One of those moments thats more than a moment

This is a random post about one of those moments.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you can't open up with small talk like you would want to with a group of people? Mostly because your knowledge on the subject isn't accurate and you are not interested. Those moments where heavy topics are of interest to because you are being effected by them. Those moments where you don't want to get to know too much about certain people too much because you will understand less about them. Those moments where you have been learning more about the past because certain aspects of society were more interesting and don't really care too much about what is so cool now day?

Do you think getting some rest would help?

I have those moments all the time. I can't make small talk. I couldn't make small talk if my life depended on it. It's one of those social things I have to fake when I am forced to socialize. I pretend to follow the conversation, mimic the body language of others, laugh when they do, and just keep quiet. It works 99% of the time.

No, I don't. I am nosy. I want to know everything. I don't know how you can possibly know too much about a person. The more you know about a person, the more you understand the person. For example, if I read many of a person's posts- a switch will come on, and I can understand why they think the way they do. The less I know about a person, the less I understand them. I mean understanding must come from communication.

But, I am very shy, so I have a problem with speaking in a group- but not because I don't want to speak or don't have something to say or ask. Sometimes, I am burning with things to say, but can not get them out because I am shy.

You sound like a intj personality trait since I am a entj I don't have small talk I create a topic, and if I can't I leave the convo.

the cure should be mostly silence, with an honest and interested ear, else move on...

Galatea, in my experience when I get to know people it does help to understand them BUT I find that most people I learn about don't live up to what they say about themselves. They are either putting on for the moment and then their character changes over time. Maybe that is something I need to get use to?

I'm definitely a better one on one conversation person. I'm not uncomfortable in a small group but I would rather listen then talk. I'll admit there are times I zone out and have to pretend I understand what's being discussed. I did that today when on technically my last day at work an adult was having a weird kind of anger issue. Not directed at me but I unfortunately had to hear it. When this person finally left the building for good, meaning she resigned, I said , okay it's over, I'm going to keep sorting this mess of crayons in peace now. I made someone laugh, so that's good.

I was actually sorting crayons because it's a preschool and I couldn't stand the disorder of the crayons anymore.

Well, yes. That is why I like to find out about people, the more you know about them- the more human they are. Less like a two dimensional character and more like a three dimensional, flawed human. People put on masks, and they wear different masks for different people and in different situations. Once you get to know people, you will be disappointed at some point. It is inevitable.

Can you remember the first time you were disappointed by your parents? I can remember the first time I was disappointed by my mother. It came as a shock, but now I know her as she is, and not as I thought she was- perfect. I like her better as a human than as an idol.

I tried to explain to my Daughter, who is 10, that although sometimes you might just see me as Mom, Mom who loves you no matter what, Mom who tucks you in and takes care of you when your sick, Mom who deals with your attitude sometimes, I'm human like you and have feelings that can get hurt and make mistakes. It's hard when you're real young to get that concept sometimes.

Never forget when I was 18 and my parents said they were going to have a baby. (My second brother as there is a 15 year gap between them). Well. I suddenly realised they had had sex and I was discusted! My parents has done that!

I guess I had a sheltered life!

I had the exact same reaction with my little brother, I kept shaking my head whilst saying "no" for about a minute lol.

Yes, and it hurts them when parents are unjust and make mistakes. I think it is good you are telling her that you are human and might not do every thing right all the time. It's the unconditional love that is important, I can tell you have that for your daughter from your posts.

Thank you, I feel really blessed to have two healthy children. Even though my Daughter is a pre teen turd sometimes. My Son is the complete opposite, sweetest kid and will lecture her when she is a smart mouth . They have a good relationship though, they're 11 months apart in age so they have a lot in common too.

Yes, too many times to count. I think my Asperger's Syndrome may have something to do with it...hmm...

Everyone lies, because though lies we change the reality of the world around our will...

If I steal $100 from my mother, and she asks me if I stole it and I say no.... IF she believes me I have changed the reality of me stealing the 100 (in her eyes)....

Every lie, is an attempt to change the world to what we want reality to be....



In this case I would say the lie is not necessarily with the other people, but with you.... You are lying to yourself perceiving people to be more than what they are.
If you have ever joined a club, like boyscouts or anything..... When you are new to the club, those members at the top are the coolest people! But when you become one, you realize they are no different than when they were new....


Projecting images onto people is what we do in order to categorize people into our realities to make sense of the world and have less of a chance of being hurt...
You have already decided if you like someone or not before you even say a word.... You would have just as much success by going with the thought, everyone who wears red is not my friend, and everyone who wears blue is... I have met people who I deemed as stupid turn out to be very intelligent and those who I perceived as jerks turn out to be extremely kind hearted.
The key is, destroying those preconceived notions and allowing yourself to learn of the real person.... And to do this, you must go through the boredom of building a new friendship....
You are in the same boat of people who break up after being in a long term relationship... They find it hard to find another partner because they have to ask all the retarded and boring questions all over again like whats your favorite color....

A friendship is a journey, where you learn more and more intimate things about the person slowly.... It is also a journey through hardships and trials.....

Research has shown, if a friendship is too positive, it will fail... There has to be something like 11 good times to 1 bad time for a relationship to succeed. (If my memory serves me right.)




Last thing: I would highly caution against the Myers Briggs categorization... Personality is a lot more fluid then what Myers Briggs suggests....

(p.s. if I am off the mark replying to your post I apologize)



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