Need help with assistant living very urgent

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Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#1
Aug 28, 2012
19,213
2,548
113
#1
Hey guys so here is the deal. I live with my mom because I am unable to live on my own I have to be taken care of like a child. I get a disability check 700 dollars a month but I don't get any of it my mom says it is for my rent living with her. I am sure what she is doing is illegal but I can't go against her because if I do she will take everything away from me if it goes sour. She has complete control over me and my life I don't get a say in anything and I have no freedom whatsoever.

So I need to move out and soon, but the cost of living in the assistant living home near me is 1100a month and plus it's only for ppl 60 and over. I was wondering if anyone knew a number I could call to be able to go to some type of assistant living. My disability check is 700 a month and my mom is my legal guardian so I don't even know if I legally have a say in if I can just up and move out. And this has to be a sure thing because if it goes wrong my mom will take everything from me. I can't go to court about this, I know I should but I can't because that would mean having to go against my mom and you have no idea what she is capable of.

If I am an adult I am hoping even if she has legal guardianship over me she doesn't get a say in if I move out or not and I wouldn't even begin to know who to contact
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#2
Aug 28, 2012
19,213
2,548
113
#2
Okay so I called a number called APS and I told them my situation and they said they would make a referral because they said my situation is bad and what my mom is doing is illegal. They said they can help me move out and such and would reply in 72 business hours. But I am terrified because if this goes wrong at all my mom will take everything away from me and if I have to still live with her she will make sure my life is hell. She isn't the forgiving type
 
crossnote

crossnote

Senior Member
#3
Nov 24, 2012
30,706
3,650
113
#3
Have you looked into any Christian group/ministry homes?
I used to help in one in which rent at today's cost would be about $500/mo..
But there was a lot of sharing of facilities.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#4
Aug 28, 2012
19,213
2,548
113
#4
crossnote said:
Have you looked into any Christian group/ministry homes?
I used to help in one in which rent at today's cost would be about $500/mo..
But there was a lot of sharing of facilities.
Click to expand...
No i havent, the issue that has to be taken care of first is my mom. She doesn't want me to leave but if she doesn't have a say in the matter and legally I can just move into such a home then sure she will probably never want to see me again or at least she will never forgive me but it would be worth it. I won't be able to have my check either way because rent is never free but I will likely have a lot more freedom- I hope
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#5
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#5
Blain said:
Hey guys so here is the deal. I live with my mom because I am unable to live on my own I have to be taken care of like a child. I get a disability check 700 dollars a month but I don't get any of it my mom says it is for my rent living with her. I am sure what she is doing is illegal but I can't go against her because if I do she will take everything away from me if it goes sour. She has complete control over me and my life I don't get a say in anything and I have no freedom whatsoever.

So I need to move out and soon, but the cost of living in the assistant living home near me is 1100a month and plus it's only for ppl 60 and over. I was wondering if anyone knew a number I could call to be able to go to some type of assistant living. My disability check is 700 a month and my mom is my legal guardian so I don't even know if I legally have a say in if I can just up and move out. And this has to be a sure thing because if it goes wrong my mom will take everything from me. I can't go to court about this, I know I should but I can't because that would mean having to go against my mom and you have no idea what she is capable of.

If I am an adult I am hoping even if she has legal guardianship over me she doesn't get a say in if I move out or not and I wouldn't even begin to know who to contact
Click to expand...
Your mom probably has power of attorney regarding your medical care and another for your financial aspects. Seems to me that as an adult with control of your mental faculties you can revoke this at any time.

At the moment you really can't do anything until you have a clear cut plan on how you are to live. I understand your need to have the freedom to do what you want with your life.

My only advice at this time is to contact a local state social services office nearest to you to see what the actual assisted living options are. One thing is certain is that you will not be able to afford this on your disability check alone but it is possible that your state my be able to fund the full amount depending on the funding and availability.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#6
Aug 28, 2012
19,213
2,548
113
#6
tourist said:
Your mom probably has power of attorney regarding your medical care and another for your financial aspects. Seems to me that as an adult with control of your mental faculties you can revoke this at any time.

