Dealing with people you can't avoid.

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Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#1
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#1
I know the title doesn't sound very kind, but I think everyone has worked with someone or had a family member that was very self centered and there is no way to avoid them.

My my question is, how do you deal with them? How do you deal with the person who has an adult temper tantrum and behaves like a whiny child when they don't get their way? Or you're scheduled for a time to use a room and they act like you're time isn't important but if they need this space at a certain time and if you're in there one minute longer than you should be, they act like you just burnt down their house. I have for the last few years dealt with this person in a very polite calm like matter because the audience around us (children) don't need to see two adults behave in that manner.

I can feel the tension building in me and a I don't know if I'll be able to keep my mouth shut. I get along with person very well in general but when she starts her stuff I want to scream, it's not all about you! One million times. Should I heavily medicate myself before I have to see her? Lol.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#2
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#2
Good luck. I could spout all the "Christian" rhetoric I want, trying to make you think something other than the truth, but I still haven't mastered it.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#3
#3
Possible issues with the person

1) Stressed out worried
2) Is use to getting own way
3) Has some degree of autism
4) Lacks social skills generally
5) Has anger issues
6) Some people just want life to revolve around them

Either way the problem is their's not yours so just ignore it. Or you could have a quiet word
away from the children when everything is calm and ask why they get so upset, can you help
them etc, is anything troubling them.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#4
#4
Fenner said:
I know the title doesn't sound very kind, but I think everyone has worked with someone or had a family member that was very self centered and there is no way to avoid them.

My my question is, how do you deal with them? How do you deal with the person who has an adult temper tantrum and behaves like a whiny child when they don't get their way? Or you're scheduled for a time to use a room and they act like you're time isn't important but if they need this space at a certain time and if you're in there one minute longer than you should be, they act like you just burnt down their house. I have for the last few years dealt with this person in a very polite calm like matter because the audience around us (children) don't need to see two adults behave in that manner.

I can feel the tension building in me and a I don't know if I'll be able to keep my mouth shut. I get along with person very well in general but when she starts her stuff I want to scream, it's not all about you! One million times. Should I heavily medicate myself before I have to see her? Lol.
Click to expand...
Pitch a fit yourself next time she goes off the handle;), no, seriously, those folks aint gonna change, you just need to adjust or avoid...
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#5
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,268
113
#5
I've been in this type of situation lots of times. Only advice I can give is to simply take it one day at a time, and if an opportunity arises where that person needs some emotional support or something, help lift them up if you can. That may or may not make them treat you better..
 
E

EarsToHear

Senior Member
#6
Jan 14, 2016
340
8
0
#6
2 Thessalonians 3:15 Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.


Correct your Christian brother [father, mother or sister] when he [she] strays; he is not an enemy, and the purpose of the correction is to bring him back in fellowship with God, and the congregation.
 
hornetguy

hornetguy

Senior Member
#7
Jan 18, 2016
6,646
1,396
113
#7
my first attempt at posting a gif... hope it works... but this is what you should do.... lol


giphy.jpg

rats... apparently didn't work...
 
hornetguy

hornetguy

Senior Member
#8
Jan 18, 2016
6,646
1,396
113
#8
so, does anyone know how to post a gif?
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#9
Jul 3, 2015
55,874
26,035
113
#9
hornetguy said:
so, does anyone know how to post a gif?
Click to expand...
If you post it directly from the url it should work :)

Like so:


Make sure to click off Retrieve remote file and reference locally

Otherwise, if you have it saved to your computer, check to see if it is
active by using the advanced function preview before posting :D
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#10
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
57
48
#10
Miri said:
6) Some people just want life to revolve around them
Click to expand...
SO true - Some people are so Toxic that they don't realize how Toxic they have become . Proceed with caution . Do not avoid the red flags .
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#11
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#11
Magenta said:
If you post it directly from the url it should work :)

Like so:


Make sure to click off Retrieve remote file and reference locally

Otherwise, if you have it saved to your computer, check to see if it is
active by using the advanced function preview before posting :D
Click to expand...
Where is that located?
 
