I have been married to my husband since 1982. He has always been the love of my life. We are going through a very rough time right now. When I asked him if he loved me, he said that he didn't want anything to happen to me but he did not desire me.

The problem is oral sex. That is all he wants from me. He can't perform when it comes to intercouse but it works with my hand or mouth.

He says that if I love him like I say that I would try harder and give him oral sex and he may start loving me again. I have such a hard time with this. I am so uncomfortable with this. I really try but so so difficult.

Am I suppose to put my feelings aside and do what he wants and hope that he could or would start loving me again.

I am in tremendous pain over this right now. I do not, can not take this pain much longer. I have asked God to just let me go to sleep and never wake up so I don't have to keep feeling this.

Please give me adice and pray for me.

We have always been so good together.We work side by side every day. Just been getting further apart and not seeing eye to eye on things. When I finally ask what the problem is, he says because I have denied him all these years of what he wants most. Therefore, he is not interested in me anymore. But he still wants me to 'perform". We built a new house 3 years ago with a fireplace in it. He has never been the romantic type. When we were intimate, it was just get it done == maybe he will kiss me maybe not. No foreplay!! Then roll over and go to sleep. Well anyway, after the house was built, I have BEGGED him for a romantic night in front of the fireplace. Haven't had it yet. He says that is because I have not given him what he wants and if I did then he might feel more romantic.

As I read this, I thinking there is something seriously wrong with this picture!!!!

At church just last week, our pastor said, Husbands, you are to love your wife like Jesus loved the church. Wife, you are to submit yourself to your husband. But saying that, if your husband loves you like he should, he won't ask you to do anything you are uncomfortable with.

Am I suppose to submit to my husband regardless of how I feel about it.

Someone please help me. I ask that you pray and ask God to give me peace immediatlely. I am in turmoil. I am having thoughts that Ishould NOT have.

I need to talk to someone but it is just so personal and I feel so embarrassed = even to my best friend who is the most Christian woman around.

I am not sure what help I can offer besides prayer....I will most assuredly do that for you!!! I too have been married for about as long as you have been, and I am about the same age as you are as well. I have no idea even what to say, but I do care and will pray for you, your marriage, and your husband's "ideas" on all this?? to change. God Bless you.....truly, I will pray........

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When you are going through something hard, and wonder where God is.........remember, the teacher is always quiet during a test. Trust in the Lord.

nanabean

It hurts so bad knowing that the man who has been at the center of my life for most of my life basically tells me that he doesn't love me anymore. How can I accept this. My heart and my insides are just twistingA!!!

mimi

you need some direct feedback

anything a couple agree on in the bedroom God does not judge

i never could see the emphasis that porn puts on oral

the fact that porn emphasises it is a good indication that it is wrong/unhealthy

only you know the history of your relationship

but if something is one way and not reciprocal that is a warning sign right there
you need to understand male psychology

you do NOT have his respect

if you are ever to gain it you need to
draw the line right now
explain it to him - do not let him con or bamboozle you
never cross the line once you have drawn it

the only way you are going to regain him on healthy terms is by risking losing him - you gotta choose, you gotta stand firm