Is porn cheating?

[gypsygirl]

I see them as both being equally destructive. It is not trying to minimize or make an excuse for porn. No way. Porn is still evil and a sin and can send someone to Hell if they refuse to repent of such a sin. The point I am trying to make is that Jesus says in His Word there are greater sins. He actually uses those words. Greater sin. So not all sins are the same. Jesus mentions that there is a blasphmeous sin that is unforgivable. There are sins that do not lead unto death (1 John 5:16-18). There are hidden and secret faults. To say that a woman would not be more upset by them cheating on them with an actual woman are just lying. I know I would be more upset with my future wife if she were to cheat on me versus her having a moment of weakness on the internet. The two are both acts of adultery but they both are not the same kind level of sin, though. For John equates hate with murder. Surely hating someone is not as bad as murder.

i never called all sins equal, and i agree that there is difference in sin. that is bibically founded.

but you are ignoring my point that the loss felt by porn addiction is more than just simple cheating.

see, i look at habitual sin as a larger issue. and the effort and deception required to hide a porn addiction is a lot greater betrayal that one night of cheating. i would be loath to consider either of them great options to choose from, but if you asked me whether i'd rather have to face one night of cheating when my husband was travelling, vs. his keeping a porn addiction from me for 6 months and all the fallout that would bring upon us, as a couple, i'd rather have to deal with the former, not the latter.

oh, and as a general rule, a lot of women find emotional cheating far more painful than sexual cheating. but i understand that most men aren't going to agree with that.

 

[Jason0047]

i never called all sins equal, and i agree that there is difference in sin. that is bibically founded.

but you are ignoring my point that the loss felt by porn addiction is more than just simple cheating.

see, i look at habitual sin as a larger issue. and the effort and deception required to hide a porn addiction is a lot greater betrayal that one night of cheating. i would be loath to consider either of them great options to choose from, but if you asked me whether i'd rather have to face one night of cheating when my husband was travelling, vs. his keeping a porn addiction from me for 6 months and all the fallout that would bring upon us, as a couple, i'd rather have to deal with the former, not the latter.

oh, and as a general rule, a lot of women find emotional cheating far more painful that sexual cheating. but i understand that most men aren't going to agree with that.

So okay. You found out you got a sexual disease (Because he cheated on you) and he is possibly going to leave you because of that one night stand versus say him having moments of weakness on the internet? Okay. You have a strange way of looking at things in my view. I see actual cheating as being far more destructive. The Bible says you create a covenant with someone and become one flesh with them one you have sex with them. You become joined with them. You create a tie with them. I would see cheating as a sign of breaking that covenant and or a trust within that relationship whereby you would always be thinking if they are being faithful with you ever again. It will always be in the back of your mind if they went to the store for a few hours. Porn is still evil and wrong but it is more of man's weakness of his flesh. Granted, I am not saying porn is better. It is still evil and bad. However, if a man is involved in porn, that does not mean he may not actively be seeking to begin another relationship and leave you and or give you a sexual disease in the process (Which is even more of a lack of love on their part). To me, the problem is a lot more fixable. Whereas if they cheated with an actual flesh and blood person, I would be thinking the marriage was over because of their unfaithfulness.

 

[Jason0047]

So okay. You found out you got a sexual disease (Because he cheated on you) and he is possibly going to leave you because of that one night stand versus say him having moments of weakness on the internet? Okay. You have a strange way of looking at things in my view. I see actual cheating as being far more destructive. The Bible says you create a covenant with someone and become one flesh with them one you have sex with them. You become joined with them. You create a tie with them. I would see cheating as a sign of breaking that covenant and or a trust within that relationship whereby you would always be thinking if they are being faithful with you ever again. It will always be in the back of your mind if they went to the store for a few hours. Porn is still evil and wrong but it is more of man's weakness of his flesh. Granted, I am not saying porn is better. It is still evil and bad. However, if a man is involved in porn, that does not mean he may not actively be seeking to begin another relationship and leave you and or give you a sexual disease in the process (Which is even more of a lack of love on their part). To me, the problem is a lot more fixable. Whereas if they cheated with an actual flesh and blood person, I would be thinking the marriage was over because of their unfaithfulness.

