How Long Has Everyone Here Been Single?

[agirlandherguitar]

Was Zero being funny? Because I found that post funny in a sad way.
Anyways, I've never been attached to anybody. Never had a boyfriend, never kissed or held hands. Nevaaaaah! Why? I dunno, really. But it I think part of it comes to the fact that I never cared or wanted a boyfriend until I was about 21 or 22. At that point I was experiencing what a 14 year old girl experiences - silly, nonsensical crushes on random people and the dreaded "he doesn't have to be a Christian!" attitude. That drastically changed in the past couple of years... so I have to say that I never really wanted a real God given relationship with a man until a few months ago. Hmm... maybe I have my answer as to why I'm single, haha.

 

[Liamson]

I'm not single, I'm not married, I'm not available, I'm Simply Free.

I don't want to see anyone fall for the same mistakes I've made recently.

 

[GRA]

Single = 'never been married'.

If you are widowed - then, you are 'widowed'.
If you are divorced - then, you are 'divorced'.

Once you are married - you are never - ever - single - again - by definition.

("That is the way I have always understood it.")



.

 

[Pheonix]

once long ago I had a 5 year relationship with a girl back when we were in high school. There was talk of marriage even, but then we went to college and started to drift apart. The end result is we split rather painfully. She married someone else a year later and I have been single ever since the split. I haven't been on a date in 10 years for various reasons, most of them employment related.

I realize this is probably a topic for another thread, but honestly though I don't really believe in dating. In my opinion dating is for those who are playing games, courting is for those who are serious and have marriage in mind as the end result. Where one ends and the other begins I haven't a clue.

 

[Custos_Clavium]

I'm (almost) 27. I've never dated or anything, so, yeah Single all my life.

Used to bother me. Now not so much. Not everyone is called to the married life, and I'm beginning to think I am one of those few.

 

[niceguyJ]

Single = 'never been married'.

If you are widowed - then, you are 'widowed'.
If you are divorced - then, you are 'divorced'.

Once you are married - you are never - ever - single - again - by definition.

("That is the way I have always understood it.")



.

Yeah, that's usually what it looks like on any form, application, etc. I've ever filled out.
In which case, I would check "single".

I can see the point of some others though who have mentioned "available" or "not available" attached to "single" for various reasons.
You could be single and completely available, or you could be single and not available because you're focusing on another person already OR you just have zero interest in a relationship.

Then there is that "It's complicated" option.

 

[Newluke]

I'm not single, i have a gf. So the question doesn't make any sense in my case

 

[sanglina]

In official forms and documents, single means any unmarried person (doesn't matter if the said person is involved/living with another person or not as long as one is officially not married), however, in the context of relationship, I would define "single" as being NOT in a relationship with any other person.

 

[hhhlga89]

Too long.

Maybe I should make this my avatar.

We'll share it :-(

 

[jo_ptrp]

it took me 7 years of waiting from my 1st relationship to my 2nd relationship...unfortunately my bf for 3 and half years broke up with me and im single and available for hmmm 163 days...;-D and it doesn't matter if i wait for another 7 years as long as that man will see me as his future wife...im praying for you my prince wherever you are!

 

[See_KING_Truth]

I've been single for over 6 years now.

My definition of being single is not having a significant other, and while I still consider myself single while dating a woman, I do not consider myself available (or open to dating more than one woman at a time).

 

[GRA]

Yeah, that's usually what it looks like on any form, application, etc. I've ever filled out.
In which case, I would check "single".

I can see the point of some others though who have mentioned "available" or "not available" attached to "single" for various reasons.
You could be single and completely available, or you could be single and not available because you're focusing on another person already OR you just have zero interest in a relationship.

Then there is that "It's complicated" option.

But, that is the thing we must consider...

'single' defines one thing - 'available' defines another. And there are other words, also...

The definition or use of the word 'single' should not re-define or modify the definition or use of the word 'available'. Nor should the definition or use of the word 'available' re-define or modify the definition or use of the word 'single'.

They are separate. Each should be what it is - and utilized as such.

Imagine - if everyone accepted the "original" and "accepted" definition of these (and other) words - instead of "re-defining" them into their own "definition"...???