At the moment you really can't do anything until you have a clear cut plan on how you are to live. I understand your need to have the freedom to do what you want with your life.

My only advice at this time is to contact a local state social services office nearest to you to see what the actual assisted living options are. One thing is certain is that you will not be able to afford this on your disability check alone but it is possible that your state my be able to fund the full amount depending on the funding and availability.
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Well if they can find me a place to live hopefully with other ppl as I would hate to live alone I am more than willing to work. But are you saying that because I am mentally ok I can choose to leave at any time if I have a place to go?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#7
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#7
Blain said:
Well if they can find me a place to live hopefully with other ppl as I would hate to live alone I am more than willing to work. But are you saying that because I am mentally ok I can choose to leave at any time if I have a place to go?
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Yes, that is what I am saying. You are not a prisoner of the state. Legally, you can go anywhere you want whenever you want. You certainly do not want to leave until you have a place that you can go.
 
Joidevivre

Joidevivre

Senior Member
#8
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#8
Blain, Earlier you mentioned that you have brain damage that keeps you from driving a car, or even working because of not always keeping things straight. That you can't follow simple commands. Is this correct? You also have diabetes, cancer in remission and you are in pain a lot.

How could you work? What would you do? In what way does your mother care for you now? Would you still need someone to take care of you? It sounds like things are more complicated than just moving out.

Tourist gave you some good advice on calling the right people for assisted living places that might work for you. But it does sound like your mother would have to agree with all of this if she has Power of Attorney over you at this time.
 
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Joidevivre

Joidevivre

Senior Member
#9
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#9
I should have asked you also what freedom do you want that you could have if you lived apart from your mother? Freedom just from her (which could very well be good for you) or are there other freedoms that you feel she is keeping you from having?
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#10
Aug 28, 2012
19,213
2,548
113
#10
Joidevivre said:
Blain, Earlier you mentioned that you have brain damage that keeps you from driving a car, or even working because of not always keeping things straight. That you can't follow simple commands. Is this correct? You also have diabetes, cancer in remission and you are in pain a lot.

How could you work? What would you do? In what way does your mother care for you now? Would you still need someone to take care of you? It sounds like things are more complicated than just moving out.

Tourist gave you some good advice on calling the right people for assisted living places that might work for you. But it does sound like your mother would have to agree with all of this if she has Power of Attorney over you at this time.
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Well I know how to clean I could do that, My mom basically takes care of my medical needs and gives me food and a home
 
A

Angelmommie

Guest
#11
#11
Blain what does APS stand for..(the place you said you called and they said they will help you?)
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#12
Aug 28, 2012
19,213
2,548
113
#12
Angelmommie said:
Blain what does APS stand for..(the place you said you called and they said they will help you?)
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Its an adult service for ppl like me who can't take care of themselves and need help to move out and such
 
A

Angelmommie

Guest
#13
#13
Blain said:
Its an adult service for ppl like me who can't take care of themselves and need help to move out and such
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Oh good..so they should be able to help you and get you away from your mom! I pray they will be able to help you get to a very good place in your life and help you move forward, you deserve some happiness!:)
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#14
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#14
Joidevivre said:
Blain, Earlier you mentioned that you have brain damage that keeps you from driving a car, or even working because of not always keeping things straight. That you can't follow simple commands. Is this correct? You also have diabetes, cancer in remission and you are in pain a lot.

How could you work? What would you do? In what way does your mother care for you now? Would you still need someone to take care of you? It sounds like things are more complicated than just moving out.

Tourist gave you some good advice on calling the right people for assisted living places that might work for you. But it does sound like your mother would have to agree with all of this if she has Power of Attorney over you at this time.
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He can petition to have his mother removed as his guardian anytime. He can have whoever he wants as a guardian, though most likely it would be the state. If he moves to an assisted living place, they would take his disability check and use it for rent and medical expenses. I'm sure the state must have a grant or something that could help him out further with money. As far as work, for a bit of extra income, he could do online surveys and get paid for them. Just research them first and make sure they're legit.

 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#16
#16
How are you doing with this Blain? I've been following this thread.
 
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