Corny Jokes

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PepperJack

PepperJack

Senior Member
#1
Nov 19, 2011
113
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#1
Corny Jokes:
What do you call a bird that get caught in airplane propeller? Shredded Tweet of course!

What kind of bird that God did not create? A Jailbird!

Why did Billy go fishing after he saw the doctor? The doctor said he had worms!

Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar.

What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A loose Canon.

What do you call*the sound a dog makes when it’s choking*on a piece of its owner’s jewelry? A diamond in the ruff.

The smell of a deli can make you crave a sandwich subconsciously.

*Someone gave me the wrong directions to a massage parlor — it rubbed me the wrong way.

How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date? Bring her flours.

Time flies when you throw your obnoxious alarm clock across the room.

Now reader, it's your turn for your corny jokes.

PepperJack
 
U

Ultimatum77

Guest
#2
#2
A farmer saw a sheep crying one day and asked it what was wrong....the sheep replied he had a baaaaahhhd day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the KFC broiler....

Some from the web...

Really Corny Pun Jokes!

Q: What do you call it when a shoemaker drops his vegetables? A: Corn on the cobbler!

Q: What did one eye say to the other eye? A: Something smells between us!

Q:What do you call a mermaid on a roof? A: Aerial

Q: What is Dr. Jekyll when he is himself? A: De-hyde-rated!

Did you hear about the nun who quit? . . . she kicked her "Habit"!

You cannot run in a campground, you can only ran; because it is past tents!
 
tanakh

tanakh

Senior Member
#3
Dec 1, 2015
4,635
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#3
I never knew what happiness was until I got Married. It was too late then.

A man goes into a surgery and says Doctor I keep thinking I'm a Moth. The Doctor says You don't need me you need a Psychiatrist. The man replies I know but your lights were on.
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#4
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
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#4
who is better the priest the rabbi or the nun?

nun of them lol.
 
mailmandan

mailmandan

Senior Member
#5
Apr 7, 2014
25,043
13,049
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#5
What is the difference between Catholics and Baptists?

Catholics will actually acknowledge each other at the liquor store.
 
tanakh

tanakh

Senior Member
#6
Dec 1, 2015
4,635
1,040
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#6
Patient - Doctor I keep thinking I'm a Dog

Psychiatrist - lay down on the couch

Patient - I'm not allowed on the couch

A wife says to her Husband can we have Mother down for the Easter break The Husband replies well if you insist. The Wife replies she should come down she has been on the roof since Christmas.
 
E

Elle_Hall

Guest
#7
#7
Q: What is the ideal marriage?
A: One between a deaf man and a blind woman
 
Last edited by a moderator:
mailmandan

mailmandan

Senior Member
#8
Apr 7, 2014
25,043
13,049
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#8
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans!
 
tanakh

tanakh

Senior Member
#9
Dec 1, 2015
4,635
1,040
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#9
How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but it must really want to change.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#11
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
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Germany
#11
Bad Day

There I was, sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a really big, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener, and then my dog bit me, so I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, drop the capsule in it, and was sitting here watching the poison dissolve when you show up and drink the whole thing!! But enough about me, how's your day going?"
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#12
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#12
Why arent there any ants in churches??
Because theyre In-sects
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#13
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#13
There were two blonde woman sitting on a fence in oklahoma. Both look up at the fullmoon and one asks ' I got a question.. what is further away..the moon or florida?'' then the other turns around abruptly and says '' you idiot! can you see Florida from here?!''
 
G

GaryA

Guest
#15
#15
"I'm not surprised..." :p { "ouch!" :eek: }




















;)

( Just kidding... )

:)
 
mailmandan

mailmandan

Senior Member
#16
Apr 7, 2014
25,043
13,049
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#16
Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese!

Q: What did the baby corn say to its mom?
A: Where’s my pop corn?

Q: Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?
A: Because he was on a roll.

Now those are corny!
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#17
#17
A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant.
When it came time to pay,
the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck's bill
 
88

88

Senior Member
#18
Nov 14, 2016
3,517
77
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#18
PepperJack said:
Corny Jokes:
What do you call a bird that get caught in airplane propeller? Shredded Tweet of course!

What kind of bird that God did not create? A Jailbird!

Why did Billy go fishing after he saw the doctor? The doctor said he had worms!

Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar.

What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A loose Canon.

What do you call*the sound a dog makes when it’s choking*on a piece of its owner’s jewelry? A diamond in the ruff.

The smell of a deli can make you crave a sandwich subconsciously.

*Someone gave me the wrong directions to a massage parlor — it rubbed me the wrong way.

How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date? Bring her flours.

Time flies when you throw your obnoxious alarm clock across the room.

Now reader, it's your turn for your corny jokes.

PepperJack
Click to expand...
***I heard UPS and Fed X are going to merge***it will be called Fed Up...
 
G

gb9

Senior Member
#19
Jan 18, 2011
11,726
6,317
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#19
a guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. the bartender says " hey, you can't be in here with those on". the guy says, " oh, don't worry, I won't try to start anything."
 
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