Would there be this much confusion? Or, would we all understand precisely what someone meant when they said [whatever] (using these words)?

There-in is the problem -- everyone wants to have their own definition - instead of "finding agreement" in a "constant" and "consistant" set of definitions.

This is a modern work of Satan - to confuse the language (and thereby, people) by changing the meaning of words continually... (and especially to try to confound the Word of God)

I am old enough - and have seen the drastic changes in [U.S.A.] society over the decades of my lifetime - such that, I believe I can attest to - with all confidence - that the "original" and "accepted" definition of 'single' is, in fact, as I have stated.

It is very unfortunate, in this present generation of "me me me", that "finding agreement" for the most common of things has been either "suspended" or "killed to death" in opt for "the complicated option" - all in the name of "personal gratification" -- "I want it my way." - "I want to define it according to my every whim." - "I want you to use my definition." ("because, it is convenient for me") ...

How sad - and completely unnecessary.

If people would only stop changing [the meaning of] existing well-established words - and find another well-established word that better describes what they are wanting to say -- we wouldn't have this problem...



.

 

[AsifinPassing]

But, that is the thing we must consider...

'single' defines one thing - 'available' defines another. And there are other words, also...

The definition or use of the word 'single' should not re-define or modify the definition or use of the word 'available'. Nor should the definition or use of the word 'available' re-define or modify the definition or use of the word 'single'.

They are separate. Each should be what it is - and utilized as such.

Imagine - if everyone accepted the "original" and "accepted" definition of these (and other) words - instead of "re-defining" them into their own "definition"...???

Would there be this much confusion? Or, would we all understand precisely what someone meant when they said [whatever] (using these words)?

There-in is the problem -- everyone wants to have their own definition - instead of "finding agreement" in a "constant" and "consistant" set of definitions.

This is a modern work of Satan - to confuse the language (and thereby, people) by changing the meaning of words continually... (and especially to try to confound the Word of God)

I am old enough - and have seen the drastic changes in [U.S.A.] society over the decades of my lifetime - such that, I believe I can attest to - with all confidence - that the "original" and "accepted" definition of 'single' is, in fact, as I have stated.

It is very unfortunate, in this present generation of "me me me", that "finding agreement" for the most common of things has been either "suspended" or "killed to death" in opt for "the complicated option" - all in the name of "personal gratification" -- "I want it my way." - "I want to define it according to my every whim." - "I want you to use my definition." ("because, it is convenient for me") ...

How sad - and completely unnecessary.

If people would only stop changing [the meaning of] existing well-established words - and find another well-established word that better describes what they are wanting to say -- we wouldn't have this problem...



.

I can hear you on that. The things is (and I'm probably misquoting this), one of the things I learned in acting, mass comm, English/Literature/Writing classes, and the like...is that though the University (I'm an undergraduate student) wants you to use 'higher' levels of English (grammar, vocabulary, ext...), the average American (as in US, no offense to Central or South Americans) has something like a 4th or 5th grade reading and vocabulary level.

Furthermore, if you research a bit, you'll find that the average (adult) person only has about a 3,000-6,000 word vocabulary; whereas, the Modern English Language (excluding slang, Old English words, ext) has over 10X (as in 60,000+) that amount!! It's also said that Shakespeare alone used over 60,000 words (just himself/in his writing).

So, I suppose, part of my response to your post is that people (US...and other) in general may or may not be too lazy to learn or expand their vocabularies (or in the case of Apathy, just don't care). For example, why use my 12,000 word vocabulary if the average individual won't understand half of what I say? I often use this in my teaching and preaching. I tell people what a word (or words) is (or are), not only their definition but etymology (which means the study of the word, it's history (origins), usage, connotations, ext...), so that we can be 'on the same page'.

...so, I see what you're saying spiritually involving our language, but just from a mental or social standpoint, the problem lies not only (or really at all...) in our education, but in the social 'norms' and accepted practice of conversion. We're lazy. That's why we abbreviate everything. That's why we do a lot of thing we do.

I agree that there's an issue of selfishness, but it's not some recent development! Arguably, mankind's (or humankind's to be inclusive) greatest downfall is our selfish nature! More or less, the majority of sins wouldn't be an issue if this weren't the case.

