Do you believe in romance??

[Jullianna]

Romance and love are two different things.

Romance is what the world wants you to believe what love is: Nicholas Sparks, Disney, Valentine's Day, etc.
--Kissing in the rain
--Rose petals and champagne
--"Noooo, YOU hang up first! *giggle*"
--Moonlight serenades

Actual love is too busy for that stuff. Because actual LOVE is busy doing this:
--Changing a poopy-diaper instead of watching the final game-winning drive
--Scrounging up a homemade meal after a 12-hour workday because even fast-food is too expensive
--Skipping out on any Christmas gifts for yourself or your spouse to make sure bills are paid
--Praying and crying together when a parent-in-law or sibling-in-law dies
--Working extra hours so your spouse can finish that degree
--Making the bed every morning, because they like it made even though you think it's a waste of time
--Using your hard-earned day off to clean and prep the house for a visit from your in-laws
--Fighting over an undone chore, an impulse purchase, or an unthoughtful remark
--Doing things the way God says in the Bible, rather than take the easy way out
--Actually talking out fears and frustrations, rather than hiding at the bar or coffee shop for hours
--Watching them suffer through chemotherapy, or surgery, or depression
--Driving the rusted out junkpile for another year or two because they needed the newer car more
--Not sleeping while you instead, help your offspring with ANOTHER diorama for school
--Walking, feeding, and cleaning up after a dog you never wanted

Who's ready to sign up for a lifetime of THAT?! Sounds AWESOME, right?

Of course it doesn't. Romance is an idea, which makes it a noun, a feeling, a thing. Love is what you DO...as DCTalk once sang, love is a VERB. So we buy the lie about romance, thinking that's the ideal version of love. But when it comes time to LOVE, to actually DO...and we find out that love is NOT romance, roughly 50% of people find out that being romantic isn't enough to actually LOVE, and another marriage fails.

Romance is what you create because YOU WANT. You want, "need," that other person in your life. So you create romance to win them over.

Love is what you do, because THEY NEED. They need something, and you do the providing for that need, because you don't want them to have unmet needs. To be loved in return is no different, your partner equally thinking of YOUR need, and wanting to provide for you.

Christ doesn't romance us. He doesn't woo us or seduce us...He loves because we need, and He can provide for our need if we are willing to give ourselves to Him. THAT'S our model of love.

In the end, all romance does is lead you to the bedroom. Nice, but not sustainable. Also, far too much work for far too little reward. (Seriously, getting laid doesn't actually require romance, but in a day and age where people can barely distinguish 'being loved' from 'making love,' well...) Love leads to pain and sacrifice, but the comfort of knowing you aren't alone, and that someone is going to be with you when your life is hardest, when times are darkest, when anyone one else would abandon you.

Do I believe romance exists? Sure. I also believe that Twinkies exist. But I also know better than to eat nothing but Twinkies and expect healthy results...

Someone else will have to rep you for this. Server says it's too soon for me to do it.

 

[AsifinPassing]

I realize this is kind of trollish, but the thread made me think of this song...and I really like it, so:

[video=youtube;CvcxQq_qVhk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvcxQq_qVhk[/video]

 

[zeroturbulence]

I love that song!

 

[Inu]

I'm waiting for a woman to romance me.

Who needs a prince charming when you can have a ninja..... bwahahahaha.... who shall accept the challenge extended by our brave ninja??????

 

[zeroturbulence]

Who needs a prince charming when you can have a ninja..... bwahahahaha.... who shall accept the challenge extended by our brave ninja??????

View attachment 89824

Thank you, Inu!!

 

[Inu]

Thank you, Inu!!

Hehe my pleasure!

 

[sumasa]

I am curious. Do you believe in romance yes or no?? If not why not?? How would you define romance?? Does romance go away after your married??

For me I dunno if I believe in romance or not. I like to think it exists but we do live in a fallen sinful world. For me romance is getting flowers and gifts unexpectedly without reason just because, getting love letters in the mail from someone when they live next door, calling me just to hear my voice, wanting to spend time with me just because, dancing with me when there is no music, going for walks in the rain, getting hugs and kisses when I don't expect them and when I do expect them, serenading me outside my house, opening doors for me, pulling out chairs for me to sit in, carrying me down steps so that I will not fall. When I think of romance I think of the Disney movies such as Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty And The Beast, The Little Mermaid etc. What is your opinion?? Are these childish thoughts that one needs to forget about?? Have you experienced what you would call romance?? Please share.

