Smartest Man In the Bible?

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Mar 11, 2016
3,055
241
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Singapore
abigail.pro
#1
Abraham. He knew a Lot.

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Sorry, that's an old joke. This is a thread for bible jokes. I don't believe that jokes are from the devil. If you do, please find another thread. (And I know there were a few threads like this before but who wants to spend all that time searching for zombie threads) xD.

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Your turn.
 
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#2
Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah was standing on the deck.
How does Paul make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#3
How long did Cain hate his Brother? As long as he was Abel.
 
U

Ultimatum77

Guest
#4
Why did the disciples drive a honda?
B/c they were all in one Accord.....
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#5
Why did the disciples drive a honda?
B/c they were all in one Accord.....
This one really made me laugh. We could also say they were doing their Civic duty, ha ha.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#8
1.God spoke ''I will place a good man on each corner of the earth''
Then he made the earth round and laughed.

2. A Catholic priest and a lady meet at the airport.
The woman goes to the Priest and says: father please would you do me a favour?
Priest: sure my child, what can I do for you?
Woman: I bought this new hair dryer and it was very expensive. I dont think I will get this through the customs. If you were to hide it under your garments they would surely not question you..
Priest: Sure I will do this for you my Child but I tell you I will NOT lie.
..So the priest went into the customs and one of the Security came to him.
Security : Hello Father. Do you have anything under this robe we should know about?
Priest: From my waist up there is nothing that would be a concern for you.
Security: and from your waist down?
Priest: From my waist down there is a strange device new and yet to this day, unused.

The Security laughed and let him go.
 
U

Ultimatum77

Guest
#9
Some good ones from this website....

http://margaretfeinberg.com/23-of-the-best-bible-jokes-riddles/

What animal could Noah not trust?
A Cheetah.....

What kind of man was boaz before he married ruth?
Ruthless.....

[FONT=&quot]Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A. In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court. [Tweet this][/FONT]
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
25,001
13,008
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#12
Question: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Answer: Samson. He brought the house down.

Question: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Answer: Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
 

Ahwatukee

Senior Member
Mar 12, 2015
11,162
2,380
113
#13
Question: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Answer: Samson. He brought the house down.

Question: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Answer: Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Let's give a big hand for mailmandan ladies and gentlemen! He be here all week! *Rim shot*
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
25,001
13,008
113
58
#14
Question: Why did God create man before woman?
Answer: Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

Question: Where is the first math homework problem mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
12,820
8,596
113
#15
My wife smacks me when I tell this one...


Did you know there are no women in Heaven?

We know this cause in Revelation it says there will be silence in Heaven for a half an hour!
 
May 14, 2016
99
5
0
#16
To all the ladies in the forum.....let's all stand in line behind Penn Ed's wife and take a number behind his wife in support of her!
 
B

BeyondET

Guest
#17
Proverbs 21:19
It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
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#20
in the Bible, they really don't make such comparisons, it's about 'righteousness' -
Paul says, 'Don't compare yourselves one with the other'...

we who Love Christ know that He is our standard, and no man...