My family are pushing me too hard

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May 26, 2016
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Doing what you want isn't a good thing if it goes against what God wants. Even doing what your parents want should not go against what God wants.

I have heard of parents who sell their children into lives of prostitution or slavery, which I think is against God.

Thank God you have been blessed with parents who want good things for you and encourage you to follow God and not see you as a possesion to be exploited and used for their own desires.
No but it happens a lot. I got out of the house with 19. Never did anything weird, but I wasn't raised like that. My dad was quite controlling, but he encouraged me to go to disco's and find a guy and have sex before marriage. Didn't want to. I found God. Although it would have been much better to be raised christian, if I see some extreme controlling christian parents I'm sure glad my dad was atheist.
 
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perlcookwriter

Guest
I am genuinely sorry, not just for being caught, I promise.

I just had another long talk with my Mum cos I got in trouble again (being disrespectful and moody not BIG trouble, and by that I don't mean I wasn't naughty but just that I did not really mess up as bad as before).

She says the changes in my life are not a punishment, they are my new life, and that I will grow into it. We prayed together which was sort of nice, and had a good talk afterwards. I've asked her for advice and she says she is giving me the path to follow and now I have to learn how to walk on it. Which I am trying to understand.

I still feel bad, I still think some of its unfair, but I am trying I promise.
I think that's really nice, Fran. Just like we thought, it's not a punishment. It's all lining up now.

I know all about being given a path to follow. My parents set me up for life, practically. It's really cool actually, because although I don't have as many privileges as other girls my age I don't have any worries about messing up and ruining my life if I just go with the flow. It's awesome having parents who care for you.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
No but it happens a lot. I got out of the house with 19. Never did anything weird, but I wasn't raised like that. My dad was quite controlling, but he encouraged me to go to disco's and find a guy and have sex before marriage. Didn't want to. I found God. Although it would have been much better to be raised christian, if I see some extreme controlling christian parents I'm sure glad my dad was atheist.
I was going to ask why encourage sex with strange men....but why be an atheist points to the bigger issue with your dad...
 
May 26, 2016
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I was going to ask why encourage sex with strange men....but why be an atheist points to the bigger issue with your dad...
Not with strange men but just one guy. That's just totally normal here, since there aren't many christians in this country and even if they're 'christian' it's considered normal. We have these extreme christian schools where girls must wear a long skirt and such. What happens there is far worse than in unchristian schools. One couple from church took their son from a normal school and put him in an evangelical school to protect him. They learned to smoke pot there. It's worse than a public unchristian school, because they only may do nothing because their parents forbid it, yet they don't know God personally. Now that one guy does, but he used pot there, his brother sold it. I prayed for them for inner healing. That mother was extreme. We even took them on a holiday with us just to relax and have fun and no demands. Corrie ten Boom took such kids in her house. One got beaten by her mom and was very rebellious. They just acted like they didn't notice when she slammed on the doors and she became very sweet, later became a missionary.
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
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It's good that you're genuinely sorry, and it is also good that you and mum talked and got some stuff cleared out. However, being disrespectful to her will get you nowhere at all. She's right, you WILL get used to this new path. It's alot better than the path you were on before. We all have to go through situations we don't like, but we all come through it even stronger for having gone through it. :)
I wasn't disrespectful to Mum. It was my sister.
 
May 26, 2016
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I wasn't disrespectful to Mum. It was my sister.
She should tell your sister to shut up. My oldest one liked to play the dad for his brothers. Told him to shut up, you're not their dad, none of your business.
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
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She should tell your sister to shut up. My oldest one liked to play the dad for his brothers. Told him to shut up, you're not their dad, none of your business.
I wish she would but she won't. My sister is my jailer when Mum isn't there.
 
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perlcookwriter

Guest
I completely disagree. If Fran didn't have a sister she would have a babysitter. Even if she doesn't need to be babysit no fourteen year old should be home alone and her mother certainly doesn't want her running off to some strange party again. It's only sense.

In my family we all had to respect our older siblings. With age comes wisdom, and privilege and responsibility. It is the ONLY way you can keep a family together.