For there are a lot more steps of rebellion involved. One has to take that other person out and flirt with them and make them feel special and then actually make the concious decision to physically have sex with them. Then, if I knew who the other person was (who cheated with my spouse), I would always keep seeing that other person violating the one I love. It would be a whole lot more devastating than some moment of weakiness of the internet. The issue of trust would be disolved. The issue of marriage and it's sacredness between each other would be tainted and gone. Things would never be the same again.

 

[kennethcadwell]

I have read a few postings on here and here is the thing, as porn is sin, but as for cheating it depends on the relationship.
For I have known some couples that watch porn together, and they say they use it to spice up their own sex life. Some of these couples have been together for over 10 years now and are still happy together.
This does not excuse the fact they are living in a sinful way, but they at no way consider it to be cheating on one another.
If you do see your spouse as cheating if they watch porn then yes it is cheating, as that is dependent on a case by case situation. Some people do not like it at all as we shouldn't, but some are openly accepting of it and use it in their relationships. So no not in all cases can porn be considered as cheating !!!


As for all sins equal they are, for any sin that is unrepented of, meaning the person continues to live in that sin willfully without giving it up will lead a person to the lake of fire.
Lord Jesus makes this clear in Luke 13:2-5 that unless a person repents of their sin, even though they believe their sin is a lesser sin then another, that person will perish as well.

The misconception comes from the Lord Jesus using the wordage greater sin.
When Jesus says to Pilate those who delivered Him up to him are guilty of greater sin, He was referring to unbelief.
For anybody who does not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ never has been saved, and therefore have always been of their father satan. Unbelief also falls under the category of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, as anytime you deny any part of the Spirit; His guidance, fruits, gifts, purpose, and teaching then you are in unbelief..........

Therefore the only sin that is greater then others is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and unbelief !!!

Lord Jesus shows your feelings are just as sinful and bad as the actual action.
People get confused on this and have been taught thoughts are sins, but it is feelings and not thoughts as the Apostle James clears this up on what the Lord was teaching in James 1:14-15.

 

[gypsygirl]

So okay. You found out you got a sexual disease (Because he cheated on you) and he is possibly going to leave you because of that one night stand versus say him having moments of weakness on the internet? Okay. You have a strange way of looking at things in my view. I see actual cheating as being far more destructive. The Bible says you create a covenant with someone and become one flesh with them one you have sex with them. You become joined with them. You create a tie with them. I would see cheating as a sign of breaking that covenant and or a trust within that relationship whereby you would always be thinking if they are being faithful with you ever again. It will always be in the back of your mind if they went to the store for a few hours. Porn is still evil and wrong but it is more of man's weakness of his flesh. Granted, I am not saying porn is better. It is still evil and bad. However, if a man is involved in porn, that does not mean he may not actively be seeking to begin another relationship and leave you and or give you a sexual disease in the process (Which is even more of a lack of love on their part). To me, the problem is a lot more fixable. Whereas if they cheated with an actual flesh and blood person, I would be thinking the marriage was over because of their unfaithfulness.

you have added a great deal of detail to an example i didn't give. i actually was assuming that surrounding details of both scenarios are equal, with examples where the offending partners repented and asked for forgiveness.

i'm speaking only to my experiences and what i've observed. i used to work and travel a lot in sales, where i saw plenty of men have one night stands with someone they had no intention of ever contacting.

listen, i'm not interested in a tit for tat kind of discussion. i'm simply pointing out to you, as i linked in my original post that porn addiction isn't just what you are calling it, "a moment of weakness", because i was referring to a habitual sin habit, that included many, many, many moments of weakness. i am pointing out to you that the loss isn't just a loss of fidelity, but intimacy, attachment, and deception that would require many days/weeks to create.