Read the book of Hoseas and his relation with Gomer, you will see that no matter what, Hoseas still loved Gomer with a great love and romance.

Or also read the story of Jacob and his romantic and his huge desire for Rachel, what he went to just to be able to have her... and many other examples of romance and love from the bible

 

[sumasa]

Romance and love are two different things.

Romance is what the world wants you to believe what love is: Nicholas Sparks, Disney, Valentine's Day, etc.
--Kissing in the rain
--Rose petals and champagne
--"Noooo, YOU hang up first! *giggle*"
--Moonlight serenades

Actual love is too busy for that stuff. Because actual LOVE is busy doing this:
--Changing a poopy-diaper instead of watching the final game-winning drive
--Scrounging up a homemade meal after a 12-hour workday because even fast-food is too expensive
--Skipping out on any Christmas gifts for yourself or your spouse to make sure bills are paid
--Praying and crying together when a parent-in-law or sibling-in-law dies
--Working extra hours so your spouse can finish that degree
--Making the bed every morning, because they like it made even though you think it's a waste of time
--Using your hard-earned day off to clean and prep the house for a visit from your in-laws
--Fighting over an undone chore, an impulse purchase, or an unthoughtful remark
--Doing things the way God says in the Bible, rather than take the easy way out
--Actually talking out fears and frustrations, rather than hiding at the bar or coffee shop for hours
--Watching them suffer through chemotherapy, or surgery, or depression
--Driving the rusted out junkpile for another year or two because they needed the newer car more
--Not sleeping while you instead, help your offspring with ANOTHER diorama for school
--Walking, feeding, and cleaning up after a dog you never wanted

Who's ready to sign up for a lifetime of THAT?! Sounds AWESOME, right?

Of course it doesn't. Romance is an idea, which makes it a noun, a feeling, a thing. Love is what you DO...as DCTalk once sang, love is a VERB. So we buy the lie about romance, thinking that's the ideal version of love. But when it comes time to LOVE, to actually DO...and we find out that love is NOT romance, roughly 50% of people find out that being romantic isn't enough to actually LOVE, and another marriage fails.

Romance is what you create because YOU WANT. You want, "need," that other person in your life. So you create romance to win them over.

Love is what you do, because THEY NEED. They need something, and you do the providing for that need, because you don't want them to have unmet needs. To be loved in return is no different, your partner equally thinking of YOUR need, and wanting to provide for you.

Christ doesn't romance us. He doesn't woo us or seduce us...He loves because we need, and He can provide for our need if we are willing to give ourselves to Him. THAT'S our model of love.

In the end, all romance does is lead you to the bedroom. Nice, but not sustainable. Also, far too much work for far too little reward. (Seriously, getting laid doesn't actually require romance, but in a day and age where people can barely distinguish 'being loved' from 'making love,' well...) Love leads to pain and sacrifice, but the comfort of knowing you aren't alone, and that someone is going to be with you when your life is hardest, when times are darkest, when anyone one else would abandon you.

Do I believe romance exists? Sure. I also believe that Twinkies exist. But I also know better than to eat nothing but Twinkies and expect healthy results...

The examples from the Bible tells me something different.. like Hoseas and Gomer, Jacob and Rachel... etc reading those books will give you an ideea of the type of love and romance there were, sacrifices made by both Hoseas and Jacob for their wives...

 

[akrick]

Romance is whatever the one being romanced says it is.

 

[BananaPie]

Romance is waking up to Mooseburgers each morning.

 

[ELECT]

I believe in romance. I think romance looks different to everybody though. What is romantic to me may be stupid or cheesy to someone else, and viceversa.

Songs of solomon is a romantic book therefore yeah romance is cool

 

[sassylady]

There is romance but it is superficial, it's not real life, and if one is not careful it is way too easy to get caught up in romance and expect life will always be like that.

