Writing a book for the first time

I decided today to start writing a book, and I completed chapter 1. Can I get some input, thank you!

Chapter One
Before I Was Born

I was sleeping, and I could hear the merriment of others ring through the air. Then there was silence, and it woke me up. When I opened my eyes, I found myself laying at the base of a magnificent tree. I searched around as I sat there, miles, and miles of billowy beautiful clouds. There was no one in sight, I was alone. My eyes started shedding tears, and I grew quite sad. As I sobbed away, along came a boy, about the same size I was. He asked me, "Why are you crying?" I was surprised, "Where did you come from?" He said, "Over there!" I was like, "No way, I looked over there!" As I looked in that direction, and still just seen miles of clouds. When I turned back around, the boy was now kneeling down, looking down in a deep stare. Curious, I knelt down beside him. When I looked down, there was a hole in the clouds, that exposed Earth. I said, "Wow, how pretty!" He started telling me that God created it, and how it was a gift to his children. I was excited, and told him "Wow, I want to be one of God's children!" He continued to tell me also about God's son Jesus, and how he went to Earth to help God's children, because they were in danger. I exclaimed, "From what?" He told me there was an enemy, that rebelled against God, and ways trying to get his children to rebel too. Then it was as if we were looking into a high powered magnifying glass, and we zoomed in to where I could see people. Some things were a joy to see, but than I also seen horrible things. When I seen the things that I did, the boy would explain it to me. Showing me why Jesus had to come to Earth, and I told him "I want to help!" That was when all of a sudden, I was falling. It was as like I was in a vacuum cleaner, and the light I was in, grew dark. I was scared, as there was total blackness. I was know in my mother's womb!

wow.. i like it.. ^_^

I really like it so far. The chapter just needs to be fleshed out a bit more. There's a lot going on and to really feel the story it needs to slow down a bit. At the moment it's a little rushed.

Cool, thank you..the second chapter, is going to be called "In my mother's womb!"

I am really interested in this part and i can't wait for the next parts!

Thanks for sharing!

That's very great..I hope u not make me waiting the chapter 2 now u have follower and she is me

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Here is an example of what I mean by the repeated “drafts” your work might (actually, "will") go through as you perfect the delivery of your tale. This is only ONE quick rewrite of your first two sentences. (I bolded them above) As you think on, and re-read your own words many times over a period of weeks and months, you will find that you are going to come up with entirely brand new ways of more eloquently saying what you initially wrote here.
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The happy sounds of a multitude of other children drifted through the warm, hazy semi-consciousness of my safe, secure dream world, gently rocking me to and fro. The peaceful slumber seemed to be accompanied by a far off lullaby softly hummed by an angel choir. Love enveloped me, and my little world was complete. Happy, content, and, I thought, the epitome of perfection.

Then, suddenly… total silence. I found myself abruptly snatched into the cold reality of awakened awareness.
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AND THEN…….. after you have finally rewritten your prose so many times, you are certain it is PERFECT, you will give the manuscript out to at least a dozen people, friends, professionals, stern critics, teachers, children, laborers, intellectuals. Etc. And they will each return your work with a thousand red-letter notes and suggestions.

Guess what? You get to start all over again, almost from scratch.

In short, your finished work may not even resemble what you began with. But that is good. You will be growing, learning, and becoming a writer who can reach many different audiences.

CHAPTER 2


IN MY MOTHER'S WOMB




THERE WAS DARKNESS, AND I STARTED CALMING DOWN. I WAS THAN VISITED WITH A VOICE THAT SPOKE TO ME SAYING, "DON'T TAKE YOUR BROTHER'S THRONE!" I WAS BAFFLED! "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DON'T TAKE MY BROTHER'S THRONE?" "WHO IS MY BROTHER?" BUT I HEARD NO MORE. I WAS THAN HIT REAL HARD ON MY HEAD, ENOUGH TO SNAP ME AWAKE. I SEEN THE INSIDE OF MY MOTHER'S STOMACH, THERE WAS MANY BLOOD VEINS, AND A PEACHY LIGHT FROM HER SKIN. I WENT TO MOVE, BUT FELT RESTRICTED IN SPACE. THAN I SAW MY TWIN BROTHER, AND ASKED HIM "WHO ARE YOU?" HE DID NOT ANSWER, JUST LAID THERE WITH HIS EYES CLOSED. I REMEMBER WONDERING IF HE WAS OKAY, AS I WAS AWAKE, BUT HE WAS NOT. I THAN STARTED POKING AT HIM, HE DID NOT LIKE THAT. AS HE FLEW INTO A RAGE, AND SCOLDED ME. NOT UNDERSTANDING WHERE THIS RAGE STEMMED FROM, I TOLD HIM THAT I DID NOT MEAN TO MAKE HIM ANGRY. HE TOLD ME, "WELL, I WAS SLEEPING!" STILL ANNOYED AT ME. I TOLD HIM, HIS ATTITUDE WAS NOT NICE. I ASKED HIM ABOUT WHAT HE KNEW ABOUT THE WORLD WE WERE ENTERING, AND HE SAID HE DID NOT. I TOLD HIM THAT I WAS GOING TO HELP JESUS, BECAUSE I WANT TO BE WITH GOD. HE THAN GOT MAD AT ME AGAIN, AS THOUGH I JUDGED HIM, AND HIT ME. IN MY MOTHER'S WOMB, I DID NOT YET LEARN ABOUT RESTRAINING MYSELF, OR SETTING MYSELF APART. I BEGAN WITH ANGER, AND HIT HIM BACK. THE WAR WAS ON! NOW MY MOTHER TOLD US, AS SHE WOULD LOVE TELLING US HOW HER PREGNANCY EFFECTED HER. SHE CARRIED US FOR 11 MONTHS, AND WOULD FIGHT ALL THE TIME. SHE TOLD US, AT ONE POINT, IT WAS LIKE WE BOTH STOOD STRAIGHT UP, AND NEARLY RIPPED HER STOMACH OPEN. WHEN IT CAME TIME TO BE DELIVERED, WE HAD ONE MORE FIGHT IN THE WOMB. HE TOLD ME, HE DID NOT WANT TO COME OUT. I TOLD HIM, "YOU HAVE TOO, AND YOU HAVE TO BE FIRST!" HE SAID, "I DO NOT HAVE TO GO FIRST, YOU GO FIRST!" I TOLD HIM, "NO!" HE BEGAN A STRUGGLE WITH ME, TRYING TO PUSH ME OUT FIRST. HE TRIED TO KICK ME OUT, AND HIT ME IN THE EYE. I WAS SO ANGRY, I RILED WITH FIRE, AND HIT HIM SO HARD..THAT HE WAS BORN FIRST, AS MEANT TO BE. HE WAS DELIVERED AT 4 PM, AND THE DOCTOR THOUGHT HE WAS DONE. THE DOCTOR WENT, AND DELIVERED ANOTHER WOMAN'S BABY. HE CAME BACK 8 MINUTES LATER, AND FOUND ME COMING OUT. I WAS TOLD, WE BOTH WERE BORN WITH A BLACK EYE, IN THE SAME EYE. IT WAS NOT UNTIL I GOT OLDER, THAT GOD SHOWED ME, THAT WE WERE TWO DIFFERENT NATIONS.

It was really good and i really enjoyed it

I am waiting for the next chapters. You've got a big fan now