Messy you're not married. Probly don't have kids and weren't even raised under ideal circumstances. NOTHING you have been saying makes sense to me. I have a habit of coming off blunt and I'm sorry for it, and I'm sorry for having to disrespect you. I just hope you will take in sincerely and back off - or get another opinion, as I like to say.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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I completely disagree. If Fran didn't have a sister she would have a babysitter. Even if she doesn't need to be babysit no fourteen year old should be home alone and her mother certainly doesn't want her running off to some strange party again. It's only sense.

In my family we all had to respect our older siblings. With age comes wisdom, and privilege and responsibility. It is the ONLY way you can keep a family together.

Messy you're not married. Probly don't have kids and weren't even raised under ideal circumstances. NOTHING you have been saying makes sense to me. I have a habit of coming off blunt and I'm sorry for it, and I'm sorry for having to disrespect you. I just hope you will take in sincerely and back off - or get another opinion, as I like to say.

Messy actually has 2 or 3 kids. But she's from Holland or somewhere, where they probably do things differently than us Americans do. :) Anyhoo, MY parents left me home alone when I was 14, and even a few years younger than that. Difference is, I never tried taking off to go anywhere. I was content to put on my Cyndi Lauper music, crank it up loud and dance around the house like a fool. lol
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
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Mum wouldn't leave me alone. I do have a babysitter sometimes.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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Fran, it doesn't matter if it was your mum or your sister who you were disrespectful to. It's still disrespect. If you want others to respect you, then you need to respect them. Keep in mind, respect is EARNED, not just given freely.
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
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I do try but Maddie is so bossy. I have to do everything she says and she expects toop much.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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I do try but Maddie is so bossy. I have to do everything she says and she expects toop much.
Your mum is in control. Maddie needs an attitude check, and she needs to respect your mum too. She is your sister, not your boss or your jailer. She needs to let mum make the decisions. It's best to just obey mum, and ignore your sister..
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
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Your mum is in control. Maddie needs an attitude check, and she needs to respect your mum too. She is your sister, not your boss or your jailer. She needs to let mum make the decisions. It's best to just obey mum, and ignore your sister..
She is quite hard to ignore and Mum takes her side. I am a kid, she is an adult.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
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She is quite hard to ignore and Mum takes her side. I am a kid, she is an adult.

How old is Maddie? If she's under 18, technically she's still a kid also. Sounds like mum is playing favorites. :(
 
May 26, 2016
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I completely disagree. If Fran didn't have a sister she would have a babysitter. Even if she doesn't need to be babysit no fourteen year old should be home alone and her mother certainly doesn't want her running off to some strange party again. It's only sense.

In my family we all had to respect our older siblings. With age comes wisdom, and privilege and responsibility. It is the ONLY way you can keep a family together.

Messy you're not married. Probly don't have kids and weren't even raised under ideal circumstances. NOTHING you have been saying makes sense to me. I have a habit of coming off blunt and I'm sorry for it, and I'm sorry for having to disrespect you. I just hope you will take in sincerely and back off - or get another opinion, as I like to say.
Lol tell me to back off.
She's from England, not American. If you Americans want to do things your way I don't care. This works great. Look at Corrie ten Boom. No control of siblings or parents whatsoever and christian. It's not the only way. My sister was 10 years older. She never bossed me around.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
Lol tell me to back off.
She's from England, not American. If you Americans want to do things your way I don't care. This works great. Look at Corrie ten Boom. No control of siblings or parents whatsoever and christian. It's not the only way. My sister was 10 years older. She never bossed me around.

Not about the America way though,its about the Biblical way. Bible says to respect parents and your life will be long.
 
May 26, 2016
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Not about the America way though,its about the Biblical way. Bible says to respect parents and your life will be long.
Yes that's good. I don't say she should disrespect them. Control is always wrong though and favoritism of other kids.
 
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perlcookwriter

Guest
None of us know enough about the situation to make that kind of an assessment - whether or not her sister is actually "bossy" and whether or not her mother is actually picking "favorites".

The Bible says to obey your parents. If her mother says to obey her sister then that is also something that should be obeyed.

Agreed?
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
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Maddie is almost 20 and training to be a teacher (religious studies).