Requiem for Howard

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#1
#1
Howard

Howard was a bad driver in the end, sadly ruining his otherwise spotless driving record.

Unlike many other endless bad drivers, Howard took only himself out during his attempt to slingshot around the earth and fling himself towards heaven

Howard didn't complain about his lackluster life; as many of you know, he actually set a good example for the most part...his almost flawless driving record and his ability to slow down just before doughnut shops and large billboards, was legend among street people and stray cats. Local law enforcement would smile and wave as he passed, not seeing the slow trickle of nervous sweat winding down his face or the slight shake of his hand engaged in waving back.

No one knew of the quiet family life he lived...because it was quiet.

When Howard was finally pulled from his vehicle, one witness close to him at the time, insisted that Howard was using colorful language, but no one believed that. Shortly after he was placed into the ambulance, he stopped breathing..he was resuscitated briefly, apparently had nothing nice to say, and closed his eyes for the last time just 10 minutes short of the hospital.

There will be a memorial service where memories will be served; the family is still trying to find anyone with memories...of Howard.

The farmer into whose barn Howard elevated his car wishes to keep the vehicle as inspiration to future local astronauts.

This thread may find itself oblivious of responses, another sad tribute to Howard.



 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#2
The only family member with memories of Howard was his little dog. He didn't say much when told that his daddy had taken a detour but he did wag his tail a little.
 
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#3
#3
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#4
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#4
Apparently Howard was a good driver gone bad. He forgot to put his helmet on.
 
Huglife

Huglife

Senior Member
#5
Aug 15, 2016
2,543
50
48
#5
Howard is now slingshoting around the Earth in Heaven.
 
Huglife

Huglife

Senior Member
#6
Aug 15, 2016
2,543
50
48
#6
I can't believe you actually made this thread lol
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#8
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#8
LaurenTM said:
Howard

Howard was a bad driver in the end, sadly ruining his otherwise spotless driving record.

Unlike many other endless bad drivers, Howard took only himself out during his attempt to slingshot around the earth and fling himself towards heaven

Howard didn't complain about his lackluster life; as many of you know, he actually set a good example for the most part...his almost flawless driving record and his ability to slow down just before doughnut shops and large billboards, was legend among street people and stray cats. Local law enforcement would smile and wave as he passed, not seeing the slow trickle of nervous sweat winding down his face or the slight shake of his hand engaged in waving back.

No one knew of the quiet family life he lived...because it was quiet.

When Howard was finally pulled from his vehicle, one witness close to him at the time, insisted that Howard was using colorful language, but no one believed that. Shortly after he was placed into the ambulance, he stopped breathing..he was resuscitated briefly, apparently had nothing nice to say, and closed his eyes for the last time just 10 minutes short of the hospital.

There will be a memorial service where memories will be served; the family is still trying to find anyone with memories...of Howard.

The farmer into whose barn Howard elevated his car wishes to keep the vehicle as inspiration to future local astronauts.

This thread may find itself oblivious of responses, another sad tribute to Howard.



Click to expand...


I can't stop laughing!
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#9
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#9
Slingshot in Peace Howard.
 
Huglife

Huglife

Senior Member
#10
Aug 15, 2016
2,543
50
48
#10
Thank you Louren for reminding us of the poor driver Howard
 
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#12
#12
tourist said:
Probably having a sugar high from eating a whole box of Munchkins from Dunkin' Donuts.
Click to expand...

thanks Tourist...

I suspect Howie may have eaten a good dozen of the big doughnuts...the big doughie ones with the raisins and stuff

probably licking his fingers too

suppose he was eating them, licking the sugar off his fingers, and accelerated too soon?
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#14
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#14
To bad too cause the try outs for Evel Knievel replacements didn't go so well for Howard.... Nice try.... bigger ramp next time.
 
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#16
#16
JesusLives said:
To bad too cause the try outs for Evel Knievel replacements didn't go so well for Howard.... Nice try.... bigger ramp next time.
Click to expand...
bigger ramp could mean he hits the moon, but alas, he is no longer 'with' us

our thoughts are with the family

and the poor little dog of course
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#17
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#17


Dear Howard

I know that you had been complaining to me about my dilapidated barn for years. Tear it down you said, shore it up you said, for heaven sake give it a new coat of paint you said..... But NOOOOOO... You refused to give me time to comply with your demands.

I think taking matters into your own hands was a little bit out of line and driving your truck into the roof of said barn shows that it was in much better condition than you first thought as if you were still with us you would see that my barn is still standing but now it is truly an eye sore as your truck which is a clunker by the way is now a hood ornament for my barn.

You gave your all and I will give it to you that you were 100% committed into bringing my barn down... But look what it cost you.... By the way your welcome as my wife tells me you are singing in the heavenly choir now with the angels. If it hadn't been for my barn you'd still be stuck down here on earth with the rest of us.

Your little dog is still chasing my chickens by the way and is too fast for me to catch.... But I promise you said dog will soon be in heaven with you. Now where did I put that shotgun?

Sincerely,

Ole McDonald
 
Last edited:
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#18
#18
JesusLives said:


Dear Howard

I know that you had been complaining to me about my dilapidated barn for years. Tear it down you said, shore it up you said, for heaven sake give it a new coat of paint you said..... But NOOOOOO... You refused to give me time to comply with your demands.

I think taking matters into your own hands was a little bit out of line and driving your truck into the roof of said barn shows that it was in much better condition than you first thought as if you were still with us you would see that my barn is still standing but now it is truly an eye sore as your truck which is a clunker by the way is now a hood ornament for my barn.

You gave your all and I will give it to you that you were 100% committed into bringing my barn down... But look what it cost you.... By the way your welcome as my wife tells me you are singing in the heavenly choir now with the angels. If it hadn't been for my barn you'd still be stuck down here on earth with the rest of us.

Your little dog is still chasing my chickens by the way and is too fast for me to catch.... But I promise you said dog will soon be in heaven with you. Now where did I put that shotgun?

Sincerely,

Ole McDonald
Click to expand...

I think you have Howie mixed up with his cousin Luke Warm

Howie was very religious and simply wanted to leave this world

I would say his objective was fulfilled

now Luke, on the other hand, knew nothing about the slingshot method for closing the distance between two heavenly bodies so it would seem far more likely that he is actually the one that would have desired to damage the property of other folks

If you look closely at the image, you will see that it is actually a car and not a truck that is embedded in the barn

Howie never drove trucks as he was short and they intimidated him.

you should also know, that his dog never chased chickens as he is a vegetarian.

perhaps farmer M has lost track of his own hounds?
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#19
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#19
Howard didn't drive too fast, he flew too low.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.