need some advice

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
R

rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#1
I just found out that my marriage to my wife is adultery. She had been married 2 times before. I don't know if her first two marriages had any sexual immorality involved. This is my first marriage. I was wondering if I am supposed to divorce her since I'm living in adultery now due to her? My next question is if I have to divorce her due to living in adultery can I get remarried to someone else or do I have to remain single? Would me remarrying be adultery is basically what I'm asking.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#2
Personally, I think you need your butt kicked for letting "Religion" make a mockery of your thinking. (But that's just my opinion.)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,234
16,243
113
69
Tennessee
#3
How is it that you have just found out about your wife's previous 2 marriages? I don't believe that your having a guilty conscious is cause for destroying yet another marriage. Unless your wife has been unfaithful to you there is no strict biblical grounds for you to be remarried to another should this marriage end in divorce. I would just give all of this to God and do the best that you can to be a loving and faithful husband.
 
R

rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#4
I'm trying to follow what the bible says about adultery willie. I don't want to live in sin. My marriage is considered adultery correct. According to the bible marrying a woman who had been married and divorced for reasons other than sexual immorality is adultery right?
I was then asking since I am in an adulterous marriage am I able to remarry and it not be considered adultery. I don't see anything wrong with my questions. I'm not mocking anything. I'm sorry you feel that way. Answer me this how does someone find out without asking? I am trying to get right before God. If I'm living in sin I must turn from it. I was then trying to make sure I don't go back to living in sin by asking my question about if I can remarry and if that marriage would be considered adultery or not.
 
R

rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#5
I knew before hand she was married before. I was recently saved. I didn't realize I was committing adultery until I was reading my Bible and read what Jesus said of adultery. Hopefully that clears that up.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,234
16,243
113
69
Tennessee
#6
I knew before hand she was married before. I was recently saved. I didn't realize I was committing adultery until I was reading my Bible and read what Jesus said of adultery. Hopefully that clears that up.
My advice is to just make the best of it.
 

HS

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2016
672
11
18
#7
A lot of people struggle over this one. I would really like to see some good answers to this subject. My Mum was divorced before she married Dad not for sexual immorality either.
 
W

WarriorForChrist

Guest
#8
I knew before hand she was married before. I was recently saved. I didn't realize I was committing adultery until I was reading my Bible and read what Jesus said of adultery. Hopefully that clears that up.
The way I see it is this way. Adultery is a sin so therefore treat it as a sin. Now you are in a binding relationship and God wouldn't want you to cause more sin by divorcing her. I think the common sense rule applies here. I don't believe you are living in sin daily by being married to her. If that was the case then I think a lot of people would be getting divorces in our world. There is already too much of that going on now.

Now I know you have mentioned your wife doesn't approve of your new found faith. Don't use this as a way out of your marriage.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#9
I'm trying to follow what the bible says about adultery willie. I don't want to live in sin. My marriage is considered adultery correct. According to the bible marrying a woman who had been married and divorced for reasons other than sexual immorality is adultery right?
I was then asking since I am in an adulterous marriage am I able to remarry and it not be considered adultery. I don't see anything wrong with my questions. I'm not mocking anything. I'm sorry you feel that way. Answer me this how does someone find out without asking? I am trying to get right before God. If I'm living in sin I must turn from it. I was then trying to make sure I don't go back to living in sin by asking my question about if I can remarry and if that marriage would be considered adultery or not.
As the Westboro Baptist haters prove with their insanity, you can "follow what the Bible says" to justify just about anything you choose. A suggestion: Try listening, instead, to Jesus.
 
R

rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#10
I am not. I was just trying to understand the situation. I wasn't sure if I was living in sin. That's my primary concern. I love my wife. I do not wish to divorce her. I just was trying to ensure I am upholding to the standards written in the Bible set by God.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#11
I am not. I was just trying to understand the situation. I wasn't sure if I was living in sin. That's my primary concern. I love my wife. I do not wish to divorce her. I just was trying to ensure I am upholding to the standards written in the Bible set by God.
Truthfully, there are at least a dozen of us on here who have enough training and familiarity with the specific words written in the Bible to "prove" almost ANYTHING you can name... and we can take either tack you name, pro or con, and make it sound like the Bible absolutely endorses whichever way you want it to be.

This is what the Pharisees did..... NOT the way Jesus told us to understand and use His words.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#12
Rdb, I don't want to hurt your feelings, I've read some of your posts and you seem like a nice person. But you seem very, I'm not sure what the right word is, maybe anxious about being a new Christian and that's normal in a way, but I think you need to step back and breathe. Do you really think Jesus would want you to divorce your wife? You knew about her past before you married her. I understand your curiosity, but common sense should tell you no.

I'm really not trying to hurt you.
 
R

rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#13
That's true Willie. I am just trying to be sure I'm walking right with God. That's why I asked. I am trying to not fall into the whole theology of the Pharisees or westboro baptist people. When I read the bible certain situations like this come up. I try to make sure I'm doing right by God. The only ways to know for sure is reading the Bible to receive truth or to pray to God for understanding or explain if I am doing things correct or not.
 
