Bulimia is literal hell

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ThinMint

Guest
#1
#1
I have bulimia w/ anorexic tendencies and I haven't eaten in a week. I feel hunger again for the first time in a long time and I just can not bring myself to eat. I know if i eat anything i will binge and probably...will...consume every bit of food in my pantry. I was in chat and they were posting pictures of luscious cookies and it made me feel so horrible I had to quit. I don't know how to feel and have no one to talk to.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
I'm sorry to hear your struggle. I have no answers or help to offer. I know very little about those disorders. And while it sounds like a joke it's true that Christians and talks about food go hand in hand. There are two rooms open in the chats for those who haven't donated. Maybe the other room will provide a better distraction?
Hopefully someone that can be more helpful will contact you shortly.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#3
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
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#3
I have a very close friend who had this too. You need to get into a medical center that they can start training you and your body again to eat. God bless you
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#4
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
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#4
ThinMint said:
I have bulimia w/ anorexic tendencies and I haven't eaten in a week. I feel hunger again for the first time in a long time and I just can not bring myself to eat. I know if i eat anything i will binge and probably...will...consume every bit of food in my pantry. I was in chat and they were posting pictures of luscious cookies and it made me feel so horrible I had to quit. I don't know how to feel and have no one to talk to.
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If you eat every bit of food in your pantry, then you could go to the store and buy more food. However, stay away from sweets, and keep your fat intake to a moderate level.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#5
#5
Demi777 said:
I have a very close friend who had this too. You need to get into a medical center that they can start training you and your body again to eat. God bless you
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Yes. One thing to remember is it's a brain thing. (I'm sure you know that), I had slightly anorexic tendencies as a younger teen. It's terrible because people will look at you crazy and say, "Just eat" No, it's not like that, is it? Your body actually tells you you're NOT hungry, when you're basically starving.

Do get medical help. It should provide a lot of help to you :)
 
Dan_473

Dan_473

Senior Member
#6
Mar 11, 2014
9,054
1,051
113
#6
ThinMint said:
I have bulimia w/ anorexic tendencies and I haven't eaten in a week. I feel hunger again for the first time in a long time and I just can not bring myself to eat. I know if i eat anything i will binge and probably...will...consume every bit of food in my pantry. I was in chat and they were posting pictures of luscious cookies and it made me feel so horrible I had to quit. I don't know how to feel and have no one to talk to.
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hi ThinMint, welcome to CC!


this came to mind, I hope it helps!
1 KINGS 19:4 Then he traveled through the wilderness for a day. He sat down under a broom plant and wanted to die. "I've had enough now, LORD," he said. "Take my life! I'm no better than my ancestors."
1 KINGS 19:5 Then he lay down and slept under the broom plant. An angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat."
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#7
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#7
also a thing that people forget is that when u start forcing yourself to eat your body cannot handle it and u can fall into a shock. that happens if u stop drinking water but also if u stop eating over a long period of time. So thats why doctors carefully measure and stuff how much, how fast and how heavy to eat to get your body used to it again.

Tinuviel said:
Yes. One thing to remember is it's a brain thing. (I'm sure you know that), I had slightly anorexic tendencies as a younger teen. It's terrible because people will look at you crazy and say, "Just eat" No, it's not like that, is it? Your body actually tells you you're NOT hungry, when you're basically starving.

Do get medical help. It should provide a lot of help to you :)
Click to expand...
 
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ThinMint

Guest
#8
#8
Thank you everyone. I have sought medical intervention for a year before. Unfortunetely inpatient is horridly expensive because it is not seen at medically necisary...i know i spelled that wrong, sorry.

However, i did eat a small snack last night after praying and the first part my bible opened to was jesus feeding the thousands and i felt like that was him beckoning me to try. I dont know much about jesus admittedly but i dont want to die from this. I've been close once and i cant.
 
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ThinMint

Guest
#9
#9
Figured I'd share what I wrote to my e.d last night...

Dearest Bulimia,
You have been my best friend for going on seventeen years now. You helped me through being abused and told me it would be okay if I only followed you. Bulimia, you saved me from being bullied and told me if I just looked better than them they would have no grounds to pick on me. You showed me beauty, perfection, and gave me hope and love. I love you Bulimia, I must or I wouldn't have stood for such abuse for so long.

