Should I stay or should I go?

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santuzza

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
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#1
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that our pastor is leaving our church. The denomination has assigned a new pastor to the church, and the pastor is female.

I had a feeling that would happen as this particular denomination seems to have an abundance of female pastors. I'm generally okay with this denomination EXCEPT for female pastors. I just don't find it to be biblical. FYI, our current pastor is male.

NOTE: I am NOT trying to start a new thread on the biblical authority of female pastors -- my mind is firm on this point and no one will change it.

But my real question is: can I stay at this church as the director of music when I feel so strongly about this issue? I would never attend a church with a female pastor, but can I WORK for a church with a female pastor? I really don't think so -- music is my ministry and I don't think I can partner with a pastor who I believe is in an unbiblical position.

It makes me very sad because I love my position and I really love the people in the congregation, but I have my convictions. I am stalwart.

What do you think?
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#2
San,

always follow your heart, IF it belongs to Jesus...then there will be no need
to 'question' yourself or your motives'...
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#3
Is there a Biblical precedent for female Music Directors? Of course you don't have any say or authority over men in that department, do you?
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#4
'come on Willie, who cares 'who' plays the piano???
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#5
'come on Willie, who cares 'who' plays the piano???
That's precisely my point about all this "but, she's female!" nonsense...... and even the foolishness of which day of the week we meet together to worship.

I have seen so very many women who make a lot of male preachers sound like total doddering fools in the pulpit.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
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#6
'come on Willie, who cares 'who' plays the piano???
BTW, the Director of Music doesn't just bang on the piano. They run the whole worship show and tell both men and women what will happen. Either a woman or a man, if qualified should have the job according to who is better at it, not their anatomical makeup.
 
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Yeraza_Bats

Senior Member
Dec 11, 2014
3,632
175
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#7
Id take time to think about it, and like really reach out to God for guidance on this issue. If you feel guided to leave the Church, then maybe its a good idea. If you feel guided to stay, then maybe you can do that.

Dont let it bring down your conscious, though. I believe that if you seek Gods guidance, He will lead you. And Ill pray for you too.

And dont let anyone else guide your choices, unless you really believe they are being led by Him.
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#8
Id take time to think about it, and like really reach out to God for guidance on this issue. If you feel guided to leave the Church, then maybe its a good idea. If you feel guided to stay, then maybe you can do that.

Dont let it bring down your conscious, though. I believe that if you seek Gods guidance, He will lead you. And Ill pray for you too.

And dont let anyone else guide your choices, unless you really believe they are being led by Him.
By all means, if you feel it is wrong for ANYTHING to be going on in the church you attend, pack your bags. But just don't get on the "It's gotta be a man because Paul said so." bandwagon.
 

Yeraza_Bats

Senior Member
Dec 11, 2014
3,632
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#9
I remember like right after leaving my old life and coming to Him, I went to this University Church near me. The first few times was okay, but then the third time I went there was this girl going on all about how theres more than 2 genders and about homosexuality being okay and all that.

I definitely felt guided to get out of there, haha. I guess some people could say that maybe I was guided there to help them or whatever, but I definitely felt like I should just not return there again : p
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#10
Willie,

it is, and will always be about 'ONE on ONE', no matter what the 'world-teaches'...
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
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#11
Men ain't stepping up to the plate to be preachers, so somebody has got to do it.
 
R

ROSSELLA

Guest
#12
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that our pastor is leaving our church. The denomination has assigned a new pastor to the church, and the pastor is female.

I had a feeling that would happen as this particular denomination seems to have an abundance of female pastors. I'm generally okay with this denomination EXCEPT for female pastors. I just don't find it to be biblical. FYI, our current pastor is male.

NOTE: I am NOT trying to start a new thread on the biblical authority of female pastors -- my mind is firm on this point and no one will change it.

But my real question is: can I stay at this church as the director of music when I feel so strongly about this issue? I would never attend a church with a female pastor, but can I WORK for a church with a female pastor? I really don't think so -- music is my ministry and I don't think I can partner with a pastor who I believe is in an unbiblical position.

It makes me very sad because I love my position and I really love the people in the congregation, but I have my convictions. I am stalwart.

