Married and lonely

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
May 18, 2017
510
2
0
It only takes one bad woman to muck up a man, check out Jezebel
Jezebel types do not honor marriage (Mark 6:17, 18). John the Baptist was hated for saying so (Matt. 14:3–12). Nothing new under the sun (Eccl 10:2, Jn 10:10).
 

J7

Banned
Apr 2, 2017
1,915
13
0
Yes, sex in marriage is honourable.

Are you saying Leone's wife is a Jezebel?
 

J7

Banned
Apr 2, 2017
1,915
13
0
Jesus did not like divorce, although it is sanctioned in Mosaic Law, because you force your partner to commit adultery.

Either Leone's wife is defrauding him the marriage bed, or she simply does not like sex.

If it is the latter, then Leone can divorce her without sinning, because she will not have sex with anyone else, so therefore he has not caused her to commit adultery.
 

J7

Banned
Apr 2, 2017
1,915
13
0
If Leone is a bishop, he is only allowed one wife. Otherwise he can take several, the Bible implicitly says so:

1 Timothy 3: 2
A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife,
 

J7

Banned
Apr 2, 2017
1,915
13
0
Jezebel types do not honor marriage (Mark 6:17, 18). John the Baptist was hated for saying so (Matt. 14:3–12). Nothing new under the sun (Eccl 10:2, Jn 10:10).
What are Jezebel types anyhow? Jezebel remained married to Ahab. Your logic is false.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
Question for you. What if you succumb to the charms of a one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater?

You won't do that because you're already married? Yeah, I get that.

So why don't you get this is one man with a real struggle instead a post-whatever-comes-to-your-mind thread?
The problem is that this isn't one man with a real struggle. It is a lot of men who are married to women who would rather be on Facebook than make sure their husbands are sexually satisfied. I understand what the Bible states about it. The point is there are many women who just don't care what the Bible says about it, my wife being one of them, I had a choice and continue to make this choice: love my wife, serve my family, and be part of their lives, yet otherwise unsatisfied in every aspect of being a husband, or leave, devastate my family and everyone can be miserable. I have decided to bury EVERY fleshy desire, in an effort not to dwell on the fact that this life will be void of anything personally fulfilling. The side effect of this decision has been spiritually invigorating. Ignoring the flesh has broadened my understanding of scripture. I am free because I don't serve the flesh.
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
What are Jezebel types anyhow? Jezebel remained married to Ahab. Your logic is false.
J7 this is why we have a God. When things get broken or need mending.
God has formed the institute of marriage so we go to him to ask for help. We are to encourage that action.
The bible is not a manual we pick and choose a result we need in our life.
Both hubby and wife need to step up in this matter because they are one.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
2,947
113
The problem is that this isn't one man with a real struggle. It is a lot of men who are married to women who would rather be on Facebook than make sure their husbands are sexually satisfied. I understand what the Bible states about it. The point is there are many women who just don't care what the Bible says about it, my wife being one of them, I had a choice and continue to make this choice: love my wife, serve my family, and be part of their lives, yet otherwise unsatisfied in every aspect of being a husband, or leave, devastate my family and everyone can be miserable. I have decided to bury EVERY fleshy desire, in an effort not to dwell on the fact that this life will be void of anything personally fulfilling. The side effect of this decision has been spiritually invigorating. Ignoring the flesh has broadened my understanding of scripture. I am free because I don't serve the flesh.
I was just wondering how many men need to make sure their wives are sexually satisfied? I keep reading these posts here about wives not wanting or liking sex. I have to think the problem is the man. Probably only taking care of his own needs, and never giving a thought to whether their wives are "sexually satisfied." And I am talking about during love making, men having no clue about how to stimulate their wives so they enjoy sex. After so many years of unfulfilling marital relations, how many women are just tired of "faking" it?

I guess some of these men are reaping what they have sown. Sexual intimacy needs to be both partners caring for each other's needs. If you think I am wrong, please ponder what I have said a bit, before you blame the wife, call her names, when it may be the problem lies with the husband!
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
I was just wondering how many men need to make sure their wives are sexually satisfied? I keep reading these posts here about wives not wanting or liking sex. I have to think the problem is the man. Probably only taking care of his own needs, and never giving a thought to whether their wives are "sexually satisfied." And I am talking about during love making, men having no clue about how to stimulate their wives so they enjoy sex. After so many years of unfulfilling marital relations, how many women are just tired of "faking" it?

