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K
Thanks guys for clearing up haveing oral sex BEFORE marriage, but do you really think it's wrong to do it once youre married?
I agree with leeannabanana with what she said about:
" Concerning after marriage, why would God want to deprive a married couple of any type of intimacy that they would want to do together?"
I agree with leeannabanana with what she said about:
" Concerning after marriage, why would God want to deprive a married couple of any type of intimacy that they would want to do together?"
idk im not married but one as a woman why would you cheapin yourself even after marriage and have oral sex... and that man out of love should'nt want you to do that God made us in a way and we know how we should do it, are mouth's were meant for eating, speaking, breathing...
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yes i agree, but i also think that ppl use the excuse that the bible doesnt say in exact words that something is wrong that's just an excuse, God puts in us the Holy spirit and an awareness in our hearts of what we should and shouldnt do with are bodies which are bodies is also known as the temple of God. and along with that we should also practice self control
V
One problem with your thoughts- This stuff isn't new.
The Bible goes into detail about all sorts of things that we would probably never even THINK of, and says not to do it. Having sex with animals, for example. Why wouldn't God also throw in a few things that were probably actually being practices, such as different forms of sex and masturbation, and declare those wrong, too? There's no reason for Him NOT to, unless it's not really wrong.
But I have always wondered- what's the appeal in it anyway? I see the appeal for the guy, but what does the girl get out of it? If this question is inappropriate, feel free to ignore it, but I'm honestly curious 0_o
The Bible goes into detail about all sorts of things that we would probably never even THINK of, and says not to do it. Having sex with animals, for example. Why wouldn't God also throw in a few things that were probably actually being practices, such as different forms of sex and masturbation, and declare those wrong, too? There's no reason for Him NOT to, unless it's not really wrong.
But I have always wondered- what's the appeal in it anyway? I see the appeal for the guy, but what does the girl get out of it? If this question is inappropriate, feel free to ignore it, but I'm honestly curious 0_o
yes but there is also alot things we dont understand but when we are born again in Christ, God makes it very clear to us, its not about the other person, its about your relationship with Christ and your walk with the Lord and i do believe that God does care about what we do with our bodies, and self control is iin the bible and i think that things like oral sex and masterbation and something that tempts us and is not of self control but of lust.. idk if anyone sees it like me but i know we are all tempted and even for the married couple it is said in 1 cor 7:1-9 make it clear he doesnt say the word what kind of it is sex or the word sex by itself.
M
Often see people saying that, 'why wasn't it mentioned in the bible specifically if it's wrong to do?', it's arguably the most common counter argument made by non-christians, and I personally find it an odd question because it has always seemed obvious to me that therein lies the challenge for humanity.
Yes the bible instructs us to behave to correctly in ways we wouldn't think about, in ways not immediately obvious or important and it curiously ommits direction on things more present in our lives, things like masturbation and oral sex.
My view is that we are supposed to work that out for ourselves, we are given direction in the bible in less obvious ways because life is a challenge and things need to be earned and if these questions were answered in the bible then what would be the point in learning about it, in attending a bible study and debating interpretations?
Oral sex and masturbation are both tough to resolve within the context of marriage because there is no specificity in the bible, I don't quite know what I think about it because it hasn't yet become an issue in my life, that said I wouldn't immediately assume they are completely wrong.
I will say the website someone linked too advocating anal sex before marriage is a good example of how people take the bible's silence on an issue as a way to go crazy with the bad behaviour while allowing for the total shedding of guilt, those arguments were simply crazy and not a good advert at all.
Yes the bible instructs us to behave to correctly in ways we wouldn't think about, in ways not immediately obvious or important and it curiously ommits direction on things more present in our lives, things like masturbation and oral sex.
My view is that we are supposed to work that out for ourselves, we are given direction in the bible in less obvious ways because life is a challenge and things need to be earned and if these questions were answered in the bible then what would be the point in learning about it, in attending a bible study and debating interpretations?
Oral sex and masturbation are both tough to resolve within the context of marriage because there is no specificity in the bible, I don't quite know what I think about it because it hasn't yet become an issue in my life, that said I wouldn't immediately assume they are completely wrong.
I will say the website someone linked too advocating anal sex before marriage is a good example of how people take the bible's silence on an issue as a way to go crazy with the bad behaviour while allowing for the total shedding of guilt, those arguments were simply crazy and not a good advert at all.
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S
What a man and his wife do behind closed doors is no one's business. Everything else outside of marriage is wrong. I don't understand why these topics get chewed to death in a public forum for every 12 or 10 year old to see. (or even younger if mom and dad aren't watching)
If it feels wrong, it is wrong. (regardless of the lack of bible references) The Spirit will always tell us what is right and wrong.
If it feels wrong, it is wrong. (regardless of the lack of bible references) The Spirit will always tell us what is right and wrong.
