kissing...

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jangel

Senior Member
#1
May 12, 2010
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I find myself weird for asking this, but I just got a thought on this and need Scriptural answers…

Sex outside marriage is a big no no for me, but kissing is okay, but never initiated kissing of course, if there’s a difference with that.
As Christians, we are told that there should not be even a hint of any kind of impurity, but I don’t want to think anything wrong with it, if you’re doing that to someone you like, and I know a lot of people feels the same, since it feels like it’s just an ordinary thing, that a girl/guy do in a relationship. Of course, I’m not talking just a smack thing here.

But what does the Scripture say about this, is this also a thing that can be called legal only inside the marriage? I would appreciate greatly someone’s opinion base on the Scripture.
 
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jackiesfriend

Guest
#2
#2
Kissing can stir emotions and lead you into a relationship that's not necessarily "Kosher" or right. Kissing can also get your hormones active which can eventually lead you into more physical activity. Jesus said to even look at someone with lustful intent has already committed adultery (Matt. 5:27). I would tend to believe the same to be true for an unmarried person. A Christian needs to keep him/herself pure. The way the world looks at it is - "See i it is a good fit". Young people should dwell together in groups and be very careful to honor God when they find themselves alone with each other.
 
Crypto

Crypto

Senior Member
#3
Nov 14, 2009
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I think a couples first kiss should be the seal of their marriage covenant during their wedding.
 
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sandstorm7

Guest
#4
#4
Crypto said:
I think a couples first kiss should be the seal of their marriage covenant during their wedding.
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Really? I mean that would be wonderful and all if you had waited until marriage... but don't you think that's a tad bit unrealistic? Kissing is a great way to show how much you care for someone without getting too intimate with them. Of course, passionate kissing can lead to other desires and temptations.. but a simple kiss isn't something I necessarily see as a problem. If both people are comfortable with kissing in the relationship and feel it will not lead them to other things, then I don't see it as a problem. I think it would be unrealistic for me to say I'm never going to kiss the man I am going to marry until we are married. Sometimes you date for years before marriage...
 
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sam2k4

Guest
#5
#5
come on its hard enough to wait to have sex before marriage you have to be some kind of super trouper to not kiss the woman or man before you get married.
 
Crypto

Crypto

Senior Member
#6
Nov 14, 2009
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sandstorm7 said:
Really? I mean that would be wonderful and all if you had waited until marriage... but don't you think that's a tad bit unrealistic? Kissing is a great way to show how much you care for someone without getting too intimate with them. Of course, passionate kissing can lead to other desires and temptations.. but a simple kiss isn't something I necessarily see as a problem. If both people are comfortable with kissing in the relationship and feel it will not lead them to other things, then I don't see it as a problem. I think it would be unrealistic for me to say I'm never going to kiss the man I am going to marry until we are married. Sometimes you date for years before marriage...
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Unrealistic? Not the slightest bit. The Hebrew word for kiss means to kindle, it is the first spark that leads one down the road to immorality in manycases. I think it's honorable, because when the preacher says kiss the bride, its meaningless if they've done it a billion times. It's part of the sanctity of marriage. Some people lack self control however and give in when they could wait and give their spouse a huge blessing. It may be old fashioned, sure, but it will be nice gesture of love to give someone.
 
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FirePanther

Guest
#7
#7
In part I agree with Sandstorm.

In my opinion it depends from the couple maturity: If a couple decided to marry and it's mature enough to not go over some limits, there's nothing bad in kissing. I think kissing is a way to show love, of course it's never good for a christian couple to stay too much time alone because you can be led in temptation, so everything to be fine should have a balance and must have some limits. But it's wrong to say kissing its self it's impure. An impure mind will see impurities everywhere, but a pure heart completely surrendered to God will live also kiss in the right way
 
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lil-rush

Guest
#8
#8
When people say it is unrealistic to expect them not to kiss until marriage, are they not admitting to a weakness of the flesh? And would they not want to correct that weakness instead of repeatedly indulging it?
 
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Mulehide

Guest
#9
#9
sandstorm7 said:
Really? I mean that would be wonderful and all if you had waited until marriage... but don't you think that's a tad bit unrealistic? Kissing is a great way to show how much you care for someone without getting too intimate with them. Of course, passionate kissing can lead to other desires and temptations.. but a simple kiss isn't something I necessarily see as a problem. If both people are comfortable with kissing in the relationship and feel it will not lead them to other things, then I don't see it as a problem. I think it would be unrealistic for me to say I'm never going to kiss the man I am going to marry until we are married. Sometimes you date for years before marriage...
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Not unrealistic at all. I've known countless couples who have waited till the marriage altar for their first kiss. It makes it just that much more sweet and special, a moment much anticipated.
 
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Mulehide

Guest
#10
#10
lil-rush said:
When people say it is unrealistic to expect them not to kiss until marriage, are they not admitting to a weakness of the flesh? And would they not want to correct that weakness instead of repeatedly indulging it?
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Exactly. It is easy to find a loophole if we really want to. But, why not stay as far away from the edge as possible? I've never once heard someone say they regretted waiting till they got married for their first kiss.
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#11
#11
My standing on the whole kissing thing is bit unconventional. But understand this, that it is my own personal conviction and I DO NOT push this on anyone else. If you wish to kiss your significant other before marriage, far be it from me to stop you or judge you.

God has told me no on the matter. I fall into lust far too easily. Some couples can walk while holding hands and sit with his arm around her shoulder, but it does too much to me. I start desiring the physical touch and letting my mind be blinded. I no longer see him for his character or lack there of, but for how I feel when he touches me. It's an emotional attachment that I can't handle. So for my dating life, I go father than no kissing before marriage, but almost no physical contact. I'll hug my guy friends, but once I start dating one of them, no hugging. Not until engagement. Only until engagement will I hold hands or hug, or let him put his arm around me. By then I would have seen him for who he is and gotten direction from God on the yes or no.

