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Since I didn't get an answer to my last question, let me try again.
Purpose wasn't a purpose in the sense I asked. A purpose for a lesson plan is to tell what the students will learn. Your purpose isn't that. It's just what you want done. If this were a lesson plan it would sound sort of like: "Have the students learn to say the alphabet backward."
I can see where that would be fun, but it serves no purpose.
Enabling? So sin for a sin? If I don't like what someone did to me, I'll just tell everybody about it? Again, to what purpose?
You talk about how you don't like ignoring people and how do we do that at church? So, you don't ignore people at your church, but you talk about them a lot behind their backs (keeping anonymous of course, because who could possibly figure out who is being talked about?) and you start "venting sessions" to make people feel good about talking about people behind their backs? Please tell me that's not how you or your church deals with things like this.
But, this is what I'm seeing of this thread, and to some extent it's working. But seriously, is it good? What does it resolve? How does it exhort? Who is the focus? What is the purpose?
You charged me with venting on here. I remember doing that twice. I didn't have anyone else to turn to, and there was no one who could break through the red tape mess, so I vented. It wasn't a distinct person. It wasn't even a group of people, so yes, I vented.
Usually I don't vent. I encourage or discourage, given what purpose an action is for. If it's for God, I'll encourage. If it is not for God, I discourage. So far, I have yet to figure out how venting about others is FOR God. I'm still hoping you can enlighten me on that one.
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Phone rang three times when I wrote that. Apparently my credit card company wants to tell me about something, (without knowing I have no credit cards lol), the IRS is coming after me, (without knowing they aren't because I've done nothing wrong), and since I hung up so quickly, they had this need to call twice.
Now that's the kind of thing I like to vent about. lol
But looking at what I wrote after posting, it sounded harsher then it was supposed to be. Sorry about that.
I get where you are in life. I get it because I married a 33 year old guy who already learned lessons about the difference between what men like to do and what women need from their guy. Men always want to fix. Women sometimes just like to vent. It drives men nuts. I distinctly remember a couple of times venting at hubby and he gave me bad advice not knowing I was just venting. (I quit a very good job because I got angry at a boss for one thing he did. Doh! So he "fixed" because of my vent, but it wasn't a good vent. My next few jobs were terrible jobs. The one I quit was a great job. lol)
And that's venting in the right sphere of things. I'm not supposed to go around telling how mean my boss is to everyone. I'm supposed to be rational and try to fix the problem with the boss... or let it go, because, who knows? Maybe they got stupid phone calls right before they talked to me. OR, if I can't fix the problem with the boss, then I vent to hubby, who reminds me logical things, instead of tells me to go with my emotions. That's the purpose of a marriage, to counterbalance each other and let some venting go. BUT it's like a doctor-patient relationship, the conversation is never for public knowledge. It's the stuff kept quiet within a marriage.
THAT's the difference between what a husband/wife is supposed to do. (I've been his sounding board too.) And this! This is nothing but a good place to rag on others in their face without ever dealing with the issue.
And honestly? Sometimes it's not dealing with the issue as the answer to a problem. I've learned who doesn't listen. When I know someone won't ever listen, it's time to ignore. And someone coming to me to not ignore isn't going to stop me from ignoring. That person being willing to at least listen will. (Listen doesn't always mean agree.)
I've said that last part often enough. So, yes! Even when I went to church I ignored people. Politely, but, yes, ignored!
Now that's the kind of thing I like to vent about. lol
But looking at what I wrote after posting, it sounded harsher then it was supposed to be. Sorry about that.
I get where you are in life. I get it because I married a 33 year old guy who already learned lessons about the difference between what men like to do and what women need from their guy. Men always want to fix. Women sometimes just like to vent. It drives men nuts. I distinctly remember a couple of times venting at hubby and he gave me bad advice not knowing I was just venting. (I quit a very good job because I got angry at a boss for one thing he did. Doh! So he "fixed" because of my vent, but it wasn't a good vent. My next few jobs were terrible jobs. The one I quit was a great job. lol)
And that's venting in the right sphere of things. I'm not supposed to go around telling how mean my boss is to everyone. I'm supposed to be rational and try to fix the problem with the boss... or let it go, because, who knows? Maybe they got stupid phone calls right before they talked to me. OR, if I can't fix the problem with the boss, then I vent to hubby, who reminds me logical things, instead of tells me to go with my emotions. That's the purpose of a marriage, to counterbalance each other and let some venting go. BUT it's like a doctor-patient relationship, the conversation is never for public knowledge. It's the stuff kept quiet within a marriage.