 

[GRA]

I can hear you on that. The things is (and I'm probably misquoting this), one of the things I learned in acting, mass comm, English/Literature/Writing classes, and the like...is that though the University (I'm an undergraduate student) wants you to use 'higher' levels of English (grammar, vocabulary, ext...), the average American (as in US, no offense to Central or South Americans) has something like a 4th or 5th grade reading and vocabulary level.

Furthermore, if you research a bit, you'll find that the average (adult) person only has about a 3,000-6,000 word vocabulary; whereas, the Modern English Language (excluding slang, Old English words, ext) has over 10X (as in 60,000+) that amount!! It's also said that Shakespeare alone used over 60,000 words (just himself/in his writing).

So, I suppose, part of my response to your post is that people (US...and other) in general may or may not be too lazy to learn or expand their vocabularies (or in the case of Apathy, just don't care). For example, why use my 12,000 word vocabulary if the average individual won't understand half of what I say? I often use this in my teaching and preaching. I tell people what a word (or words) is (or are), not only their definition but etymology (which means the study of the word, it's history (origins), usage, connotations, ext...), so that we can be 'on the same page'.

...so, I see what you're saying spiritually involving our language, but just from a mental or social standpoint, the problem lies not only (or really at all...) in our education, but in the social 'norms' and accepted practice of conversion. We're lazy. That's why we abbreviate everything. That's why we do a lot of thing we do.

I agree that there's an issue of selfishness, but it's not some recent development! Arguably, mankind's (or humankind's to be inclusive) greatest downfall is our selfish nature! More or less, the majority of sins wouldn't be an issue if this weren't the case.

"Exactly. That is what I am saying..."

It used to be that people were willing to be "not so lazy" so that there would be "less confusion"...

There is a trade-off.

Nobody cares anymore.
Nobody understands anymore.
Nobody believes in "proper" anymore.
Nobody wants to "lift a finger" to "preserve" anymore.
Nobody is willing to "stand up" and make the difference anymore.

It is truly sad.



.

 

[seoulsearch]

"Exactly. That is what I am saying..."

It used to be that people were willing to be "not so lazy" so that there would be "less confusion"...

There is a trade-off.

Nobody cares anymore.
Nobody understands anymore.
Nobody believes in "proper" anymore.
Nobody wants to "lift a finger" to "preserve" anymore.
Nobody is willing to "stand up" and make the difference anymore.

It is truly sad.



.

This is a bit off-topic but I'd also have to point out that life has also changed over the decades. Although we might lament what was and what could be, we also have to look at modern life realistically--most households have two parents working or a single parent trying to provide for everyone; kids are worried about drugs and guns at school; parents work longer hours and have fewer resources/time with their children.

A young couple at my church was talking about the fact that if they get 6 hours of sleep a night with their 6-month old, it's a really, really good night.

Most people are worried about surviving everyday life, finding or keeping a job, and feeding their children.

In between all that, there just might not be time to learn 60,000 words.

 

[Jullianna]

Single = 'never been married'.

If you are widowed - then, you are 'widowed'.
If you are divorced - then, you are 'divorced'.

Once you are married - you are never - ever - single - again - by definition.

("That is the way I have always understood it.")



.

I stopped saying or putting "widowed" on stuff. It freaks guys out and they start apologizing for even talking to me.

 

[AsifinPassing]

"Exactly. That is what I am saying..."

It used to be that people were willing to be "not so lazy" so that there would be "less confusion"...

There is a trade-off.

Nobody cares anymore.
Nobody understands anymore.
Nobody believes in "proper" anymore.
Nobody wants to "lift a finger" to "preserve" anymore.
Nobody is willing to "stand up" and make the difference anymore.

It is truly sad.



.

Again, I see what you're saying, but have to disagree.

The people 'of the good ol' days' saw them as that, because it was their generation. The generation before yours said that your generation is 'leading everyone to hell in a hand basket'...just as some in your generation are saying about mine.

The fact of the matter is, change is an inevitable reality of life. With the exception of God, everything will always change...and THAT'S NOT A BAD THING!

Now, is it true that no one cares? No. It it true that everyone's lazy? No. Is it true that EVERYONE IS ANYTHING?? No!