What do you think?
I think it's something you'll need to pray hard about. Even pastors sin, and when we make a decision about not attending (or in your case working for) a church because of a pastor's sin, we're saying that some sin is too much for us to accept. Or that a doctrinal difference is simply too big to be overcome. It seems to be bothering you a great deal, so the idea of female pastors is obviously a big issue for you. The Bible tells us to be fully convinced in our hearts when we act in a certain way or believe a certain thing. If it's causing you this much distress, I'd say you're far from fully certain you should stay. In my opinion (and God might lead you to a different one) you should leave. If you stay, you'll always wonder if you're making the wrong decision by staying.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
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#13
I have heard some fantastic female speakers but I think when it comes to being a pastor, like the shepherd of the flock, this role should be a male. I don't think that women are stepping up because men aren't willing. I would love to be a pastor but it would be disastrous to my family. I am too needed in my home. My wife is busy with her career so I'm responsible for more than my share. Maybe one day down the road. I think it needs to be a lifestyle and today's trends don't accommodate like they used to. How do you suppose the men would seek guidance about porn addiction and marital infidelity. In my experience women have a hard time understanding this vice, not all, but most.
 

santuzza

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#14
Is there a Biblical precedent for female Music Directors? Of course you don't have any say or authority over men in that department, do you?
It's a matter of spiritual authority, not musical authority. I'm not a pastor. I'm a musician. I leave the spiritual/pastor elements of the church to the pastor. I direct the music. Perhaps you don't recognize a difference, but I do. And although I have input into the worship service each Sunday, the final authority rests with the pastor -- he can override any decision I make.
 
Mar 23, 2017
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#15
You should do a cover of The Clash song of the same name next time you direct the music.

Sounds like a silly suggestion I am sure, but consider it seriously. You might find your answer.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#16
That's precisely my point about all this "but, she's female!" nonsense...... and even the foolishness of which day of the week we meet together to worship.

I have seen so very many women who make a lot of male preachers sound like total doddering fools in the pulpit.
Really? "But she's female" is nonsense? And yet, you wouldn't stay in a church that's too reserved for you. And, apparently you do judge between genders because "I have seen so very many women who make a lot of male preachers sound like total doddering fools in the pulpit."

So, you're saying you, of course, have just the right attitude, but Santuzza does not?

How's that work again?
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#17
By all means, if you feel it is wrong for ANYTHING to be going on in the church you attend, pack your bags. But just don't get on the "It's gotta be a man because Paul said so." bandwagon.
And again, because you alone are always right?

Trying to hide sanctimonious under "open-mindedness" is like trying to squeeze Foghorn Leghorn into Tweety Bird's cage. It's not working for you or anybody else.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#18
It's a matter of spiritual authority, not musical authority. I'm not a pastor. I'm a musician. I leave the spiritual/pastor elements of the church to the pastor. I direct the music. Perhaps you don't recognize a difference, but I do. And although I have input into the worship service each Sunday, the final authority rests with the pastor -- he can override any decision I make.
Spiritual Authority? Okay, so the big question is can you accept the spiritual authority of your new boss in that church?

Wouldn't that answer tell you what you should or shouldn't do?

I've worked for non Christians, so I sometimes don't have problems with who has authority over me, but I also differentiate on which kind of authority they have over me. During a job interview, one of my bosses told me I'd be selling the product by bribing the customer. I needed a job, but didn't take that one. Even if it was okay for him to bribe for a living, it wasn't okay for me.

I can sell like you can direct music. But we have a higher authority over who we are willing to do our work for. Of course I would sell to customers, but I would have to work for him.

I've walked out of church a couple of times. I lost the church, not the friends.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
7,417
3,468
113
#19
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that our pastor is leaving our church. The denomination has assigned a new pastor to the church, and the pastor is female.

I had a feeling that would happen as this particular denomination seems to have an abundance of female pastors. I'm generally okay with this denomination EXCEPT for female pastors. I just don't find it to be biblical. FYI, our current pastor is male.

NOTE: I am NOT trying to start a new thread on the biblical authority of female pastors -- my mind is firm on this point and no one will change it.

But my real question is: can I stay at this church as the director of music when I feel so strongly about this issue? I would never attend a church with a female pastor, but can I WORK for a church with a female pastor? I really don't think so -- music is my ministry and I don't think I can partner with a pastor who I believe is in an unbiblical position.

It makes me very sad because I love my position and I really love the people in the congregation, but I have my convictions. I am stalwart.

What do you think?
Let your conscience always be clear before the LORD.. May you be blessed when you follow the moving of the Holy Spirit..
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#20
It's a matter of spiritual authority, not musical authority. I'm not a pastor. I'm a musician. I leave the spiritual/pastor elements of the church to the pastor. I direct the music. Perhaps you don't recognize a difference, but I do. And although I have input into the worship service each Sunday, the final authority rests with the pastor -- he can override any decision I make.
If you don't recognize the new pastor's spiritual authority, I don't think you should stay at the church because it would cause too much conflict.

Pray about it and follow God's advice.