How do I control my frustration with my GF?

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L

LRG

Banned
#21
Jun 14, 2014
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#21
Trinity33 said:
you are a very mean person I pray that you find peace.... I really hope before u post again you will pray God to lead your words as I do. I am sorry you were so sick, but to me ur compassion is lacking. I'm not going arguing with you I will just continue to laugh and spread Gods love but mam... I hope U find peace
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If you want to be obnoxious then I'm sorry you have so much free time on the internet. I actually have work to do and I cannot afford to keep coming back here defending myself. You've only been here how many days and how many posts? Sorry but I have other things to do too.

I must say I don't like your personal insult and I think you are the one that is mean. There are a lot of nasty people on here that don't have any sense. I'm so sorry that you were so sick but your compassion is lacking? What kind of stupid comment is that? I'll just consider the source and ignore.

Thank you.
 
L

LRG

Banned
#22
Jun 14, 2014
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#22
Dan58 said:

Cancer or no cancer, she sounds like a "high maintenance" woman. Women seldom think men are emotional enough, but by telling you that you don't love her as much as she loves you, she's using a control tactic. Not to judge her, but she sounds like someone who's drowning in self-pity. That's understandable to a degree, but if she's crying for herself 90% of the time, and demands more than you can give, you might want to consider putting a little space between her and yourself, for your own sake. No matter how much you give or how much you care, I suspect it won't be enough for this girl? Remove the cancer from the relationship, and your left with a very demanding and unsatisfied young lady who's not content with all the attention your giving her. She sounds like an emotional wreck, which is somewhat understandable, but she's laying a lot of guilt on you. For your patience sake, take a break and let her know that she hurts your feelings by accusing you of not caring. Her wantonness is burning you out, nothing will suffice, she's driving you away by demanding more than 100%. jmo
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That figures that the one that accused me of having no compassion happened to like a post that has no compassion. Make sense out of that.

Quit judging the girl. Get off her back. She has cancer and probably feels like crap most of the time. Believe it or not that is going to affect her emotions.

Maybe she is a very sensitive person and/or depressed and that is why she cries so much.

Maybe she is not happy and scared about her future.

If the guilt doesn't fit then don't wear it. No one can put anything on you that you don't allow.

I think she needs lots of care and maybe she needs to seek someone else out since her boyfriend for whatever reason is not filling the bill. Some counseling for herself might help or join some kind of support group?

And women don't need emotional sissy baby men who cry at the drop of a hat. At least I don't. But, the man can learn to be sensitive to his woman's needs. In fact my husband who is not an emotional sissy baby tells me nice things every night before he goes to sleep. A man will try to do things to please the other if he loves the person and some men need to learn these emotional sissy skills because perhaps their upbringing was a little on the cold side.
 
L

LRG

Banned
#23
Jun 14, 2014
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#23
So many posts on here and I have to get off. I have work to do. But, something just popped into my mind that I would like to share before I go.

This girl probably feels trapped and helpless and hopeless. That can make anyone difficult to be around or live with. It takes someone with great strength and compassion to be able to handle this without losing it. You might just have to take breaks just to gain back your composure.

But, if you really love this girl then you will stick with her no matter what because you love her and because she needs you. You get to learn that love is sometimes self-sacrifice. You will be a deeper person after this experience and if you survive this then your bond will deepen also.

Nothing like adversity to show what you are made of. Just look at it as an opportunity for character development.
 
