food for thought , light to the soul, inspirational quotes or thoughts poem s

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royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#41
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
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#41
[HR][/HR]



[HR][/HR][h=1]church humor[/h]
In his beautiful book, "I Shall Not Want," Robert Ketchum tells of a Sunday School teacher who asked her group of children if anyone could quote the entire 23rd Psalm. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands.
A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could really quote the entire psalm.
The little girl came to the front of the room, faced the class, made a perky little bow, and said, "The Lord is my shepherd, that's all I want."
She bowed again and went and sat down.
That may well be the greatest interpretation of the 23rd Psalm ever heard.



 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#42
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
18
0
#42
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.
“The front row please.” she answered.
“You really don’t want to do that”, the usher said, “The pastor is really boring.”
“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.
“No.” he said.
“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
“No.” she said.
“Good,” he answered.
 
M

Mooky

Guest
#43
#43
blue_ladybug said:
Don't go to bed angry. Stay up all night and plot a horrible revenge..

LOL
Click to expand...
That should be :" Dont go to bed angry OR plot a horrible revenge.Make a hearty meal and bless your enemy with it! ";)
 
BillG

BillG

Senior Member
#46
Feb 15, 2017
8,879
4,334
113
#46
Mooky said:
That should be :" Dont go to bed angry OR plot a horrible revenge.Make a hearty meal and bless your enemy with it! ";)
Click to expand...
Ooh, just think of the things you could put in it.
 
M

Mooky

Guest
#47
#47
Love your signature Bill.;)
 
AllenW

AllenW

Senior Member
#49
Apr 20, 2016
1,450
70
48
#49
royalscot said:
[HR][/HR]



[HR][/HR]church humor


In his beautiful book, "I Shall Not Want," Robert Ketchum tells of a Sunday School teacher who asked her group of children if anyone could quote the entire 23rd Psalm. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands.
A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could really quote the entire psalm.
The little girl came to the front of the room, faced the class, made a perky little bow, and said, "The Lord is my shepherd, that's all I want."
She bowed again and went and sat down.
That may well be the greatest interpretation of the 23rd Psalm ever heard.
Click to expand...
That's beautiful.
I think it shows little children can be saved on their own.
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#52
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
18
0
#52
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages that it indeed says... "HEBREWS"
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#53
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
#53
royalscot said:
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages that it indeed says... "HEBREWS"
Click to expand...
Yeah, it does say that the husband brews the coffee. I brewed a pot this morning. Of course, I'm the only one drinking it.
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#54
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
18
0
#54
[h=1]christian one liners[/h]
-- Author unknown
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion."
If the church wants a better preacher, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
If your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is doing, you should consider running for a job in Washington, DC.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who angers you, controls you!
If God is your Copilot - swap seats!
Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
"Father, bless this person in whatever it is that You know he or she may be needing this day! Amen!"
Don't keep the faith... spread it around!!!

 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#55
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
18
0
#55
[h=1]friendship[/h]
-- Author unknown
Have you ever met a person
That fulfilled you deep inside...
Someone who's never failed you
And stands, no matter what, always by your side.
Someone who gives from their heart
Who brings sunshine all around...
Always smiling and laughing,
Never seeming down.
Have you ever watched a sunset
Across the ocean shore...
And been filled with love and peace,
Never needing more?
Have you ever listened to the wind
Blowing restlessly through the night...
And heard the angel's whispers
Helping you to see when you've lost sight?
Have you heard a song that moves you
And sets your soul free...
Makes you forget your pain and anger
Or makes you feel wild and happy?
Have you ever given to someone
When you didn't have it to spare...
And afterwards felt so worthy inside,
That you didn't have a care?
You see my friend, heavenly creatures surround you,
So listen closely to what they say...
They'll bring you all of life's riches,
As they guide you along your way.

 
G

Galatea

Guest
#59
#59
gratitude.jpg

If you live in the West, you are already rich in comparison with the rest of the world.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#60
#60
royalscot said:
Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.


His wife asks, "Where are you going?"


"To the kitchen," he replies.


"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"


"Sure."


"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.


"No, I can remember it."


"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down, because you know you'll forget it."


He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."


"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts.


Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream -- I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.


After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.


She stares at the plate for a moment and says... "Where's my toast?
Click to expand...
This is our marriage. (Except neither of us thinks it has to be written down. lol)
 
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