Can someone please explain grown ups to me?

So I went to a teeny tiny high school. Seriously, if you think your school was small, mine was smaller. I had three people in my graduating class, including me. Three as in 1,2,3.

Anyways this school was not only small but it catered to a wide range of students. The age range was from 2-18. So I can say I went to school with 2-year-olds.

So the guy in charge was named Mr. L. His mother was the principal and she was named Mrs. Carmen. Mr. L and Mrs. Carmen would yell at us a lot. Like A LOT. If we got a bad test grade we were yelled at and called lazy. Here is how a usual yelling would go:

Mr. L: Why did you fail this test?
Me: *looking away and shrugs* I dunno
Mr.L: LOOK AT ME!
Me: *Looks at him*
Mr. L: Why did you fail this test?
Me: because I didn't study (I did study) or the answer I would also give would be because I'm lazy.(both were acceptable)

Why do children have to act like adults when it is ok for adults to act like children?

I was doing so good at forgetting and moving on and then someone yelled at me today and it brought it all back.

I kept failing those tests because I had learning disabilities.

How do I move past this? How do I forget when the memories keep forcing their way back into my head?

Please help?

-JFSurvivor

Only God can erase your past. You should don't give the chance to being thinking too much about what happened years and years ago. Try to focus on another thing, from the present. You were just a kid, it's not your fault. Pray for those who did it to you and the little students. Forgive them. If we let the past take our time, we get "paralized", like the wife of Lot's wife, she was giving attention to things that were staying in the place they were running from it, a place that would be destroyed. So, looking to the past doesn't give you freedom to go ahead. Ask the Lord to give you freedom, the Holy Spirit is ready to help you, for sure. You just need to ask.

i was REALLY making progress. Like A LOT of progress and then this happens and just....just....GAH! I WAS DOING EVERYTHING I COULD! I prayed for them, I blocked out the memories but they will not leave me alone!! Sorry I'm so frusterated, it's just this high school gave me PTSD and I made A LOT of progress and I feel like I just took a giant leap back! :-(

Before I received Jesus as my only Saviour, I used to get very hurt when some memory, even from childhood, as yours, when they used to come by to my mind, I used to suffer a lot, just of thinking about it, after Jesus came to my life, and I knew His power to heal, and to teach us to forgive others and ourselves, I knew this memories was just memories, they didn't hurt me any more. Today, I remember, but I don't get hurt. Don't let the enemy use this kind of situation to put you far from God.

God bless you!

Jesus defines you

Don't blame yourself for stepping back. God knows we're weak, and He will continue by your side, and lift you up again.

Remember, as you said, the school was small...hardly a fair sample of the adult population. Those 'adults' seemed to have read one too many Dickens stories.

It's really hard to forget your past and move on, it's very human to be that way.

The best way is to fight it!

Prayer (alone and with others, I repeat and WITH OTHERS), and Bible reading, lots and lots of Bible reading. You may even need to fast about it.

The best thing is to never meditate on the situation. Such as when you were yelled and the devil started whispering your past in your ear, hand the phone to Jesus. Don't even give it a second thought, just look what giving a second thought did to mankind (Eve listening to the Serpent).

I'll be praying for you sister!

"Mr. L?" Sounds more like a CIA alias than addressing a teacher by their last name.

The funny thing about adults: Not all of them are grown up. Or sensible. Or reasonable. You strike me as having a pretty good head on your shoulders, JF. Give it some time, and the emotions will (hopefully) ebb. And Mr. L can get back to his virulent interrogations of children by day (as can Mrs. Car'mean') and his covert infiltrations of Communist secret societies by night...Wait, he is a CIA agent, right?

Most grown ups have wounded little baby souls inside them......unprocessed pain is another way to say it.

What's even more sad....there are children out there in pain, because they have to deal with their parents, that are dealing with their inner child pain?

We grown ups, are weird.

Hey Sis, my mother used to talk to me in that way, she was running that game with asking a question with only a certain answer being acceptable and also the famous look at me thing. So I know how you feel.
People who do this feel really bad about themselves, so when they put you down, that lifts them up and makes them feel a little better about themselves, they give a tap on shoulders to themselves and are like Ooohhh go me I am soo great and I'm not lazy and all that like these children... You have to realize that they dont know a better way. It really is sad and for pity... The pharisees did this all the time, pointed out specks in others while they walked around with a plank in broad garments, because it made them feel a little better about themselves. Thank you God that I'm not like this tax collector etc... Of course you have to remember that demons inspire this and also speak lies because satan is the father of lies. The objective was to cause you to believe a lie that you were lazy or whatever, and not what Jesus says about you. They also have to yell because they know they are wrong so they use extra force to get their point across. While God of truth speaks with a small still voice in your heart. Understand these things and do not be afraid nor upset. amen in the name of Jesus

This is part of progress. Walk with Jesus is not always straight upward, it's actually rather zigzag with ups and downs as we progressively grow our wings and fly higher to Him.
Be of good cheer. Usually, no always, when there's a trough I'm walking through, there is a massive breakthrough and deliverance impending. Hang on and watch the salvation of God!

Oh just remembered this... please be comforted with this wisdom from the Proverbs Sis (and forgive my brainstormy adhd brain that scattered all this into a few posts)!

Proverbs 24:16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.

See? It is an upward zigzag for the righteous, and not an upward straight line. You can say *whew* now and rest in assurance that God will complete what He wants completed there.

:') Thanks. You guys are so nice.

This is probably some of the most sound advice you will ever get on this forum. And it applies to EVERYTHING in life. Google: The Cherokee Tale of Two Wolves. It is the thing the Bible tells us over and over again, all through the book.

The Tale:
One evening, an elderly
cherokee brave told his
grandson about a battle that
goes on inside people.

he said "my son, the battle is
between two 'wolves' inside us all.
one is evil. it is anger,
envy, jealousy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment,
inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority, and ego.

the other is good.
it is joy, peace love, hope serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence,
empathy, generosity,
truth, compassion and faith."

the grandson though about
it for a minute and then asked
his grandfather:

"which wolf wins?..."

the old cherokee simply replied,
"the one that you feed"

When people are hurting they often hurt people. It's important for you to be aware of when you experience pain from someone so that you can tell them that you don't like being treated that way. Forgiveness is important but so is being assertive. We are commanded to forgive as well as to guard our hearts. Always remember that anger is a secondary emotion to a painful feeling or experience as well as a warning to yourself that a boundary has been crossed or a core value has been violated. I think you have a boundary and it is....."be nice to me". It's okay to say it when soneone isn't.......say to them....be nice to me.

Jesus understood this, and because of that, He was able to look at even His murderers, and love them, asking for God to forgive them.

Yeah, admittedly, a little rougher for us to do that......... But, we need to try.

It doesn't sound like you had that great of teachers if all they did was scold you for failing without giving much of assistance. I know how it is since in high school and even in grammar school I was seen to be a bit slow and needed to be in a small group with others classified to have learning disabilities even though we were still in a normal classroom (for the most part). They never even verified as to why I was there to begin with, like if I had specific disabilities that held me back.

Anyway, I'm sorry that you're living with some trauma as the result. Even the slightest things can stick with us, especially if one is sensitive to begin with. Do you go to counselling? I'd suggest to bring it up at one before it could have the chance to manifest into something greater.