I have four children and sometimes I feel guilty. I made the decision to have kids before any of this occurred to me. Everybody sins and most sinners never accept Christ as Lord, even most who do will not achieve maturity. This leads to selfish living and the spreading of pain and the possibility that they too will one day have kids that perpetuate pain and sin. The question is, would it be morally responsible to avoid having children? I just see all of the current struggles that they face and know down the road that there will be even more. Even if I am not the source of their pain, did I not invite this on them by selfishly having children? I know all we can do is pray and hope that they will find truth, but I wonder if my life would have been better utilized cleaning up the mess already present, rather then adding to it.
An Ethical Riddle for Those Who Like to Think
- Thread starter Hungry
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Hopefully it is obvious that I love my children dearly. That's the point! Because I wanted a family, I invited these little wonders to take part in the curse. Statistically, most are never going to choose Christ. The question may have been better stated, since there is so much pain around, should I have mentored someone already born and could have put my resources into that child? By having my own, I added sin, because people are sinful? I'm trying to look at this logically, not emotionally. My children bring me great joy, but also, they suffer naturally because this world sucks. If they had never been born, they would not be faced with the decision to choose Christ. It is possible that one day my children may reject the gift of salvation. There may be one that I love dearly, tormented for eternity because I chose to be a dad.
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
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You're looking at it backwards. Are you a glass is half empty sort of fellow? It's God who chose to give you kids. For you to care for and to raise in the way they should go so that they will not depart from it later on. Why assume they will choose incorrectly?
Apparently God thinks it worth the risk in order to have a family of His own to spend eternity with. You should too.
Apparently God thinks it worth the risk in order to have a family of His own to spend eternity with. You should too.
God hears and answers all prayer. Say a prayer for your children's salvation. God will hear this prayer even before He created the universe. He will certainly answer it. Then rest your mind on this.
Having children is not selfish, in fact, it often requires much sacrifice to raise them.
Unless you are God you can't know how many statistically will not chose to accept the shed blood of Jesus on the cross for their sins.
Having children is not selfish, in fact, it often requires much sacrifice to raise them.
Unless you are God you can't know how many statistically will not chose to accept the shed blood of Jesus on the cross for their sins.
Hi Hungry,
I understand what you mean. I have even think of my grandkids too.
The Lord is the one who said children are blessings. They may not turn out to be believers and live for God, but they had the opportunity to do so. They may share in eternal life in Christ. That's our hope.
It was God's hope that all would love, serve and worship Him. But how quickly His creation went there own way to serve other gods and commit idolatry.
He even wanted to get rid of the nation He called as His own at Mount Sinai.
Out of love He keeps calling us back to Him. He's patient and full of lovingkindness, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance.
So with God, He knew that the majority of the world would reject Him. He knows all who are a part of the curse. But He endures all things for the sake of the elect. He calls all to Him, knowing that only the few out of the whole will bend the knee and confess that Jesus is Lord.
God allows the pain and suffering and sin.
In His sovereignty He called forth the children you have today. They have a great gift of opportunity even though they may reject the author of life and live eternally. They were given that great and awesome gift of eternal life, even if they choose to reject it.
If God thought that way, none of us would be born. We all have sinned and fall short of His glory. All are like sheep who have gone astray.
If you didn't have children you'd still have loved ones that may not enter into life. A mom, a dad, an uncle or aunt, a cousin, a wife or husband or even a best friend.
If one of our children rejects the Lord, it is their choice and not ours. They won't suffer because you became a dad. They will suffer because of their own evil heart - for their rejection of the life that was offered them through Jesus Christ our Lord.
We live life as God made us. Part of that may be to marry and have children. The results of whether they have eternal life or not is all in God's hands, not ours.
Be set free from that condemnation. Do you really think that God is going to say to us, "Moms and dads, this is your fault that most of the people have gone to hell because it's you having children!" If He doesn't think this way, neither should we. It's from the enemy of our souls.
Yes we will grieve when our kids choose death over life. But God said He will wipe away every tear from our eyes and there will be no more pain or suffering. Somehow I think that the thought of our loved ones that didn't receive the truth of the gospel will be erased from our memory.
It is a hard riddle to answer for one that does not have children and may not ever, but whom would also like to be married and have at least one son. I've pondered your question a lot over the years of my continuing singleness. I can keep going back and forth in my mind on this issue and still not come up with a definitive answer.