S
For what it's worth, this site is for 13 and older. Under 13 cannot register. And this particular forum is specifically for "Young Adults".
Also as parents you/I are ultimately responsible for what we allow our children to do/view online.
But anyway amen to your first two sentences.
Also as parents you/I are ultimately responsible for what we allow our children to do/view online.
But anyway amen to your first two sentences.
(woops! mybad) i guess i should stay out of the Young Adults section then... far too graphic for me anyways, and i shall continue to cover my 16 year-olds eyes
*opinion.. no one knows the facts for sure*
Firstly, to address the original idea, I believe that if you want to go by what God says and live your life in such a way.. then.. yes.. it is sex.. and sex should not be before marriage if this is your belief. However, it's ultimately your call. It's there to ensure a good life for you and your potential spouse. To make sure there's not a child born into a broken home, that the couple will last through thick and thin, and it shows how much the person loves you and will fight for you when they're willing to wait from the beginning. It's not there to dictate you.. It's there as a general forewarning. Heeding this is purely optional. Use your own judgment. You're a big person and old enough to make choices obviously. Common sense says don't have a baby with someone you met last night. That's what sex is meant for.. reproduction and emotionally bonding- the other stuff is just a bonus, really..
I think any form of sex is fine.. Doesn't matter when, where, why, how, what, etc. All that matters is WHO.. Sure, there's only one place to reproduce from, but that's only half of what sex is about. Do what you makes you and your partner happy- what shows love. For some people love may be making breakfast while their partner lays in bed relaxing, to others it could be different forms of sex. Every one is different. You cannot listen to biased opinions. You must formulate your own.
Do you seriously believe you'll be a sinner if you give or receive oral? Honestly?
To some it may be gross.. To some it may be something they enjoy.. To some it may be all they can do..
Anyone who says it's nasty or disgusting is merely giving you a single opinion.. and who knows what that opinion was based on or how it was formulated.
Just think with your head(not your heart) before entering into something you deem this serious. The fact you ask already shows where your heart is.. therefore it's clouded in it's judgment.. Step back and think about everything that this, or anything you do this serious, will entail.
You're an adult. Common sense and good judgment is what it's all about now. No one can tell you what you do or do not believe.
Firstly, to address the original idea, I believe that if you want to go by what God says and live your life in such a way.. then.. yes.. it is sex.. and sex should not be before marriage if this is your belief. However, it's ultimately your call. It's there to ensure a good life for you and your potential spouse. To make sure there's not a child born into a broken home, that the couple will last through thick and thin, and it shows how much the person loves you and will fight for you when they're willing to wait from the beginning. It's not there to dictate you.. It's there as a general forewarning. Heeding this is purely optional. Use your own judgment. You're a big person and old enough to make choices obviously. Common sense says don't have a baby with someone you met last night. That's what sex is meant for.. reproduction and emotionally bonding- the other stuff is just a bonus, really..
I think any form of sex is fine.. Doesn't matter when, where, why, how, what, etc. All that matters is WHO.. Sure, there's only one place to reproduce from, but that's only half of what sex is about. Do what you makes you and your partner happy- what shows love. For some people love may be making breakfast while their partner lays in bed relaxing, to others it could be different forms of sex. Every one is different. You cannot listen to biased opinions. You must formulate your own.
Do you seriously believe you'll be a sinner if you give or receive oral? Honestly?
To some it may be gross.. To some it may be something they enjoy.. To some it may be all they can do..
Anyone who says it's nasty or disgusting is merely giving you a single opinion.. and who knows what that opinion was based on or how it was formulated.
Just think with your head(not your heart) before entering into something you deem this serious. The fact you ask already shows where your heart is.. therefore it's clouded in it's judgment.. Step back and think about everything that this, or anything you do this serious, will entail.
You're an adult. Common sense and good judgment is what it's all about now. No one can tell you what you do or do not believe.
I
Okay, I've read over this thread a few times, and I think it's time I gave my two cents worth.
I see a lot of negativity and guilt being portrayed in the responses given here, and I find it somewhat amusing that the people who are giving the strongest opinions and claiming they know all the answers are those who aren't even married!
That being said, I'd like to present an opinion from he perspective of not only a Moderator here, but a woman of God and also a WIFE!!!
I agree with the earlier statement made by Silverwind 'What a man and his WIFE do behind closed doors is their own business'.
The thing we gotta remember is ANY kind of sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong! Whether it's oral, anal, intercourse, touching.. whatever.. if you're not married, keep your hands OFF and your clothes ON!
I think the problem is the way we all view sex in todays society, sure the world has this twisted, perverted view of sex, but why are we, as Christians getting it wrong too?
The bible is very clear on sex and the way in which God intended for it to be used. It is not taboo, or sinful. God designed sex, He wants us to enjoy it, BUT ONLY within the realms of marriage. What is right, or enjoyable for one couple may not be for another. There isn't anywhere in the bible that specfies God only wants us to have sex for the purpose of procreation. He never said, you must only be intimate to bear forth children, you must not use any form of protection, you must never engage in oral sex...do you see that anywhere in the bible? NO!!!
