Requiem for Howard

Dear Howard

I know that you had been complaining to me about my dilapidated barn for years. Tear it down you said, shore it up you said, for heaven sake give it a new coat of paint you said..... But NOOOOOO... You refused to give me time to comply with your demands.

I think taking matters into your own hands was a little bit out of line and driving your truck into the roof of said barn shows that it was in much better condition than you first thought as if you were still with us you would see that my barn is still standing but now it is truly an eye sore as your truck which is a clunker by the way is now a hood ornament for my barn.

You gave your all and I will give it to you that you were 100% committed into bringing my barn down... But look what it cost you.... By the way your welcome as my wife tells me you are singing in the heavenly choir now with the angels. If it hadn't been for my barn you'd still be stuck down here on earth with the rest of us.

Your little dog is still chasing my chickens by the way and is too fast for me to catch.... But I promise you said dog will soon be in heaven with you. Now where did I put that shotgun?

Sincerely,

Ole McDonald

Poor Howard failed to heed the most important rule...

No dunkin and driving

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Howard

Howard was a bad driver in the end, sadly ruining his otherwise spotless driving record.

Unlike many other endless bad drivers, Howard took only himself out during his attempt to slingshot around the earth and fling himself towards heaven

Howard didn't complain about his lackluster life; as many of you know, he actually set a good example for the most part...his almost flawless driving record and his ability to slow down just before doughnut shops and large billboards, was legend among street people and stray cats. Local law enforcement would smile and wave as he passed, not seeing the slow trickle of nervous sweat winding down his face or the slight shake of his hand engaged in waving back.

No one knew of the quiet family life he lived...because it was quiet.

When Howard was finally pulled from his vehicle, one witness close to him at the time, insisted that Howard was using colorful language, but no one believed that. Shortly after he was placed into the ambulance, he stopped breathing..he was resuscitated briefly, apparently had nothing nice to say, and closed his eyes for the last time just 10 minutes short of the hospital.

There will be a memorial service where memories will be served; the family is still trying to find anyone with memories...of Howard.

The farmer into whose barn Howard elevated his car wishes to keep the vehicle as inspiration to future local astronauts.

This thread may find itself oblivious of responses, another sad tribute to Howard.