further, your point about losing your marriage isn't any more relevant to your example than the other. i don't have the time to research it now, but porn addiction also has a high casualty rate, and many marriages don't recover either.

thanks and have a good night. : )

 

[Jason0047]

you have added a great deal of detail to an example i didn't give. i actually was assuming that surrounding details of both scenarios are equal, with examples where the offending partners repented and asked for forgiveness.

i'm speaking only to my experiences and what i've observed. i used to work and travel a lot in sales, where i saw plenty of men have one night stands with someone they had no intention of ever contacting.

listen, i'm not interested in a tit for tat kind of discussion. i'm simply pointing out to you, as i linked in my original post that porn addiction isn't just what you are calling it, "a moment of weakness", because i was referring to a habitual sin habit, that included many, many, many moments of weakness. i am pointing out to you that the loss isn't just a loss of fidelity, but intimacy, attachment, and deception that would require many days/weeks to create.

further, your point about losing your marriage isn't any more relevant to your example than the other. i don't have the time to research it now, but porn addiction also has a high casualty rate, and many marriages don't recover either.

thanks and have a good night. : )

As Kenneth pointed out there are many unbelieving sinful couples who are faithful to each other who use porn to spice up their sex life. Granted, this use of porn is still a sin and it is wrong. Now, I disagree with him that all porn is a form of cheating. Jesus said looking upon a woman in lust is commiting adultery with them in their heart. But if a couple is sinfully doing so together it is a sin that is a lot more mild (In it's form of cheating). It is more of a form of sinful fantasy that is inappropriate but it does not mean one is going to leave their wife because of it, though. That is kind of the point. The sin of porn is still very destructive and can even end relationships in some cases, but nowhere near the case of those who actually cheat on their spouse with another flesh and blood human being, though. That is stepping over the line. Breaking a covenant.

 

[MarcR]

Anything a man has to deny or hide from his wife is sin and is cheating.

Anything a man can do without conviction or guilt he should be able to discuss with his wife; and anything that causes his wife to be upset is something he ought not be doing for no other reason than that it upsets her.

My wife knows that she is at liberty to look over my shoulder or read on another computer anything I post or do online; and anything I am ashamed to show her and discuss with her; I have no business considering, much less doing.

 

[cmarieh]

Oh yes. I do agree it is a form of cheating, too. But would you not be more upset if he was cheating on you with another woman, though? Would you not be ever suspecting and distrustful of him if that was the case (Even after you reconciled later)? What about if he gave you a sexual disease? Also, the chances of him leaving is greater if he were to cheat on you with another woman, too. That is kind of why I am saying it is alot more serious of sin although both sins are extremely bad and destructive in their own ways.

Sorry that I didn't respond as quick I had to take care of a couple things. However, I would think I would be equally upset because I would have trusted him not to do either one and in both situations the trust would take time to be rebuilt. I am starting to understand where you are coming from on your end, but having him leave for another woman I think would be better than staying because if he stayed can you imagine the emotional anguish you would feel if you knew about it and there was no way out. I am by no means condoning divorce because I do not believe in it. Granted there are extenuating circumstances, but every marriage is worth fighting for.

 

[cmarieh]

Anything a man has to deny or hide from his wife is sin and is cheating.

Anything a man can do without conviction or guilt he should be able to discuss with his wife; and anything that causes his wife to be upset is something he ought not be doing for no other reason than that it upsets her.

My wife knows that she is at liberty to look over my shoulder or read on another computer anything I post or do online; and anything I am ashamed to show her and discuss with her; I have no business considering, much less doing.

I love this

 

[Jason0047]

Sorry that I didn't respond as quick I had to take care of a couple things. However, I would think I would be equally upset because I would have trusted him not to do either one and in both situations the trust would take time to be rebuilt. I am starting to understand where you are coming from on your end, but having him leave for another woman I think would be better than staying because if he stayed can you imagine the emotional anguish you would feel if you knew about it and there was no way out. I am by no means condoning divorce because I do not believe in it. Granted there are extenuating circumstances, but every marriage is worth fighting for.