I guess some of these men are reaping what they have sown. Sexual intimacy needs to be both partners caring for each other's needs. If you think I am wrong, please ponder what I have said a bit, before you blame the wife, call her names, when it may be the problem lies with the husband!
I'm not surprised this came up but in my case she always gets more "satisfaction" than me. It's not an enjoyment thing, it's a don't care about anybody but myself thing.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
What is your solution KG?
My solution is making sure there are no medical issues first. Then secondly,being brutally honest and saying "we need to go to counseling". If she absolutely refuses he needs to go alone and see if there is a way the situation can be resolved. If you think one wife can be a headache,add two,more trouble then any man needs.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
The problem is that this isn't one man with a real struggle. It is a lot of men who are married to women who would rather be on Facebook than make sure their husbands are sexually satisfied. I understand what the Bible states about it. The point is there are many women who just don't care what the Bible says about it, my wife being one of them, I had a choice and continue to make this choice: love my wife, serve my family, and be part of their lives, yet otherwise unsatisfied in every aspect of being a husband, or leave, devastate my family and everyone can be miserable. I have decided to bury EVERY fleshy desire, in an effort not to dwell on the fact that this life will be void of anything personally fulfilling. The side effect of this decision has been spiritually invigorating. Ignoring the flesh has broadened my understanding of scripture. I am free because I don't serve the flesh.
Im glad you found a solution for your situation. Im going to go on the record though,your wife is in the wrong from what you are sharing. Im online but my husband suffers for nothing. He cares less what I do with my free time because he has no complains. Food of otherwise,without getting too nasty. And if I didn't want that then I would have stayed single.I like making him happy and he does the same for me. And we married considerably old in age to most people. Nothing,other than God,ought to come before your spouse. You shouldn't have to push down your desires and your wife is in the wrong if she is unwilling to be intimate.

Of course another issue is what Christian women may have been taught about sex that skews their view. That certain things are off limits. Not going too deep into the weeds here but you get my drift.I always remember the women in my family trying to hide lingerie their husbands bought them for Christmas. Now I know thats not something you want to parade in front of the family,but it was almost something they were embarrassed of,like it was something nasty or wrong. Just sayin, some women have an issue in that area.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
I'm not surprised this came up but in my case she always gets more "satisfaction" than me. It's not an enjoyment thing, it's a don't care about anybody but myself thing.

If you dont mind saying,was it always an issue or it became an issue?
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
At one time pretty steamy. Couldn't keep our hands off eachother. I think kids made her "crazy". I don't know if its stress, hormones or both. We used to have more in common. She used to be nicer.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
At one time pretty steamy. Couldn't keep our hands off eachother. I think kids made her "crazy". I don't know if its stress, hormones or both. We used to have more in common. She used to be nicer.

Well I dont have kids but I know when I have my nephews for a week,and they are great kids,Im exhausted for a week after. So Id say stress could be a big part and possibly hormones.I assume you'd talked the situation over? No room for compromise?
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
2,947
113
I'm not surprised this came up but in my case she always gets more "satisfaction" than me. It's not an enjoyment thing, it's a don't care about anybody but myself thing.

I wasn't just addressing you, although it may seem that way from the "reply with quotes." In fact, I should have mentioned I was also addressing the OP and other threads I have read here lately. I was bold because it was a theme I keep seeing repeated in this forum.

So if the shoe fits, wear it! If not...
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
Well I dont have kids but I know when I have my nephews for a week,and they are great kids,Im exhausted for a week after. So Id say stress could be a big part and possibly hormones.I assume you'd talked the situation over? No room for compromise?
No need for compromise, I can't explain it but seriously, ignoring the flesh and abandoning my will, surrendering all to God has really caused an awaking in my spirit walk. It's like the Scriptures are being taught to me by God. It's as though there is a connection when you just don't care if you live or die, that's when the Holy Spirit is stongest in you.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
The problem is that this isn't one man with a real struggle. It is a lot of men who are married to women who would rather be on Facebook than make sure their husbands are sexually satisfied. I understand what the Bible states about it. The point is there are many women who just don't care what the Bible says about it, my wife being one of them, I had a choice and continue to make this choice: love my wife, serve my family, and be part of their lives, yet otherwise unsatisfied in every aspect of being a husband, or leave, devastate my family and everyone can be miserable. I have decided to bury EVERY fleshy desire, in an effort not to dwell on the fact that this life will be void of anything personally fulfilling. The side effect of this decision has been spiritually invigorating. Ignoring the flesh has broadened my understanding of scripture. I am free because I don't serve the flesh.
No, the problem isn't a lot of men. If it is a lot of men, then let those dudes start their own thread. This is one man who wants help. That is clear to everyone here except you. That means clarity isn't the issue -- you are. Go start a hypothetical post somewhere else. Especially because your idea of reality equals my teddy bear's idea of reality in so many ways.
 
Dec 3, 2016
1,674
25
0
Otherwise he can take several (wives)
That's a lie... under the New Covenant there is no authorization to have a concubine or to get divorced and remarry while your original spouse is still kickin.

What are you, a morman er something?
 

J7

Banned
Apr 2, 2017
1,915
13
0
lol. no. I am just trying to deal with it scripturally.

It's all well and good being an armchair moralist, but there are few things worse than being stuck in a marriage with the wrong person. Also, this poor man says he is going up the wall. Think about that.

The situation he is in is driving him nuts, so he needs a solution, not a patronizing pat on the back.

Like Jesus said about the pharisees - I don't think it is kind or helpful to tell him to tie a knot in it, and take his misery like a man, especially if I in his situation would run off with the Filipino maid. Just trying to keep it real.

But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4They tie up heavy,burdensome loads and lay them on men’sshoulders, but they themselves are not willingto lift a finger to move them.