Jul 25, 2015
893
44
28
#14
Roger I can empathize with your situation and am sorry you have to walk through this. I have no doubt that many will respond with scripture to back up and defend their stance on options presented to you. I just want to say that you mentioned you married your wife before you were saved. When scripture addresses being unequally yoked in marriage it speaks to the pain and stress resulting from it but also that a believer must not divorce a non believing spouse. I am not implying your wife is a non believer but hope that you continue to prayfully seek Gods guidance. All things are possible through Christ and although I have an opinion I honestly think its inappropriate to impose on you. I hope you earnestly seek Gods opinion.

I will be praying for you and your wife. I realize this wasnt the advice you were asking for. Im sorry.
 
R

rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#15
You didn't hurt my feelings fenner. I understand where you are coming from. I just keep finding things I'm doing that are sins. I thought it might be best to get a handle of all things that are considered sins. I know I am human and grace covers me. It doesn't give me license to sin. I don't like being in ignorance. So that is why I'm trying to find out if any actions I am doing are sins so I can at least try to prevent them. I know I will fail and still sin, but being aware of what to do or not do is important to me. Maybe this is making me a sin hunter and causing undo stress. Plus I can see where it can cloud my focus from putting God first. I'll try to relax. I need to just hand it over to God.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#16
That's true Willie. I am just trying to be sure I'm walking right with God. That's why I asked. I am trying to not fall into the whole theology of the Pharisees or westboro baptist people. When I read the bible certain situations like this come up. I try to make sure I'm doing right by God. The only ways to know for sure is reading the Bible to receive truth or to pray to God for understanding or explain if I am doing things correct or not.
Yet, repeatedly, you come here to ask us.

How is that letting God lead you?

Now, don't get me wrong. Unlike some folks, I firmly believe in seeking out the advice of people who have devoted their lives to studying these things. But, I do something you might consider.......... Whenever I think I have seen something specific in the Bible, I not only look for confirmation from others, but I ALSO look for those who will tell me just the opposite. I actually seek out detractors to see if they can prove what I am seeing as a truth to be wrong and false.

Always, you will find people making noise, but really spend hours and hours, reading... until you feel you thoroughly understand (as much as you can, of course) all sides of issues. (And, I don't mean simply reading forum posts. LOL)
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#17
You didn't hurt my feelings fenner. I understand where you are coming from. I just keep finding things I'm doing that are sins. I thought it might be best to get a handle of all things that are considered sins. I know I am human and grace covers me. It doesn't give me license to sin. I don't like being in ignorance. So that is why I'm trying to find out if any actions I am doing are sins so I can at least try to prevent them. I know I will fail and still sin, but being aware of what to do or not do is important to me. Maybe this is making me a sin hunter and causing undo stress. Plus I can see where it can cloud my focus from putting God first. I'll try to relax. I need to just hand it over to God.
I'm really glad I didn't hurt your feelings. I hope you have people at church who can help you understand the Bible too. I took a class in college where I had to write a paper after reading each book in the Bible. It was called literature of the Bible. It was tough but it helped me understand it a little better. I can't say my papers were always fantastic, fortunate had a really good teacher who explained things well.
 
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#18
I just found out that my marriage to my wife is adultery. She had been married 2 times before. I don't know if her first two marriages had any sexual immorality involved. This is my first marriage. I was wondering if I am supposed to divorce her since I'm living in adultery now due to her? My next question is if I have to divorce her due to living in adultery can I get remarried to someone else or do I have to remain single? Would me remarrying be adultery is basically what I'm asking.
I don’t know if this will help or not:

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery. Matt 19:9 RSV

I think you should think this over carefully. A lot of prayer would help.
 
B

BurlyCarl

Guest
#19
Whoa slow down there mister. Reading though the conversation. You didn't know... Then you knew she was married. So which is it truthfully? Knowing? Or not knowing? Its one or the other and not both.

Don't end your marriage. Just because she has been married twice does not mean she can not be forgiven. So lets not go off contacting the personal attorney just yet. I am not telling you to divorce or make excuses for sin. Stop for a moment and realize that you can have a great Christian relationship with her. You could be the one who saves her into eternity! All of the wonderful things in a Christian relationship that you could be holding the invitation. Life is not always beautiful or the way we would like it. That is for certain. Look at this way. If you make one sin. She noticed it and wanted instant Judgement. How would you feel? If your with out sin... Please by all means throw the stone in the glass house. I can say. If she has not committed adultery against you. Since your the day you were married. Don't leave or you will be committing adultery.

Let not jump to conclusions.
 
R

rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#20
I knew she had been married before. However, I did not know the biblical ramifications until recently. See I married her almost 2 years ago. I got saved just over a month ago. I do not want to divorce her period. I was just trying to figure out biblically speaking what I should do in this situation. My knowledge of the Bible is not great to be honest. I have trouble understanding things sometimes. I was trying to figure out what I should do from a biblical stand point. Like I said though I love my wife, but I love God more. I was just trying to see if what is going on being married to a woman who has divorced twice is ok according to the bible. I know the only reason you can divorce is with sexual immorality. So I was trying to figure out if my situation is considered living in sin. Her divorce circumstances are not known to me. I love her and chose to marry her. I plan on upholding my covenant with God.