjoy her first child, because of some lost and misguided soul of a man. But anyways I felt more humble and appreciated that my life is where its at. Yah I got issues but their my own unique issues that God gave me to prepare me in his own way for his glory in heaven.

 

[mistah]

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12

Someone shared this with me today n i thought of u bro. Hope you are doing alright.

 

[Roughsoul]

Mistah,

Appreciate that man great verse I am doing great today. How about you?

 

[mistah]

Today is cool, roughsoul. Busy but still laidback somehow.

Perfect night, you know?

 

[MooseAura]

All I have to say is that God does put us all through trials. He does allow us to be tempted and to struggle. But! God will never give us something we are not strong enough to defeat! (AMEN!)
1 Corinthians 10:13 says:
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

This is saying no matter what it is! God is watching over you, and there's always a way out, always a way to beat it. It may seem so unfair for a young man to be in pain or in such a situation, but it may be because God has an ultimate lesson to teach you, or He wanted to show you something or test you so that you have experience with it for the future!

I know our God is a caring God, so hang in there brother, there's always a way through it.