 

[tourist]

sounds like you have some experience in this, perhaps Im just naive but I believe in true love and deep romance.

I'm going with your flow big guy. I believe exactly like you do.

 

[Trailblazer]

I'm waiting for a woman to romance me.

View attachment 89795

I think a woman maybe romanced me before. Or maybe she was just lusting after me
In all honesty. It was probably just a very vivid dream that I had one night. LOL

 

[Loveneverfails]

Scripture mentions three forms of love: divine love, brotherly (friendship) love, and romantic love. In terms of depth, strength, stability, and perfection, divine love is of course the best, followed by brotherly, and finally romantic love.

Romantic love may be the least substantial of the three types of love but it is not bad. It's only bad when one thinks it's the only type of love they need (much like Shouryu's example of trying to live off of a Twinkies-only diet). A great relationship between a man and a woman needs to first be founded upon the greatest love of all: the Love of Christ. "We love because He first loved us" - 1 John 4:19

Secondly, it needs to daily thrive off of brotherly love. The friendship/companion love is the type of love that gets you through the days of poopy diapers, unpaid bills, crazy in-laws, etc. This is the love that puts the other person first: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" - John 15:13

Finally, there's romantic love. This is the love that comes from simply delighting in the other person. This is the feel-good love. You adore them, and you just want to put a smile on their face. You want to be near them all the time and you can't get enough of them. This is the love that comes and goes, but when it's there, and especially when it's mutual, it is the sweet icing on an already very delicious cake. "My beloved is mine, and I am his" - Song of Solomon 2:16.

These days, a lot of people have the formula reversed. Romantic love is their first priority, but they may not be the best at demonstrating brotherly love and simply being a good friend, and often times, the foundation upon Christ's love is simply non-existent. I once heard it put this way, I can't remember the author, but I paraphase: If a marriage is a house, God's love is the foundation, brotherly (friendship) love is the walls and roof, and romance is the fire that keeps the house warm. I love this analogy, because it emphasizes the importance of each type of love being used in the proper context. You can't build a house on top of fire, so why would you try to build a life based purely on romantic love? On the other hand, you can certainly live in a house that was built on a good foundation and has solid walls, but without the fire, it will be cold. The latter example is very real to me, as I have watched my parents' marriage crumble because they had the right foundation and pretty decent walls but completely regarded the fire as non-essential. I mentioned in a post in streams that they're making progress with their christian counseling sessions, and that progress has been directly related to them finally realizing the importance of nurturing their romance.

So yes, I believe in romance. I believe that in the context of a relationship that is founded on Christ and thriving on brotherly love, it's a beautiful thing. I understand the strength of romantic love waxes and wanes over the various seasons of life, but I also believe that there's nothing wrong with nurturing a romance and keeping the fire warm.

 

[ServantStrike]

Love to me is directly proprotional to how much effort you're willing to put into a relationship to keep it going, and how much you're willing to sacrifice for the person in the relationship.

And I don't mean effort as in "I'll be the prince charming who chases after you" Disney nonsense. That only works when the relationship is romantic (rather than say a friendship or a familial bond), and it doesn't work for very long. Real men (and women) don't have time for that crap, and honestly if someone is looking to another human being for validation, they're going to have a bad time.

Showing love requires discipline, sacrifice, and patience. If you're pouring your heart out for someone, they had better be willing to do the same thing for you, otherwise it's time to pull back.

Maybe that's why everyone ends up dead when Shakespeare writes about it.

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Ah the heck with it. Let's all just get aggro and go passive-aggressive.

But, ouch! what brick through yonder window breaks?

 

[AnnaBou]

Romance is not just Disney stuff. Courtly love and chivalric values were part of a Christian way in mediaeval times. It is about noble love that believes that physical attraction is part of it but you have to have discipline and not give in to it, and is about proving you can wait. The tales that French nobility had told about knights performing tasks for their Lady or slaying dragons were the stories they had about the ideas.

 

[kayem77]

Scripture mentions three forms of love: divine love, brotherly (friendship) love, and romantic love. In terms of depth, strength, stability, and perfection, divine love is of course the best, followed by brotherly, and finally romantic love.