Yes, Bulimia, what you have been doing is covering your abusive actions behind acts of kindness. Remember the time you told me I was beautiful but I would be better if I just purged once more and I listened? Or, the all too many times you told me I didn't have to worry about how much food I ate that day, I could just get rid of it later. How about the time you told me I would never be good enough for anyone if I didn't listen to you? Or the countless times you let your friend Anorexia control me too and you both yelled that I didn't deserve to eat and locked me in my room for days or a week at a time? Even worse than all of this, do you remember Bulimia the time you put me in the hospital with a heart beat of 40 and stood in front of me crying saying you didn't mean to, and when the doctors put me in the hospital for a year you would tell me it wouldn't get that bad again if only I would take you back? So, I did.

Six years after that I am slowly finding my strength apart from you and seeing myself through the eyes of God. I do not know much about him but I know he loves me with an everlasting love and he told me that you Bulimia have been very abusive towards me and made me feel like I am unworthy of anyone's love. But, this is just not true.

I have to let you go Bulimia, this is very difficult for me but I have to say goodbye and when you try to come back again like I know you will, I will ignore you and run to God and tell him you are trying to hurt me and he will send you far away because he loves me more than you.

Sincerely, Never yours again!
 
WineRose

WineRose

Senior Member
#10
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
265
83
Row A, Column 9
#10
ThinMint said:
Figured I'd share what I wrote to my e.d last night...

Dearest Bulimia,
You have been my best friend for going on seventeen years now. You helped me through being abused and told me it would be okay if I only followed you. Bulimia, you saved me from being bullied and told me if I just looked better than them they would have no grounds to pick on me. You showed me beauty, perfection, and gave me hope and love. I love you Bulimia, I must or I wouldn't have stood for such abuse for so long.

Yes, Bulimia, what you have been doing is covering your abusive actions behind acts of kindness. Remember the time you told me I was beautiful but I would be better if I just purged once more and I listened? Or, the all too many times you told me I didn't have to worry about how much food I ate that day, I could just get rid of it later. How about the time you told me I would never be good enough for anyone if I didn't listen to you? Or the countless times you let your friend Anorexia control me too and you both yelled that I didn't deserve to eat and locked me in my room for days or a week at a time? Even worse than all of this, do you remember Bulimia the time you put me in the hospital with a heart beat of 40 and stood in front of me crying saying you didn't mean to, and when the doctors put me in the hospital for a year you would tell me it wouldn't get that bad again if only I would take you back? So, I did.

Six years after that I am slowly finding my strength apart from you and seeing myself through the eyes of God. I do not know much about him but I know he loves me with an everlasting love and he told me that you Bulimia have been very abusive towards me and made me feel like I am unworthy of anyone's love. But, this is just not true.

I have to let you go Bulimia, this is very difficult for me but I have to say goodbye and when you try to come back again like I know you will, I will ignore you and run to God and tell him you are trying to hurt me and he will send you far away because he loves me more than you.

Sincerely, Never yours again!
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Nice, but...I find it a bit strange to call Bulimia, which you call 'Hell', 'Dearest'...just a thought.
 
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ThinMint

Guest
#12
#12
Its ok. It works for me. My therapist suggested i view my bulimia as an abusive relationship which really helped me breakthrough and i actually ate again today, an apple and some cheese but it felt good to not completely binge but eat healthfully.

This site has really helped me come to God more and more and I have realized that the only true recovery is with Jesus and I need to fall on Him when i feel like giving up :)
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#13
Jun 30, 2015
24,685
13,374
113
#13
ThinMint,
Thanks for sharing your story. I have no knowledge of this disorder directly, so I appreciate your perspective. I have little to offer beyond prayer, but I would suggest that you seek out a Christian counselor. Jesus can heal you completely, but it sounds like the bulimia is a symptom of a deeper issue.

May God carry you through to complete freedom.
 
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psalm6819

Guest
#14
#14
One of my daughters dealt with this issue. I will pray for you.
 
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