So, I was talking to someone about dating a while ago. We talked about how some guys say "you want to hang out?"
She commented saying that she did not like that men ask her to hang out. I responded by saying, maybe he wants to be friends first, figure you out. She said she still did not like it.
Anyways, that being said, this made me think about how women really do like the guy to be certain. This also reminded me about how another girl I met said she liked it when a guy walked across the room to talk to her and ask her out. I said, but that's rash... he's probably just judging you by the way you look. That's all he's got to judge you by.
Considering these two girls in particular, I'd say their both self-centered. They want a guy that's confident and they read into that as being desirable. They're getting what they want when they come across these kind of men without thinking of the potential problems. Maybe they don't think the potential problems are even problems worth worrying about... who cares if the guy is a "visual" guy... all men are visual and it's okay if the guy bases his approach based off "visual" standards.
Or maybe its a security thing. Sticking to standard routines of dating makes a woman feel secure and going outside of those barriers is weird, awkward, wrong, creepy, and dangerous. Something is wrong with the situation and the man if he's doing it this way. Perhaps, a man who does the hang out approach is automatically labeled as undesirable because like I said before, she's reading into that as "uncertain" not confident... unmanly?
All and all... In the dating world, I think women do want certainty from a man. A man to be sure about her, decisions, maybe everything. I believe it's because women more often than men are uncertain... it's more of a masculine characteristic.
My main issue with this expectation is how women judge what it means when a man is uncertain or more importantly for me, when I or men should be certain.
Thoughts about certainty?
P.S. - I've never used the "you want to hang out" approach before. Don't read between the lines all the time. I'm thinking more about the certainty expectation.
She commented saying that she did not like that men ask her to hang out. I responded by saying, maybe he wants to be friends first, figure you out. She said she still did not like it.
Anyways, that being said, this made me think about how women really do like the guy to be certain. This also reminded me about how another girl I met said she liked it when a guy walked across the room to talk to her and ask her out. I said, but that's rash... he's probably just judging you by the way you look. That's all he's got to judge you by.
Considering these two girls in particular, I'd say their both self-centered. They want a guy that's confident and they read into that as being desirable. They're getting what they want when they come across these kind of men without thinking of the potential problems. Maybe they don't think the potential problems are even problems worth worrying about... who cares if the guy is a "visual" guy... all men are visual and it's okay if the guy bases his approach based off "visual" standards.
Or maybe its a security thing. Sticking to standard routines of dating makes a woman feel secure and going outside of those barriers is weird, awkward, wrong, creepy, and dangerous. Something is wrong with the situation and the man if he's doing it this way. Perhaps, a man who does the hang out approach is automatically labeled as undesirable because like I said before, she's reading into that as "uncertain" not confident... unmanly?
All and all... In the dating world, I think women do want certainty from a man. A man to be sure about her, decisions, maybe everything. I believe it's because women more often than men are uncertain... it's more of a masculine characteristic.
My main issue with this expectation is how women judge what it means when a man is uncertain or more importantly for me, when I or men should be certain.
Thoughts about certainty?
P.S. - I've never used the "you want to hang out" approach before. Don't read between the lines all the time. I'm thinking more about the certainty expectation.
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