Romantic love may be the least substantial of the three types of love but it is not bad. It's only bad when one thinks it's the only type of love they need (much like Shouryu's example of trying to live off of a Twinkies-only diet). A great relationship between a man and a woman needs to first be founded upon the greatest love of all: the Love of Christ. "We love because He first loved us" - 1 John 4:19

Secondly, it needs to daily thrive off of brotherly love. The friendship/companion love is the type of love that gets you through the days of poopy diapers, unpaid bills, crazy in-laws, etc. This is the love that puts the other person first: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" - John 15:13

Finally, there's romantic love. This is the love that comes from simply delighting in the other person. This is the feel-good love. You adore them, and you just want to put a smile on their face. You want to be near them all the time and you can't get enough of them. This is the love that comes and goes, but when it's there, and especially when it's mutual, it is the sweet icing on an already very delicious cake. "My beloved is mine, and I am his" - Song of Solomon 2:16.

These days, a lot of people have the formula reversed. Romantic love is their first priority, but they may not be the best at demonstrating brotherly love and simply being a good friend, and often times, the foundation upon Christ's love is simply non-existent. I once heard it put this way, I can't remember the author, but I paraphase: If a marriage is a house, God's love is the foundation, brotherly (friendship) love is the walls and roof, and romance is the fire that keeps the house warm. I love this analogy, because it emphasizes the importance of each type of love being used in the proper context. You can't build a house on top of fire, so why would you try to build a life based purely on romantic love? On the other hand, you can certainly live in a house that was built on a good foundation and has solid walls, but without the fire, it will be cold. The latter example is very real to me, as I have watched my parents' marriage crumble because they had the right foundation and pretty decent walls but completely regarded the fire as non-essential. I mentioned in a post in streams that they're making progress with their christian counseling sessions, and that progress has been directly related to them finally realizing the importance of nurturing their romance.

So yes, I believe in romance. I believe that in the context of a relationship that is founded on Christ and thriving on brotherly love, it's a beautiful thing. I understand the strength of romantic love waxes and wanes over the various seasons of life, but I also believe that there's nothing wrong with nurturing a romance and keeping the fire warm.

Great post!! I would Rep you but apparently you were the last person I repped

 

[tourist]

Scripture mentions three forms of love: divine love, brotherly (friendship) love, and romantic love. In terms of depth, strength, stability, and perfection, divine love is of course the best, followed by brotherly, and finally romantic love.

Romantic love may be the least substantial of the three types of love but it is not bad. It's only bad when one thinks it's the only type of love they need (much like Shouryu's example of trying to live off of a Twinkies-only diet). A great relationship between a man and a woman needs to first be founded upon the greatest love of all: the Love of Christ. "We love because He first loved us" - 1 John 4:19

Secondly, it needs to daily thrive off of brotherly love. The friendship/companion love is the type of love that gets you through the days of poopy diapers, unpaid bills, crazy in-laws, etc. This is the love that puts the other person first: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" - John 15:13

Finally, there's romantic love. This is the love that comes from simply delighting in the other person. This is the feel-good love. You adore them, and you just want to put a smile on their face. You want to be near them all the time and you can't get enough of them. This is the love that comes and goes, but when it's there, and especially when it's mutual, it is the sweet icing on an already very delicious cake. "My beloved is mine, and I am his" - Song of Solomon 2:16.

These days, a lot of people have the formula reversed. Romantic love is their first priority, but they may not be the best at demonstrating brotherly love and simply being a good friend, and often times, the foundation upon Christ's love is simply non-existent. I once heard it put this way, I can't remember the author, but I paraphase: If a marriage is a house, God's love is the foundation, brotherly (friendship) love is the walls and roof, and romance is the fire that keeps the house warm. I love this analogy, because it emphasizes the importance of each type of love being used in the proper context. You can't build a house on top of fire, so why would you try to build a life based purely on romantic love? On the other hand, you can certainly live in a house that was built on a good foundation and has solid walls, but without the fire, it will be cold. The latter example is very real to me, as I have watched my parents' marriage crumble because they had the right foundation and pretty decent walls but completely regarded the fire as non-essential. I mentioned in a post in streams that they're making progress with their christian counseling sessions, and that progress has been directly related to them finally realizing the importance of nurturing their romance.

