Last Minute Wedding Invite

Hello,

Wanted to ask people for an opinion. I was just invited at the very last minute to a wedding that's in a week. It's from a couple at church that just professed their belief. I don't know them very well but it's kind of awkward... it was by text and from the bride's mother. I don't want to decline out of misunderstanding but I hadn't planned on going and getting a gift (I was hoping I wouldn't get invited). Yet, I don't want to be unkind to the couple either.

What should I do?

Go to WalMart,buy a coffee pot,go and smile like crazy,and enjoy the ride.

Then get with the pranksters and put shrimp inside their hubcaps

If i understand... a couple you don't know well, waited till the last minute, to have the brides Mother Text you an invite and you're worried about being unkind? If i had to guess it sounds to me like they don't want you there. Perhaps they felt obligated to invite you.
And even if that's not the case if they couldn't invite you sooner, and ask you Themselves at least in a phone call then i doubt they'll be bothered you don't show up. There's nothing unkind about not going. Their way of doing things is way more out of line than your turning it down.

Yea, that's pretty much the sum of it. The problem is that I had hoped I wouldn't be invited. But then I get some weird invite and now it's all awkward. How would you recommend me to say "thanks, no thanks"? Should I just say I'd be happy to attend the ceremony? But then that's kinda awkward and rude on my part...

I hate awkward social situations.

How about giving them some support?

life can be hectic at the most un-opportune moments of one's life =
there's just NO TELLING what is going-on with them and their families
at this time...

never take things personally, all of the facts are not/never in 'our' immediate scope of any situation...

whatever their reason, I would simply do what Jesus would want me to do, and that would be
to obey The Golden Rule...sweet-simple=peacefulness...

Either of these. Plus, you could send a card with $10.00 in it (or just a nice card, by itself) if you really feel awkward about it. In my experience with local weddings, sending money isn't considered rude.

Well, I'll see them tomorrow morning since it's Sunday. I guess I'll talk to them face to face just to get a feel if they did it out of a sense of obligation. Since I don't actually have anything planned on the wedding day, I can't say I have something lol But I think I might end up going and like someone said, bring a small bit of money with a nice card. I mean, it is a couple's happy day - might as well lend some support I guess. Thanks for all the suggestions! Will keep you updated tomorrow!

How about 'we won't be able to attend'?
These people have you almost no warning and had someone else text you. Why are you so worried about being rude? The invite was a shallow, insincere invite. I think you're making way more out of this than it really is. Just say you won't be able to make it. That simple. If they were so worried about you coming they should've invited you sooner. And not had someone else text you. Seriously, they couldn't take 15 seconds to even text you themselves?
Christians worry way to much about coming across rude.

*grim chuckle*

"I'm sorry, but I won't be able to attend."

Then send a nice wedding card.

And pray for them.

Well, I didn't see them today so I called them instead. I thanked them for the invite and told them I would be happy to attend the ceremony but that I wouldn't be able to attend the reception. I had hoped they'd just leave it at that. But, the mom asked why and I just told her the truth really nicely - that I didn't know the couple well at all. She sounded disappointed but I guess it's a lesson for everyone - don't ask for details unless you're prepared to hear a truth that you might not want to hear. She said she'll send me the time for the ceremony but from the sounds of it, I don't think that will happen. I'll make the effort to find out, show up, and I'll get a nice card for them.

And Ugly, you are right, I shouldn't feel bad. While I can't speak for others, I can say that in my heart, I was really irked that I was told a week before, by text, and not from the bride/groom, but from the bride's mother who also assumed that I would come and texted me a photo of the invite details today (which I couldn't receive anyway). I also felt that it was to fill seats and since it's an Asian wedding, it's customary/expected to give money as opposed to a gift (which I didn't want to do given the circumstances). I didn't want the heart issue to cloud the right biblical response. My weakness is to naturally move to a more vengeful attitude - to "get back" at them and that's what I didn't want to end up doing. I think this compromise is ok though - attend the ceremony (which technically is the most important part) and decline the reception.

Thanks everyone for helping me think through all this!

Well, it certainly sounds to me that all they were looking for was a gift. Pathetic. You did the right thing -- good for you for being honest!

An update for posterity's sake...

It seems there is an unintended (positive) result from my response and choice of action. The couple and the parents are now more interested in talking to me, getting to know me a bit more, opening up, etc. I don't know how long it will last or how it will turn out but it appears something good has come out of it! Thanks again for all the advice/suggestions!

Be honest.
Call the bride's mother and tell her the last minute invite has put you in an awkward position since you do not have the money for a gift.
Honesty and a prayer will go a long way in this case.

Y know, I just noticed I'm a little late with my response.
It must of got lost in the mail.
Save it for next time.