Yes, I initially had that view concernng divorce, too. But when you meet that someone special, it may be too hard to imagine seeing them with someone else (after you have been with them a while and have devoloped a deep bond with them). At least that is how I feel. When a man has a moment of weakness on the internet, it is not like he is planning on leaving her spouse. The problem is more fixable. As mentioned before, many unbelieving couples use it wrongfully to spice up their sex life. Granted, this is wrong and evil. Porn is a device of the devil and it drags many to the pits of hell. But I see that there are alot more decisions involved in actively rebelling against the person you are suppose to love when you cheat on them with an actual flesh and blood human being. One is breaking the sacred vow of their marriage covenant when they have sex with another woman. For the two shall be joined together in marriage as one flesh.

 

[kennethcadwell]

As Kenneth pointed out there are many unbelieving sinful couples who are faithful to each other who use porn to spice up their sex life. Granted, this use of porn is still a sin and it is wrong. Now, I disagree with him that all porn is a form of cheating. Jesus said looking upon a woman in lust is commiting adultery with them in their heart. But if a couple is sinfully doing so together it is a sin that is a lot more mild (In it's form of cheating). It is more of a form of sinful fantasy that is inappropriate but it does not mean one is going to leave their wife because of it, though. That is kind of the point. The sin of porn is still very destructive and can even end relationships in some cases, but nowhere near the case of those who actually cheat on their spouse with another flesh and blood human being, though. That is stepping over the line. Breaking a covenant.

I never said that watching porn was not a form of adultery/sexual immorality, but what I did say is that the couple does not consider it cheating.

I did not say the bible does not consider it that way, as I said the couples look at it that way.
Which is why I said it is a case by case basis depending on how the people look upon it. By their way of looking at it as a couple who accepts it in their relationship, then they do not see it as cheating.

Please do not change my words to say what I didn't, as if you go by how the couples feel then in all cases it is not considered as cheating.

Look at couples who are swingers, they are living a sinful lifestyle by living this way, however they also do not look at sleeping with other couples as cheating. They openly accept this lifestyle as their way of life.

Once again it is not right and is sinful, but to them they don't consider it as cheating..............

 

[Sophia]

I don't really like the word "cheating" when applied to adultery.
I'm not sure why, I haven't put enough thought into it,
but it just doesn't seem to fit as the label of what really happens when a person goes outside of the bounds of marriage.
I don't think the Bible uses the word "cheating" the way we do modernly... and I think the idea that we have of "cheating" is actually a foreign concept to the Word of God.

I see two people living together, out of wedlock, as cheating. Cheating marriage.

Anyways, to the OP:
Yes, pornography is adultery. Jesus said that your eyes can make you guilty of adultery. Pretty much a done deal in my mind and conscience. Jesus said it. I believe it.

 

[Jason0047]

I don't really like the word "cheating" when applied to adultery.
I'm not sure why, I haven't put enough thought into it,
but it just doesn't seem to fit as the label of what really happens when a person goes outside of the bounds of marriage.
I don't think the Bible uses the word "cheating" the way we do modernly... and I think the idea that we have of "cheating" is actually a foreign concept to the Word of God.

I see two people living together, out of wedlock, as cheating. Cheating marriage.

Anyways, to the OP:
Yes, pornography is adultery. Jesus said that your eyes can make you guilty of adultery. Pretty much a done deal in my mind and conscience. Jesus said it. I believe it.

No, the word "adultery" is usually connected with "cheating" in the Bible.

KJV Search Results for "adultery"

 

[Stephen63]

There are men/women out there that would be scared to death to cheat on their spouse, but would look at porn any time. In my book, whatever makes it easier to sin is sin in & of itself.

 

[Jason0047]

Saying sin is bad is useless if folks condone a sin and still be saved doctrine, though. Or if folks say they will forever be a slave to their sin within their life. One cannot borrow morals to make a point if they make excuses to break those very morals as a part of their life. One truly seeks first the Kingdom of God and His rigtheousness for their life or they are not doing so.