So yes, I believe in romance. I believe that in the context of a relationship that is founded on Christ and thriving on brotherly love, it's a beautiful thing. I understand the strength of romantic love waxes and wanes over the various seasons of life, but I also believe that there's nothing wrong with nurturing a romance and keeping the fire warm.

The Song of Solomon is my favorite book of the bible and I love the verse you quoted. I agree with your points of view completely. Yes, the falling in love type of love is the 'feel good' type of love. The divine type of love sustains the marriage. The 'best friend ' type of love does indeed help the couple sustain the inevitable ups and downs. I believe that all three types of love are necessary to have a loving and enduring relationship. This type of love comes only from God and is a gift to the husband and wife that desire to love and serve the Lord. This is a love triangle.


Your post is outstanding and is a must-read for those contemplating marriage. God is love and without God a loving, faithful, and abiding marriage is impossible.

 

[tourist]

Romance and love are two different things.

Romance is what the world wants you to believe what love is: Nicholas Sparks, Disney, Valentine's Day, etc.
--Kissing in the rain
--Rose petals and champagne
--"Noooo, YOU hang up first! *giggle*"
--Moonlight serenades

Actual love is too busy for that stuff. Because actual LOVE is busy doing this:
--Changing a poopy-diaper instead of watching the final game-winning drive
--Scrounging up a homemade meal after a 12-hour workday because even fast-food is too expensive
--Skipping out on any Christmas gifts for yourself or your spouse to make sure bills are paid
--Praying and crying together when a parent-in-law or sibling-in-law dies
--Working extra hours so your spouse can finish that degree
--Making the bed every morning, because they like it made even though you think it's a waste of time
--Using your hard-earned day off to clean and prep the house for a visit from your in-laws
--Fighting over an undone chore, an impulse purchase, or an unthoughtful remark
--Doing things the way God says in the Bible, rather than take the easy way out
--Actually talking out fears and frustrations, rather than hiding at the bar or coffee shop for hours
--Watching them suffer through chemotherapy, or surgery, or depression
--Driving the rusted out junkpile for another year or two because they needed the newer car more
--Not sleeping while you instead, help your offspring with ANOTHER diorama for school
--Walking, feeding, and cleaning up after a dog you never wanted

Who's ready to sign up for a lifetime of THAT?! Sounds AWESOME, right?

Of course it doesn't. Romance is an idea, which makes it a noun, a feeling, a thing. Love is what you DO...as DCTalk once sang, love is a VERB. So we buy the lie about romance, thinking that's the ideal version of love. But when it comes time to LOVE, to actually DO...and we find out that love is NOT romance, roughly 50% of people find out that being romantic isn't enough to actually LOVE, and another marriage fails.

Romance is what you create because YOU WANT. You want, "need," that other person in your life. So you create romance to win them over.

Love is what you do, because THEY NEED. They need something, and you do the providing for that need, because you don't want them to have unmet needs. To be loved in return is no different, your partner equally thinking of YOUR need, and wanting to provide for you.

Christ doesn't romance us. He doesn't woo us or seduce us...He loves because we need, and He can provide for our need if we are willing to give ourselves to Him. THAT'S our model of love.

In the end, all romance does is lead you to the bedroom. Nice, but not sustainable. Also, far too much work for far too little reward. (Seriously, getting laid doesn't actually require romance, but in a day and age where people can barely distinguish 'being loved' from 'making love,' well...) Love leads to pain and sacrifice, but the comfort of knowing you aren't alone, and that someone is going to be with you when your life is hardest, when times are darkest, when anyone one else would abandon you.

Do I believe romance exists? Sure. I also believe that Twinkies exist. But I also know better than to eat nothing but Twinkies and expect healthy results...

I believe from a lifetime of observation and experience that Christ does indeed romance us. Your post is excellent and well written. Of course, romance does not sustain a relationship but a relationship devoid of romance is as dry as toast. Again, I appreciate your observations and believe them to be valid.