Expectation of a Christian

I'm not sure if this applies in your country but in where I am, when you are a Christian, all eyes are on you. They expected you to give them the other cheek to slap when they've slapped you once. What more? When you start studying at the seminary, regardless whether you are doing it part time or not, the church people expect you to be there to serve them and never let them see when you are feeling depressed, down, upset, etc. because that should not exist in the dictionary especially of one who's doing theological studies. What is your opinion?

You've brought up some good questions. Your post is a little oblique; are you studying at a seminary? Kudos if you are!

I was fortunate to attend seminary in a mostly-Christian town, but even so, there were people who could not grasp the struggles I was having at the time (family issues, not school stuff). Generally people were quietly supportive though.

Regardless of where one lives, our lives are on display for the unbelievers to assess. That makes it important that we live above reproach. I'm not sure if you mean you're getting literally slapped (that is abuse in many countries; not sure about your country), or just verbally abused. Either way it is hard not to respond in anger. Keeping your peace will earn you respect, which will in turn earn you the "right" to bear witness with words.

As for fellow church people who have unrealistic expectations, who gave them the right to judge you? Get support from those you trust. There are plenty of good people here on CC who will hear your concerns and hurts, and offer prayer and encouragement. Set boundaries to keep out the hurtful people.

Another thought: in my community I have come across quite a few people whose journey through seminary was riddled with difficulty, heartache, pain, rejection, etc. I came to realize that God allowed all the 'furnace time' to bring about sanctification. To our Heavenly Father, we are worth more than pure gold, but like gold, we need to be purified. It seems that the best way (the only way?) to accomplish that is through difficulty.

If you're okay with it, I'll be praying for God to give you His strength to get through. With His help, you can do anything!

Sadly there are no real expectations of Christians here in the US since just about everyone is expected to be a Christian already. It's more about identity rather than than a practice or belief system. I think if self-proclaimed Christians were held more accountable, we would see less issues in the church. But for you it sounds like the other extreme where you are expected to be perfect or function without any weakness whatsoever.

sadly no this is not the case here in the u.s. or at least not here in okc, we would actually be lucky if all eyes were on us expecting to see us put God's word into action but not here basically everyone is like oh your a Christian? cool whatever. in your situation it isn't easy but it is a blessing in disguise, because ppl expect you to be more Christ like then his light shines brightly amongst anticipating ppl.

However the whole never showing how you really feel thing is wrong, even Jesus himself expressed sorrow and frustration weariness and many other human emotions and feelings

I saw this right after I posted my post, maybe God is speaking through both of us

Yes, I am a part time student at the seminary and this is my fifth year; targeting to graduate next year.

Not literally slapping. I have been having some personal issues dealing with my childhood trauma and the recent happenings in my life. All these years, I've been living in a way that I thought I'm absolutely alright with all the abuses from my mother (through beating till bleeding and the worst time was bleeding on my face). Because of my studies and I happened to take an elective paper on "Grief and Loss", I realise that I'm only a human being, a human with feelings and emotions. There is nothing wrong to feel pain, wounded, broken and so on.

At such moments, I know that a lot of things will irritate me easily. Hence, I've decided to isolate myself especially in church. At work, I have to put up my best to smile and stand up firmly not to show people that I have any problems. I have to put on a mask but after work hours, I just want to be myself. A church is said to be a place where you meet and fellowship with your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. So, it's your other family (for those who have a family), I think. Should we put on a mask when we are with these people? Can we not be ourselves?

The church had offered to pay 50% of my studies since I've been a member there but because of all these issues that's going on in my head, I did not stay back after the service. The pastor called me in saying that I'm in-debted to the church since they've paid me for my studies and as such, I have to serve to build up the church and not bring it down. By doing so, I have to stay back, put on a big smile, forget every single bit of thing that bothers me or going through in my mind because they are meant to be irrelevant, and swallow humble pie - especially that I'm a theological student!

Thank you...

Way much more than that is expected out of me because I'm not only a Christian but a theological student, so they said!

I agree with you...I am struggling living with Christians who keep telling me, "Focus on Jesus", "If you have Jesus, no matter how lonely you are, you will never be lonely.", etc. I am not saying this is not true. I have been living like this all my life ever since I'm single, I never pour out my pain easily to people unless I know them well enough. Just that, right now, I'm going through the pit and I just want to be all by myself, yet, the pastor sees that I've emptied all in my mind and allowed the demons to enter!

To me....when I am going through the pit, I'd rather be alone, by myself rather than being with people because I would hurt people as I may not know what I will tell them if they say something that's offensive to me at that point of time. If I'm standing high up in the hills, you can say anything to me but I can easily brush it off; not when I'm in the pit. Secondly, when I'm in this state, I am not able to give because I have nothing to give. I'm dried up...