R

Rudaayyy

Guest
#24
#24
To clear some things up I have a few things to say.
i thought I was on "Christian chat" not Facebook.
i posted this not to bash anyone or my gf but to share my experience and how my faith has been juggled around but I continue to push and continue in having faith.
I know all my options in my relationship I am not a stupid man but a kind good man with a heart willing to take anything on with my faith.
I posted this because I was looking for some support in a prayer telling me to always have faith in God and never to be afraid , instead most of you judged, not a few and thank you for those few who understood and sent me a prayer. For those who judged please reflect on yourself and understand the only one that can judge anyone here is God . I explained my GFs emotions but I never explained to anyone about the beautiful person she is and how amazing she is.
thank you for your posts everyone . God bless
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#25
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
338
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#25
LRG said:
But, the man can learn to be sensitive to his woman's needs. In fact my husband who is not an emotional sissy baby tells me nice things every night before he goes to sleep. A man will try to do things to please the other if he loves the person and some men need to learn these emotional sissy skills because perhaps their upbringing was a little on the cold side.
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Yes, that's the "high maintenance" I was talking about. I agree that some women with low self-esteem need to be superficially flattered in order to feel confident about themselves. It also seems that the original poster was trying very hard to please this young lady, but its just not enough for her. When your husband tells you what you want and need to hear, it makes you feel good about yourself, but the girlfriend in question is not so easy. She sounds like a "user" to me, and is exploiting her boyfriends good nature by being excessively demanding. And it seems like he's emotionally exhausted by her constant accusations that he doesn't care enough. It just sounded to me like he's at a point where no amount of compassion will please his girlfriend, but that of course is just my take on the situation.
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#26
#26
blue_ladybug said:
Rudy, as a woman who has survived cancer, let me tell you that when you hear the words "you have cancer" from a doctor, it scares the crap out of you!! Her emotions are all over the place right now. Just continue to love her and show support. Don't try to give her beyond what you are able to give. The worst thing (IMO) to give a sick person is pity. Don't treat her any differently just because she has cancer now. With all her health issues, it sounds like she's trying to play the "poor me" card for all it's worth. Don't let her make you feel guilty, just tell her that you trust everything will be okay. :)
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Bingo!!! You said it all and I have no need to add anything.
 
L

LRG

Banned
#27
Jun 14, 2014
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#27
Rudaayyy said:
To clear some things up I have a few things to say.
i thought I was on "Christian chat" not Facebook.
i posted this not to bash anyone or my gf but to share my experience and how my faith has been juggled around but I continue to push and continue in having faith.
I know all my options in my relationship I am not a stupid man but a kind good man with a heart willing to take anything on with my faith.
I posted this because I was looking for some support in a prayer telling me to always have faith in God and never to be afraid , instead most of you judged, not a few and thank you for those few who understood and sent me a prayer. For those who judged please reflect on yourself and understand the only one that can judge anyone here is God . I explained my GFs emotions but I never explained to anyone about the beautiful person she is and how amazing she is.
thank you for your posts everyone . God bless
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Unfortunately, this is the internet and people can't understand what they haven't been through and some people have poor reading comprehension skills. It would take a novel to explain every little detail so people take what you write and then draw their own conclusions. A lot of times people won't ask you questions but make blanket statements based on their prejudices and subjective experiences.

Just because you are frustrated does not mean you don't love the person. Only a shallow person would think that. It means you are having trouble coping and you are getting tired. Maybe she needs a support group in the real world so that she can share with others going through similar circumstances. That would take some of the load off of you.

What do you expect from the internet? I'll tell you that if you are smart you will trust no one on the internet since a lot of them are phony and/or backstabbers. It is not like the real world where you can see the person face to face and size them up. The internet is full of not so healthy individuals. I've been disappointed plenty of times when looking for support so you are not the only one.

I've learned not to expect much from the internet. You can pray to Christ all day and night and you know your situation better than anyone else so maybe you don't need anyone's advice. Maybe you can see a counselor to get ideas how to cope better or join a support group for people dealing with mates that have life threatening diseases.
 