So I cannot really answer your riddle in total certainty, but I think as typical of almost every issue, there are two edges on this sword. These verses below show me how it can cut both ways.
Psalm 127:3
[SUP]3 [/SUP]Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
(===|===========>
Luke 21:29
[SUP]29 [/SUP]For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.
So I cannot really answer your riddle in total certainty, but I think as typical of almost every issue, there are two edges on this sword. These verses below show me how it can cut both ways.
Psalm 127:3
[SUP]3 [/SUP]Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
(===|===========>
Luke 21:29
[SUP]29 [/SUP]For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.
FreeNChrist has knocked the nail on the head.
It is God who chose to give you children.
In fact I would say that it is God who gives life full stop.
John 1:3-4
All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.
I have 4 kids, 2 were planned. We lived in a nice cosy house that was just the right size.
We were not trying for another. When my wife told me she was pregnant with our 3rd I went into deep depression.
Our house was just big enough, finances were tight.
After a while a close friend took me to task. They did not mince their words either. They told me not to be selfish, pull myself together and did I not realise that only God gives life, when he speaks life is formed, now start praising God for him trusting you with HIS child. That I did.
When my wife told me we were having our 4th, I laughed out loud and praised God and thanked him.
I wouldn't change a thing.
There are many people who try for children and do not have children, and vice versa.
Why I don't know but at the end of the day it's up to God and not us.
You didn't choose to be a dad, yes you wanted to be a dad but the truth is GOD CHOSE YOU TO BE A DAD.
By having children you have not added sin. Sin is already present. If you bring logic into it you may start to control the way you parent and not the way God wants you to parent. You will try to control rather than let go and let God do his stuff.
We need to trust God and give our kids back to him. I suffered the same anxieties you have and have found myself often giving my kids back up to God. Praying and crying out, help me to be the dad you want me to be, to be the dad that you are to me and help me to leave them in your hands.
You ask should I have mentored someone already born, that is someone else's child, not yours. As you mentor your own children who is not say that God would not use your children to mentor the child that you think you could put your resources into.
Be encouraged, trust God, he knows what he is doing.
It is God who chose to give you children.
In fact I would say that it is God who gives life full stop.
John 1:3-4
All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.
I have 4 kids, 2 were planned. We lived in a nice cosy house that was just the right size.
We were not trying for another. When my wife told me she was pregnant with our 3rd I went into deep depression.
Our house was just big enough, finances were tight.
After a while a close friend took me to task. They did not mince their words either. They told me not to be selfish, pull myself together and did I not realise that only God gives life, when he speaks life is formed, now start praising God for him trusting you with HIS child. That I did.
When my wife told me we were having our 4th, I laughed out loud and praised God and thanked him.
I wouldn't change a thing.
There are many people who try for children and do not have children, and vice versa.
Why I don't know but at the end of the day it's up to God and not us.
You didn't choose to be a dad, yes you wanted to be a dad but the truth is GOD CHOSE YOU TO BE A DAD.
By having children you have not added sin. Sin is already present. If you bring logic into it you may start to control the way you parent and not the way God wants you to parent. You will try to control rather than let go and let God do his stuff.
We need to trust God and give our kids back to him. I suffered the same anxieties you have and have found myself often giving my kids back up to God. Praying and crying out, help me to be the dad you want me to be, to be the dad that you are to me and help me to leave them in your hands.
You ask should I have mentored someone already born, that is someone else's child, not yours. As you mentor your own children who is not say that God would not use your children to mentor the child that you think you could put your resources into.
Be encouraged, trust God, he knows what he is doing.
Lol this comment made my day! If I ever indeed am married and that happens I'm pretty such I won't be having much of a thought at that moment about this riddle, or really about anything at all lol.
Though even if that happens I think that the riddle on whether or not it is good to bring children into the ever-darkening world still remains. It is a good question and ethical riddle even if I cannot totally answer it and my mind can toss and turn the coin of it around in many ways looking and considering both sides of it.
Though even if that happens I think that the riddle on whether or not it is good to bring children into the ever-darkening world still remains. It is a good question and ethical riddle even if I cannot totally answer it and my mind can toss and turn the coin of it around in many ways looking and considering both sides of it.