 

[atwhatcost]

You might have heard this already, but Jesus said if a man looks upon a woman in lust, they have committed adultery already in their heart with her. So yes, it is a form of cheating. Granted, it is not as serious as say actually sleeping with that person, but it is still wrong, it is still a sin, and it is still considered adultery (and the type of sin that will cause someone not to inherit the Kingdom of God). For we have to guard our hearts and souls and keep ourselves pure if we want to truly follow Jesus.

How can we say it is cheating? Because is not giving that sacred moment that belongs to one's spouse to them alone. Sex is only supposed to be within the bounds of marriage or for your life partner. Venturing outside of that is a form of cheating (i.e. adultery).

Are you aware most women really do think it is just "as serious?"

Why do you think it's not as serious?

 

[Jason0047]

I never said that watching porn was not a form of adultery/sexual immorality, but what I did say is that the couple does not consider it cheating.

I did not say the bible does not consider it that way, as I said the couples look at it that way.
Which is why I said it is a case by case basis depending on how the people look upon it. By their way of looking at it as a couple who accepts it in their relationship, then they do not see it as cheating.

Please do not change my words to say what I didn't, as if you go by how the couples feel then in all cases it is not considered as cheating.

Look at couples who are swingers, they are living a sinful lifestyle by living this way, however they also do not look at sleeping with other couples as cheating. They openly accept this lifestyle as their way of life.

Once again it is not right and is sinful, but to them they don't consider it as cheating..............

Okay. Adultery is cheating. Sorry about the misunderstanding. I thought you were trying to say otherwise.

 

[atwhatcost]

Hi atwhatcost, Sin starts in the mind long before your hands carry it out. The more time you spend imagining sexual relations with people other than your spouse, the easier it will be to justify cheating on them. Avoid heading down this road. God bless you

“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.” (James 1:14-14 NKJV)

How? And, I'm not being smug. That's a real question.

The best I can do is let the bird (thought) pass through without nesting. The bird still passes through, and that passing through is cheating, according to Jesus, so, honestly, how?

 

[atwhatcost]

Jason, I agree with you on everything you have said, EXCEPT for stating that "it isn't as serious" I feel that it is just as bad if not worse because a lot of these people that are into porn has serious issues that are kept in the dark for so long that it comes out they are addicted, everything falls apart in their personal lives.

Then do you think it's not as serious if that doesn't happen? (I find this topic something we can all learn from, so I'm really trying to find what folks think.)

 

[kennethcadwell]

I don't really like the word "cheating" when applied to adultery.
I'm not sure why, I haven't put enough thought into it,
but it just doesn't seem to fit as the label of what really happens when a person goes outside of the bounds of marriage.
I don't think the Bible uses the word "cheating" the way we do modernly... and I think the idea that we have of "cheating" is actually a foreign concept to the Word of God.

I see two people living together, out of wedlock, as cheating. Cheating marriage.

Anyways, to the OP:
Yes, pornography is adultery. Jesus said that your eyes can make you guilty of adultery. Pretty much a done deal in my mind and conscience. Jesus said it. I believe it.

Having sexual relations before marriage is a sin, however did you know that the bible does not actually say people can not live together before marriage?

That was started by man and not what God said in the scriptures.
If a man and woman can live under the same roof and administer good self control to not have sex before they marry, then they are not sinning or living in a ungodly way.
The reason people made living together before marriage wrong is because it can lead to giving into temptation easier, and cause a person to stumble. Techniqually the bible does not condemn it though.

Another question must be answered is what is marriage?
It is a union between a man and woman put together by God, and it wasn't tell Moses that a certificate was issued for both marriage and divorce. Before there was no going before a judge or preacher to be pronounced man and wife, and then sign a certificate of proof.
We do now have that certificate by law, and that law does not contradict Gods, therefore in order to be legally married the marriage certificate/license needs to be done......