He wants to make sure we get it right, by not having sex before we're married, but once we're married He wants us to enjoy it for all it's worth. For some people that will mean an entirely different thing than for others, and you know what? That's okay!!
If I can be really candid and honest here, you gotta spice it up a little. The key to having great sex is to discover what your spouse REALLY LIKES! God doesn't want us to have boring/ restrictive intimate lives. Sex is an essential part of a healthy marriage, you gotta get it right! I'm not saying it's THE most important thing, but it's definitely important. It shouldn't be considered a 'side issue'. Trust me, if you can get that part of your marriage right, and learn to place value in the importance of sex in the relationship, you're gonna avoid a LOT of common mistakes people make. You can save yourself from frustration!
Guys and girls are wired differently, now IN GENERAL (and I say that because I acknowledge it's not ALWAYS the case) guys are usually more interested in sex than girls. Girls need to understand WHY guys are like that, and learn what to do to make it work. Sometimes that will mean trying new things, or exploring different ideas. Let's be honest, sex is GREAT, if you get it right. I'm not ashamed to say that, I love my husband, and I love sex. I have had this conversation with numerous people, and everyone's opinions vary slightly on what is/isn't considered acceptable. I just think you gotta do whatever works for you as a couple.
There are some great books/DVDs/ resources available on these very topics written by Christians from Christian perspectives. I highly recommend these!
I've kinda gone off topic here, but I guess the main point is, it's OKAY to enjoy sex if you're married (we were designed that way- God gave us our sex drives), it's okay if you like oral sex, it's okay if you don't. But let's try not to put words into God's mouth, or impose our opinion on others. There is nowhere in the bible that considers 'oral sex' as immorality, and I don't think it's healthy to portray this as being so!
I hope that helps!
I see a lot of negativity and guilt being portrayed in the responses given here, and I find it somewhat amusing that the people who are giving the strongest opinions and claiming they know all the answers are those who aren't even married!
That being said, I'd like to present an opinion from he perspective of not only a Moderator here, but a woman of God and also a WIFE!!!
I agree with the earlier statement made by Silverwind 'What a man and his WIFE do behind closed doors is their own business'.
The thing we gotta remember is ANY kind of sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong! Whether it's oral, anal, intercourse, touching.. whatever.. if you're not married, keep your hands OFF and your clothes ON!
I think the problem is the way we all view sex in todays society, sure the world has this twisted, perverted view of sex, but why are we, as Christians getting it wrong too?
The bible is very clear on sex and the way in which God intended for it to be used. It is not taboo, or sinful. God designed sex, He wants us to enjoy it, BUT ONLY within the realms of marriage. What is right, or enjoyable for one couple may not be for another. There isn't anywhere in the bible that specfies God only wants us to have sex for the purpose of procreation. He never said, you must only be intimate to bear forth children, you must not use any form of protection, you must never engage in oral sex...do you see that anywhere in the bible? NO!!!
He wants to make sure we get it right, by not having sex before we're married, but once we're married He wants us to enjoy it for all it's worth. For some people that will mean an entirely different thing than for others, and you know what? That's okay!!
If I can be really candid and honest here, you gotta spice it up a little. The key to having great sex is to discover what your spouse REALLY LIKES! God doesn't want us to have boring/ restrictive intimate lives. Sex is an essential part of a healthy marriage, you gotta get it right! I'm not saying it's THE most important thing, but it's definitely important. It shouldn't be considered a 'side issue'. Trust me, if you can get that part of your marriage right, and learn to place value in the importance of sex in the relationship, you're gonna avoid a LOT of common mistakes people make. You can save yourself from frustration!
Guys and girls are wired differently, now IN GENERAL (and I say that because I acknowledge it's not ALWAYS the case) guys are usually more interested in sex than girls. Girls need to understand WHY guys are like that, and learn what to do to make it work. Sometimes that will mean trying new things, or exploring different ideas. Let's be honest, sex is GREAT, if you get it right. I'm not ashamed to say that, I love my husband, and I love sex. I have had this conversation with numerous people, and everyone's opinions vary slightly on what is/isn't considered acceptable. I just think you gotta do whatever works for you as a couple.
There are some great books/DVDs/ resources available on these very topics written by Christians from Christian perspectives. I highly recommend these!
I've kinda gone off topic here, but I guess the main point is, it's OKAY to enjoy sex if you're married (we were designed that way- God gave us our sex drives), it's okay if you like oral sex, it's okay if you don't. But let's try not to put words into God's mouth, or impose our opinion on others. There is nowhere in the bible that considers 'oral sex' as immorality, and I don't think it's healthy to portray this as being so!
I hope that helps!