It really is a personal thing, and some people can kiss and not struggle much at all, but I can't. I just would say that whether to kiss or not to kiss should not ever be determined by the culture around you, but by God and His standards of how you should live your life. He knows what each of us can handle. And I can't handle much for now. lol Just waiting for my hubby.
 
Crypto

Crypto

Senior Member
#12
Nov 14, 2009
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#12
Rissa77 said:
My standing on the whole kissing thing is bit unconventional. But understand this, that it is my own personal conviction and I DO NOT push this on anyone else. If you wish to kiss your significant other before marriage, far be it from me to stop you or judge you.

God has told me no on the matter. I fall into lust far too easily. Some couples can walk while holding hands and sit with his arm around her shoulder, but it does too much to me. I start desiring the physical touch and letting my mind be blinded. I no longer see him for his character or lack there of, but for how I feel when he touches me. It's an emotional attachment that I can't handle. So for my dating life, I go father than no kissing before marriage, but almost no physical contact. I'll hug my guy friends, but once I start dating one of them, no hugging. Not until engagement. Only until engagement will I hold hands or hug, or let him put his arm around me. By then I would have seen him for who he is and gotten direction from God on the yes or no.

It really is a personal thing, and some people can kiss and not struggle much at all, but I can't. I just would say that whether to kiss or not to kiss should not ever be determined by the culture around you, but by God and His standards of how you should live your life. He knows what each of us can handle. And I can't handle much for now. lol Just waiting for my hubby.
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I applaud your standards. Rarely does someone go that far to abstain from evil (lust).
 
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jangel

Senior Member
#13
May 12, 2010
487
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As kissing can stir up emotions, I agree to that, but I still know my limitations, and as long as both of you have that, I don’t see any problem.

So far I knew only 2 guys who waited for their marriage before kissing the girl.
First couple…hands down, they’ve been together for 10 years before getting married, and the guy never kissed the girl, until he was told…you may now kiss the bride….yea that’s really sweet.
For the second guy...the girl is not a virgin anymore, but still he waited for their marriage to kiss her.


I don’t know if there are a lot of guys like them … but for the guys who are like them, all I can say …you’re amazing!
Girls who keep it for their marriage, I salute you. :)
May you find the guy who is worthy for that. :)

And for me … I need to talk to God...:)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#14
Aug 2, 2009
24,584
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#14
Crypto said:
I applaud your standards. Rarely does someone go that far to abstain from evil (lust).
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Lust itself is not evil. If it wasnt for lust, none of us would have been conceived....unless you were a test-tube baby.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#15
Aug 2, 2009
24,584
4,271
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#15
I think kissing is fine. There is kissing in the bible. Jacob kissed Rachel even before he told her who he was! (Genesis 29:11) Paul recommends that christians greet each other with a kiss! (Romans 16:16)
Of course if kissing leads to uncontrollable urges then its best to abstain, but that is not everyone's reaction to it.

Just keep that tongue where it belongs!!! :D ...ok, thats a whole other topic!
 
Crypto

Crypto

Senior Member
#16
Nov 14, 2009
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#16
zeroturbulence said:
I think kissing is fine. There is kissing in the bible. Jacob kissed Rachel even before he told her who he was! (Genesis 29:11) Paul recommends that christians greet each other with a kiss! (Romans 16:16)
Of course if kissing leads to uncontrollable urges then its best to abstain, but that is not everyone's reaction to it.

Just keep that tongue where it belongs!!! :D ...ok, thats a whole other topic!
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Neither of the 2 you mentioned were romantic. The first is a familial kiss since they were cousins, the second wass a form of Christian greeting.
 
Crypto

Crypto

Senior Member
#17
Nov 14, 2009
662
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#17
zeroturbulence said:
Lust itself is not evil. If it wasnt for lust, none of us would have been conceived....unless you were a test-tube baby.
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Yes it is. Lust is an unhealthy desire for something. And lust has nothing to do with procreation. Lust is never mentioned as a positive thing in Scripture. Of the 4 words used in the NT for lust, 3 of them can be used interchangeably with the word "covet".

22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Tim 2:22 (KJV)
 
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Crypto

Crypto

Senior Member
#18
Nov 14, 2009
662
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#18
I would definitely consider kissing to be a youthful lust in our society today.
 
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Schwager

Guest
#19
#19
Crypto said:
I would definitely consider kissing to be a youthful lust in our society today.
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Hmm I can kinda see what your talking about but I think the lust for most males is what they know kissing can lead to. Kissing is not a lust in my book sometimes i just wanna kiss my dog cause I love it so much! The same emotions can be had with a girlfriend/boyfriend and it does happen alot. But when you use kissing as a means to have sex or lead to "exploring" thats when its a form of lust! Notice the only difference is where your mind is at when kissing.
 
Crypto

Crypto

Senior Member
#20
Nov 14, 2009
662
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#20
Schwager said:
Hmm I can kinda see what your talking about but I think the lust for most males is what they know kissing can lead to. Kissing is not a lust in my book sometimes i just wanna kiss my dog cause I love it so much! The same emotions can be had with a girlfriend/boyfriend and it does happen alot. But when you use kissing as a means to have sex or lead to "exploring" thats when its a form of lust! Notice the only difference is where your mind is at when kissing.
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Yes sure, but why toe the line when it can lead to more? Abstain from all appearance of evil. Flee from anything that can be a tempter to fall into moral impurity.
 
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