L

LRG

Banned
#28
Jun 14, 2014
312
2
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#28
Dan58 said:

Yes, that's the "high maintenance" I was talking about. I agree that some women with low self-esteem need to be superficially flattered in order to feel confident about themselves. It also seems that the original poster was trying very hard to please this young lady, but its just not enough for her. When your husband tells you what you want and need to hear, it makes you feel good about yourself, but the girlfriend in question is not so easy. She sounds like a "user" to me, and is exploiting her boyfriends good nature by being excessively demanding. And it seems like he's emotionally exhausted by her constant accusations that he doesn't care enough. It just sounded to me like he's at a point where no amount of compassion will please his girlfriend, but that of course is just my take on the situation.
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Being loving and kind and/or romantic with your spouse is not high maintenance. It is called love. If you have never experienced this then how on earth would you know about it? Being complimented and stroked by your spouse is not superficial and it has nothing to do with low self-esteem. It has to do with love. It has to do with expressing what you think about your beloved. If you have no feelings then you couldn't relate to this.

You don't know my husband. He says what he says because he wants to and because that is what he thinks. He mostly shows his love by doing things like being the financial provider, watching grandbaby, fixing the car, letting me sleep when I am sick and vacuuming once in a while. He does these things on his own but I am a more verbal person so he tries to accommodate me in this respect. Which is no easy feat for him since he is the strong silent type and comes from a family that really doesn't communicate that well. But before you jump the gun like everyone else on here he still feels all these things whether he verbalized them or not.

And self-esteem is a joke. The Bible doesn't teach that concept. It comes from humanism. The Bible says no one hates their own flesh. It is human nature to care about yourself so low self-esteem as you call it has nothing to do with it. It has to do with loving and being loved. It has to do with a relationship between male and female and it happens to be normal.

She is not a user and that is just plain wrong for you to say that.

Your take is dreadfully wrong.

No surprise that ladybug would like a post like this.

I've also noticed that a lot of you with the stinking thinking attitudes are single and not married. You are a tad jaded in my opinion.
 
B

butterfly712

Guest
#29
#29
Rudaayyy said:
I am 25 years old my gf is 19,
She has cancer and other health issues,
I love her, I take care of her, I do my best to show her all the affection I can, I do my best to give her as much of my time possible, I am a full time student at a university and have a part time job.
She is very emotional and I understand with the Cancer,
We have been together for almost 1 year and half and at first I had all the patience in the world,
but as time passed her emotions began feeling like a vicious circle that has made me depressed,
I pray to god for help and i try different things to break the vicious circle but not have really made a difference,
She tells me I don't love her as much as she loves me, she tells me I am not emotional enough, she tell me I intimidate her she tells me why don't i show more? and I ask her what do you mean??? I love you I always give you every spare moment I have and yet you tell me it is not enough?
After she tell me these things she persists and says I am the love of her life and I am the one and special to her yet since we have been together the whole 1 year and half i would say she has cried 90% of the relationship, and it has taken its toll on me greatly.
I understand she has cancer and is sick but I never gave her pity and always do my best to show her god has a plan for her and she will fight it, she says she prays but I feel its demons that drive her crazy.
At this point its hard for me to have patience because as soon as she starts getting emotional I just cant handle it anymore and I want to get away because I feel hurt that all I have done has show merely no progress, I pray and hope.
And my faith in god is all I have.
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Rudaayyy,I'm praying for you and your gf,in Jesus name,Amen.
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#30
#30
Rudaayyy said:
To clear some things up I have a few things to say.
i thought I was on "Christian chat" not Facebook.
i posted this not to bash anyone or my gf but to share my experience and how my faith has been juggled around but I continue to push and continue in having faith.
I know all my options in my relationship I am not a stupid man but a kind good man with a heart willing to take anything on with my faith.
I posted this because I was looking for some support in a prayer telling me to always have faith in God and never to be afraid , instead most of you judged, not a few and thank you for those few who understood and sent me a prayer. For those who judged please reflect on yourself and understand the only one that can judge anyone here is God . I explained my GFs emotions but I never explained to anyone about the beautiful person she is and how amazing she is.
thank you for your posts everyone . God bless
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dear one, if i am one of those from whom you felt judgment,
please will you forgive me?

thanks for your clarification.