THAT's the difference between what a husband/wife is supposed to do. (I've been his sounding board too.) And this! This is nothing but a good place to rag on others in their face without ever dealing with the issue.
And honestly? Sometimes it's not dealing with the issue as the answer to a problem. I've learned who doesn't listen. When I know someone won't ever listen, it's time to ignore. And someone coming to me to not ignore isn't going to stop me from ignoring. That person being willing to at least listen will. (Listen doesn't always mean agree.)
I've said that last part often enough. So, yes! Even when I went to church I ignored people. Politely, but, yes, ignored!
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As always, thanks for your response and continued support/encouragement!
My statement was a quick statement, I admit. Did not mean to imply that you vent in forums often -- just that you have done it.
Thinking about the latter part of what you said, before I respond.
PS- If this account disappears, I'll return and find you (all of you who remain).
My statement was a quick statement, I admit. Did not mean to imply that you vent in forums often -- just that you have done it.
Thinking about the latter part of what you said, before I respond.
PS- If this account disappears, I'll return and find you (all of you who remain).
A
Why have the account disappear? Honestly, I've considered leaving here often enough. Might still do it, but I might change my mind too. So why cancel an account, if I'm just coming back anyway? And why cancel and account if I do walk away and never return? I see no advantage to canceling an account either way. If I walk, I walk. If it's for a while, it's for a while. And if it's forever, it's that too. But, if it's not, at least people can figure out who this quiet person is, since she didn't talk for months and then came back.
(Oh, that's funny! Can you even imagine me quiet? I can't. lol)
(Oh, that's funny! Can you even imagine me quiet? I can't. lol)
I actually dont entirely understand the purpose of this thread, so I dont wanna say much. But, I will say, I generally dont mind this site that much, like I dont think its that bad 
I think my biggest concern that revolves around me is that sometimes my post come off as too preachy, as if I know better and am giving others the biz, haha I actually do want to hear from others and learn, even if I dont accept what they say. I have learned a huge freaking amount by throwing out what I used to think I knew and listening to others about the bible.
I always try to make it seem friendly and inviting, but then Ill look at my pasts posts sometime in the future and think "ewwww, I could have done that better"
I think my biggest concern that revolves around me is that sometimes my post come off as too preachy, as if I know better and am giving others the biz, haha
I actually do want to hear from others and learn, even if I dont accept what they say. I have learned a huge freaking amount by throwing out what I used to think I knew and listening to others about the bible.I always try to make it seem friendly and inviting, but then Ill look at my pasts posts sometime in the future and think "ewwww, I could have done that better"
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I actually dont entirely understand the purpose of this thread, so I dont wanna say much. But, I will say, I generally dont mind this site that much, like I dont think its that bad
I think my biggest concern that revolves around me is that sometimes my post come off as too preachy, as if I know better and am giving others the biz, haha I actually do want to hear from others and learn, even if I dont accept what they say. I have learned a huge freaking amount by throwing out what I used to think I knew and listening to others about the bible.
I always try to make it seem friendly and inviting, but then Ill look at my pasts posts sometime in the future and think "ewwww, I could have done that better"
I think my biggest concern that revolves around me is that sometimes my post come off as too preachy, as if I know better and am giving others the biz, haha
I actually do want to hear from others and learn, even if I dont accept what they say. I have learned a huge freaking amount by throwing out what I used to think I knew and listening to others about the bible.I always try to make it seem friendly and inviting, but then Ill look at my pasts posts sometime in the future and think "ewwww, I could have done that better"
I think you do a great job, Yeraza. I know what you mean about not wanting to sound 'preachy' -- sometimes, no matter how hard we try, our words are still misunderstood.
Hang in there, bro -- keep up the good works!
T
I do agree with this. I know PW has tried this, but with certain people his personal messages go ignored, his questions unanswered, and any "chance of clearing the air" and making things right again go unanswered. What do we do when people still try to accuse us on here even after a pm is sent and there is no response? Do we just ignore them and let them go on accusing and even to the point of them becoming untruthful? Anytime anything is said in rebutle to certain people in public (because they will not even try to set it straight in private) it is taken as harassment, and they continue with the accusations and do not even try to make things better. It is so frustrating to see this happen which is why PW and I are seriously considering leaving this forum. I don't want to as I have learned a lot and have found so much comfort here, but it is so hard to see past some of the hatred and arrogance.