We're all very different, and also similar. It's sort of like words that don't rhyme, but do seem to. In any case, what has really changed (despite other arguments) is the PERCEPTION of reality as much as reality itself.

If people ever perceive one thing to be 'the right way'...and see ways other than this...then it will look 'wrong'. Are there people fighting to preserve things? Yes. Are there people who care? Yes.

IS the MEDIA shouting out Christian messages and trying to prove things to people?? NO!! It hardly ever was. The media follows the money. It's been that way for a very long time...

Anyway, that said, we as humans have an aptitude to focus on and remember the negative over the positive! If you had the best vacation of your life, but everything went terribly wrong on the last day...most will remember it as a bad vacation, but it wasn't!!! In the same way, a GREAT DEAL of GOOD happens EVERYDAY on Earth, but most people don't remember that. They remember the wars, murders, pain, anger, sadness...ext. As it's said, 'happiness is fleeting', but perhaps a large part of that is due to our perception...

Anyway, let me put like this. The world has been changing since it was first created. Old dying...new coming in...some things transcending...but constantly changing. Many don't like change. They fight it. They tried to fight it with slavery. They tried to fight it with Kings/authority. They tried to fight with nearly everything and anything you can think of, and many who held to old system saw it as 'wrong'.

I am one who celebrate ancient and modern, old and new, then, now, and tomorrow! I can see some changes which have been 'bad' and others 'good', and this is the question I bring to the table...

The animals who didn't adapt...the business who didn't change...the people who could not accept leaving the 'old ways' ...where are they now?

Answer: Extinct

I leave you with a quote from 'The Last Samurai' featuring Tom Cruise:

"I belong to warrior in who, the old ways have joined the new."

 

[LilyLight77]

Been single all my life and I'm content with it. I'm in no rush to jump into something that isn't God's perfect will for my life.

 

[Chrissy77]

But, that is the thing we must consider...

'single' defines one thing - 'available' defines another. And there are other words, also...

The definition or use of the word 'single' should not re-define or modify the definition or use of the word 'available'. Nor should the definition or use of the word 'available' re-define or modify the definition or use of the word 'single'.

They are separate. Each should be what it is - and utilized as such.

Imagine - if everyone accepted the "original" and "accepted" definition of these (and other) words - instead of "re-defining" them into their own "definition"...???

Would there be this much confusion? Or, would we all understand precisely what someone meant when they said [whatever] (using these words)?

There-in is the problem -- everyone wants to have their own definition - instead of "finding agreement" in a "constant" and "consistant" set of definitions.

This is a modern work of Satan - to confuse the language (and thereby, people) by changing the meaning of words continually... (and especially to try to confound the Word of God)

I am old enough - and have seen the drastic changes in [U.S.A.] society over the decades of my lifetime - such that, I believe I can attest to - with all confidence - that the "original" and "accepted" definition of 'single' is, in fact, as I have stated.

It is very unfortunate, in this present generation of "me me me", that "finding agreement" for the most common of things has been either "suspended" or "killed to death" in opt for "the complicated option" - all in the name of "personal gratification" -- "I want it my way." - "I want to define it according to my every whim." - "I want you to use my definition." ("because, it is convenient for me") ...

How sad - and completely unnecessary.

If people would only stop changing [the meaning of] existing well-established words - and find another well-established word that better describes what they are wanting to say -- we wouldn't have this problem...



.

Think it would just be easier if people simply detailed their situation.

I have been divorced for over a year after a three year separation.
Whatever that is defined as that is what it is. It isn't what I wanted
but I can't change it. So I am singularly living on my own, taking care
of my own bills, mowing my own yard, taking out my own garbage,
and sleeping alone in my own bed. I hope that clarifies whether I am
single or not.

 

[AsifinPassing]

Think it would just be easier if people simply detailed their situation.

I have been divorced for over a year after a three year separation.
Whatever that is defined as that is what it is. It isn't what I wanted
but I can't change it. So I am singularly living on my own, taking care
of my own bills, mowing my own yard, taking out my own garbage,
and sleeping alone in my own bed. I hope that clarifies whether I am
single or not.

I'm sorry, Chrissy...


..but You're Awesome!!! I hope that clarifies that!!!