There are people, God bless them, who have been healthy enough and fortunate enough to be free of disabilities, and work their whole lives for the things they have. They have a feeling of self-reliance, and think that everyone else just has that as well. I find that these people's understandings are often veiled by their experience. Or, they broke and leg or something and pressed through, went back to work, and can't understand why a disabled person can't push through. But that's not a disability, that's a temporary alignment. I've found that it is often (not always) the people who have not dealt with it that appeal to "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" the most, "sacrifice to make for yourself," and the like.
I will say that if people are tithing to their church, then THEY ARE giving to fellow parishioners in need. It's up to church authority to distribute those funds as they see fit. My experience is the smaller the church, the more say the people in the pews have. Less is more, in the Church caring for herself. People are more apt to sacrifice if they know the person personally, rather than someone who sits waaaaaaaay over there they never talk to. For churches to be more charitable to it's members, it's best, I think, that they be smaller and more personable.
That said, the general wisdom of Proverbs does agree with your idea that people should just push through or tragic things happen.
Proverbs:
12:11 He who tills his land will have plenty of bread, But he who pursues worthless things lacks sense.
14:23 In all labor there is profit,
But mere talk leads only to poverty.
12:24The hand of the diligent will rule,
But the slack hand will be put to forced labor.
My disorder is mental in nature. It is unique to most cases because I don't know WHEN I'm going to be sick... I can predict by the swing of my moods, but my disorder is unpredictable by nature. When I'm sick, that means in the hospital for two to four weeks (thus losing income and costing the employer with my absence), reworking my meds, etc. Esp in states that are not worker's rights, many employers don't want an employee they feel they can't depend on.
So it's hard to explain to people "You can depend on me, BUT my brain gets really messed up once in a while, and I WILL need that break from work to get to functioning normally again... I don't know when... maybe a year from now, maybe five years, but I work hard when I'm stable... Yes, I might be unreliable in the workplace if I'm unstable and it's not caught yet, but I really am very honest and I wouldn't do something misguided intentionally, but... oh, well, thank you for your time." My conscious tells me people have a right to know these things that affect my behavior, if I'm going to work for them.
Because this is reoccurring, without insurance it is financially crippling. Paying your bills means less money to buy good interview clothes, less money for bus fare or car maintenance, less money for work-related pursuits. Their working my hospital bill DOWN last year, put it at 17,000... plus ambulance, plus meds.
I went off disability in 2013, got married because everything was great, but now trying to get back on it and it's hard... because I'm married. My husband didn't make me disabled, he does not make a grand amount of money, and I had been getting assistance in and out of the hospital FOR YEARS... why should I be penalized for marrying him? THAT is what makes everyone mad. (One thing to talk about is WHY medical care costs so much to begin with... if people chewed on THAT, that would also make them very angry.)
If I didn't have insurance from 2005-2013 my hospital and other bills would have been, EASILY, over 100,000. That's probably a conservative guess. Couple this with the intimidation methods the hospital and creditors use to get paid, it is stressful... very much so.
So, with the unpredictable nature of my illness, and the bills that incur when it happens (which ruins your credit and bye bye future house, future car, future good deals if you have good credit) the idea of letting go of disability was VERY SCARY!
With disability folks, we're not just talking about a check for so many hundreds a month - we're talking about a slip of paper - Medicaid - that pays for your hospital bills, dang near covers it all, with maybe a small co-pay. Meds are included. Birth control. Annual check-ups. It's quite comprehensive but out of pocket, these things will add up, and crushingly so.
That's one reason why young adults are being pressured to buy insurance - one trip to the hospital, at the wrong time in your financial journey, can put you in a hole you'll never climb out of. This is my first hospitable bill being demanded out of pocket. I have Medicaid pending, however bankruptcy is highly possible, and this is ONE TIME. Had I disability, I wouldn't be looking at this mess.
Now just imagine someone with a more severe disability in quantity... that must go to check ups routinely (I go to a doctor routinely now, myself... I have to for my stability), and who must administer some sort of treatment to themselves regularly, who must not lift more than 20-30 pounds (required by most service work jobs, like food and retail).
You can see why letting go of disability, for many a form of insurance, can be very scary. Cripples your credit, then you are crippled in what you can buy later. Bankruptcy never looks good on a financial report, either, and that stays with you AT LEAST seven years.
People are "shacking up" not because they're materialistic. That may be part of it. Maybe you would call an ease of owning a small home one day materialistic. That's up to you. But as someone who is LIVING THE CONSEQUENCES OF LETTING IT GO, so that I can be approved in the eyes of men and the Church, I am suffering for it, in ways more abstract than not eating and not having a place to live. My husband and I both suffer for it in little numbers, on a little piece of paper at the bank that cripples our opportunities TOGETHER, our happiness TOGETHER, which is supposedly one of the perks of getting married, and living life to the fullest TOGETHER.
The principle of the matter is one thing - well, you just suffer to be right with God and that's what you should do. Well, I'm doing it - I obeyed my conscious and all I can do is show you and everyone else why I don't judge those people anymore, esp from experience and personal meditation on the Creation story and Jesus' words about divorce.
Like Cinder is pointing out with the social construct, that I agree with in part, the "requirements" of marriage is OUR creation, not God's. At the end of the day, people with disabilities have to decide what costs more, counting the costs: the judgement of those in the Church for not marrying, or their credit, what they can pay for (as many are just scraping by with the benefits they do have) or pursuit of happiness or their conscious before God. I say if they are not convicted to get married, but want to make a life together, that is between them and God, and I venture not to judge because I PERSONALLY understand the reasons they would do it.