 
T

Trinity33

Guest
#31
#31
LRG said:
If you want to be obnoxious then I'm sorry you have so much free time on the internet. I actually have work to do and I cannot afford to keep coming back here defending myself. You've only been here how many days and how many posts? Sorry but I have other things to do too.

I must say I don't like your personal insult and I think you are the one that is mean. There are a lot of nasty people on here that don't have any sense. I'm so sorry that you were so sick but your compassion is lacking? What kind of stupid comment is that? I'll just consider the source and ignore.

Thank you.
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LoL ur an angry woman sorry if the truth hurts I'm sorry that u have so many problems instead of striking out and hurting others why not just be nice and say nice things? So what if I have a lot of time....so what if I work for myself I don't come on here being disrespectful and rude.... Have a blessed day hope life gets better, for you....I will not respond to you again the Lord says if they quench your spirit do not Terri
 
T

Trinity33

Guest
#32
#32
I wish you well and pray your lady recovers God Bless you
 
L

LRG

Banned
#33
Jun 14, 2014
312
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#33
Trinity33 said:
LoL ur an angry woman sorry if the truth hurts I'm sorry that u have so many problems instead of striking out and hurting others why not just be nice and say nice things? So what if I have a lot of time....so what if I work for myself I don't come on here being disrespectful and rude.... Have a blessed day hope life gets better, for you....I will not respond to you again the Lord says if they quench your spirit do not Terri
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Are you a narcissist? It's not the truth. Please don't respond to me again. That would be really nice and make me incredibly happy.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#34
#34
So many bad posts in here. Amd, I suspect, even a troll.
 
L

LRG

Banned
#35
Jun 14, 2014
312
2
0
#35
Trinity33 said:
LoL ur an angry woman sorry if the truth hurts I'm sorry that u have so many problems instead of striking out and hurting others why not just be nice and say nice things? So what if I have a lot of time....so what if I work for myself I don't come on here being disrespectful and rude.... Have a blessed day hope life gets better, for you....I will not respond to you again the Lord says if they quench your spirit do not Terri
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You're about as phoney baloney as they come. If you think I am angry then how is that funny? Are you sick?

It is unbelievable the kind of crap that is on here. Ladybug can be rude and abusive and say not nice things but that is okay because you support that person. But if someone else states what they think then you cry blue murder.

It is more than obvious to me that you are unstable and cannot be trusted. Please take your own advice and don't open your mouth unless you can say nice things. I believe that would apply to me also unless you are a respecter of persons.

I have no power to quench anyone's spirit. You are delusional.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#36
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#36
This thread is possessed. Anger is all over the place. What are you angry about anyway? This thread is not even about you.
 
L

LRG

Banned
#38
Jun 14, 2014
312
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#38
Ugly said:
So many bad posts in here. Amd, I suspect, even a troll.
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Bearing false witness is a sin. There is no troll on here. If you think there is then state the name instead of insinuating that which is false.
 
L

LRG

Banned
#39
Jun 14, 2014
312
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#39
Tinkerbell725 said:
This thread is possessed. Anger is all over the place. What are you angry about anyway? This thread is not even about you.
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I will assume you are referring to me but don't directly state so.

I am angry because ignorant people on here have said ignorant things regarding the guys girlfriend being high maintenance and self-pitying, etc. I feel I have also been attacked on here.

I know this thread is not about me and I did give some advice to the op.

But what right do other people have to make judgments about a person they don't even know?
 
T

Trinity33

Guest
#40
#40
LRG said:
I will assume you are referring to me but don't directly state so.

I am angry because ignorant people on here have said ignorant things regarding the guys girlfriend being high maintenance and self-pitying, etc. I feel I have also been attacked on here.

I know this thread is not about me and I did give some advice to the op.

But what right do other people have to make judgments about a person they don't even know?
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you are right, I apologize for saying you were mean. Forgive my quick temper
 
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