This post is not directed to you, crossnote. I just quoted your post because I really wish that more people would do this, instead of continuing the hatred/slander to others in public. And i really don't know if i have skin thick enough to tolerate it I am an emotionally weak person, and i know i get my feelings hurt easily
This post is not directed to you, crossnote. I just quoted your post because I really wish that more people would do this, instead of continuing the hatred/slander to others in public. And i really don't know if i have skin thick enough to tolerate it
I am an emotionally weak person, and i know i get my feelings hurt easily
P
I do agree with this. I know PW has tried this, but with certain people his personal messages go ignored, his questions unanswered, and any "chance of clearing the air" and making things right again go unanswered. What do we do when people still try to accuse us on here even after a pm is sent and there is no response? Do we just ignore them and let them go on accusing and even to the point of them becoming untruthful? Anytime anything is said in rebutle to certain people in public (because they will not even try to set it straight in private) it is taken as harassment, and they continue with the accusations and do not even try to make things better. It is so frustrating to see this happen which is why PW and I are seriously considering leaving this forum. I don't want to as I have learned a lot and have found so much comfort here, but it is so hard to see past some of the hatred and arrogance.
This post is not directed to you, crossnote. I just quoted your post because I really wish that more people would do this, instead of continuing the hatred/slander to others in public. And i really don't know if i have skin thick enough to tolerate it I am an emotionally weak person, and i know i get my feelings hurt easily
This post is not directed to you, crossnote. I just quoted your post because I really wish that more people would do this, instead of continuing the hatred/slander to others in public. And i really don't know if i have skin thick enough to tolerate it
I am an emotionally weak person, and i know i get my feelings hurt easily
We'll see what happens.
I use to get frustrated with how rude some are but I have learned that people cannot give what isn't in them. I have said this several times on here, we are all at different points with our walk with God. If I cannot reason with a person, I move on. It's okay to agree to disagree. Noone is right ALL of the time and on every point. Also, everyone who posts may not be Christian so once someone shows me who they are I believe them.
There are certain areas of the forum where I excercise self control and I don't participate. I know what is for me and what isn't and it's okay not to comment on everything. If I have something to say or there is a verse or a scripture to share that is appropriate for the discussion at hand, I share it.
One plants, another waters and God will bring the increase.
If I see that a convo is going in a negative direction I'll just stop responding. Problem solved, I don't need to have the last word. Sometimes silence is the loudest voice. This is working for ME, it my not be the best course of action for another.
There are certain areas of the forum where I excercise self control and I don't participate. I know what is for me and what isn't and it's okay not to comment on everything. If I have something to say or there is a verse or a scripture to share that is appropriate for the discussion at hand, I share it.
One plants, another waters and God will bring the increase.
If I see that a convo is going in a negative direction I'll just stop responding. Problem solved, I don't need to have the last word. Sometimes silence is the loudest voice. This is working for ME, it my not be the best course of action for another.
I do agree with this. I know PW has tried this, but with certain people his personal messages go ignored, his questions unanswered, and any "chance of clearing the air" and making things right again go unanswered. What do we do when people still try to accuse us on here even after a pm is sent and there is no response? Do we just ignore them and let them go on accusing and even to the point of them becoming untruthful? Anytime anything is said in rebutle to certain people in public (because they will not even try to set it straight in private) it is taken as harassment, and they continue with the accusations and do not even try to make things better. It is so frustrating to see this happen which is why PW and I are seriously considering leaving this forum. I don't want to as I have learned a lot and have found so much comfort here, but it is so hard to see past some of the hatred and arrogance.
This post is not directed to you, crossnote. I just quoted your post because I really wish that more people would do this, instead of continuing the hatred/slander to others in public. And i really don't know if i have skin thick enough to tolerate it I am an emotionally weak person, and i know i get my feelings hurt easily
This post is not directed to you, crossnote. I just quoted your post because I really wish that more people would do this, instead of continuing the hatred/slander to others in public. And i really don't know if i have skin thick enough to tolerate it
I am an emotionally weak person, and i know i get my feelings hurt easily
You can fully entrust the matter to the Lord and let Him deal with the individual and/or notify the mods (I'm not sure how they handle such cases but if enough complaints...maybe).
The issue comes down to reflecting a good reputation to others. Believe me, after you have been here a while, others get to know you despite the trash another may say...only the trash thrower ends up looking bad.