Corbinscam

Corbinscam

Senior Member
#12
Jul 17, 2016
560
35
28
#12
I'm kind of in the thick of a similar situation. In the end you can't change how another person behaves but you can change your response to it. I realized that half of her tantrums were to get a desired reaction out of me and I try my best to never react now. In the beginning it honestly made her worse because she can't get her way.....but it feels awesome to mostly be rid of her drama.
 
Last edited:
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#13
Jul 3, 2015
55,874
26,035
113
#13
Willie-T said:
Where is that located?
Click to expand...
Where is what located? When you go to post a pic, you have two options. One is from a url, and under the text field for the url address is a little check box. The box is clicked, so unclick it. (Oh I see now you enlarged this part: Retrieve remote file and reference locally)

Then to make sure your gif is active if you are posting from your computer, for one, make sure it is actually a gif (it may have save din another format). Then, to see if it is really "alive" instead of Post Quick Reply option, use "Go Advanced" and you will see the image. :) If it is working properly as a gif you will see it moving :)

 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#14
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#14
Magenta said:
Where is what located? When you go to post a pic, you have two options. One is from a url, and under the text field for the url address is a little check box. The box is clicked, so unclick it. (Oh I see now you enlarged this part: Retrieve remote file and reference locally)

Then to make sure your gif is active if you are posting from your computer, for one, make sure it is actually a gif (it may have save din another format). Then, to see if it is really "alive" instead of Post Quick Reply option, use "Go Advanced" and you will see the image. :) If it is working properly as a gif you will see it moving :)

Click to expand...
But you did not say to post it through the "IMAGE" function ICON. You said to post it directly from the URL (which is the address of the site you got it from) What you said came across as, "Go to the site, copy the URL address, and then paste that URL address directly into the REPLY box on this forum."
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#15
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#15
She's friendly to everyone, I think a lot of it is stress she causes herself. Not being prepared and then just expecting things to fall into place. When it doesn't she gets very frazzled and will interrupt and it's chaotic. It's something that could be avoided if she communicated and planned. Our work environment generally isn't stressful. But we have to share space and supplies and you have to be mindful of that. We've all actually talked to her about this a nice way, but it's the same old stuff year after year. Oh well, I'll just deal with it, lol.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#16
Jul 3, 2015
55,874
26,035
113
#16
Sorry for the derail of your thread Fenner. I wish I had some wise advice to share with you to help you handle people who are the way you have described., but alas, I do not. It is likely they suffer from some aberration such as manic depression or another undesirable pathology such as narcissism. I used to make all kinds of allowances for people because I can see myself in almost anyone, but people need to learn how to respect the boundaries of others. Otherwise they are just boors; rude, obnoxious, unaware, selfish, self centered creeps, and if they take it too far, criminals. They don't care who they hurt as long as they get what they want. Lack of empathy and insightful self reflection likely play a role, and those things cannot be forced upon another. Family dynamics do actually progress into the criminal far too often.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#17
Jul 3, 2015
55,874
26,035
113
#17
Willie-T said:
But you did not say to post it through the "IMAGE" function ICON. You said to post it directly from the URL (which is the address of the site you got it from) What you said came across as, "Go to the site, copy the URL address, and then paste that URL address directly into the REPLY box on this forum."
Click to expand...
Sorry, I did rather skip over that but thought it was known, and I did say

When you go to post a pic, you have two options.

You must go through the icon to post an image, yes :)

Plus I was talking to hornetguy and he obviously knew that part ;)
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#19
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#19
Tell her if she complains like a brat one more time in your presence, you will duct tape her mouth shut, tie her up and put her on a fire ant's anthill.. lol jk :eek:

Seriously, be honest with her. Tell her it's not always about her, and that your time is valuable also. And tell her that she needs to value other people's time as much as she values her own..
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#20
Jul 3, 2015
55,874
26,035
113
#20
Oh, and not just family dynamics, but work dynamics cross into criminal behavior as well. I had a co-worker assault (and battery) me once because I asked her a question by way of making a work-related request, and she did not like it. She was eventually fired but then a couple of years later rehired. Water under the bridge, right? It was, mostly, but then came another breaking point, when I was asking her to please close the lunch room door behind her when she left the room. It actually came down to her hollering at me that she did not care what I wanted. This from someone I have worked with for over thirty years. My way of handling her stubborn lack of consideration was to stop eating in the lunch room. Obviously, nothing else was going to work.
 
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