Can men explain man-thought to a woman?

Depleted · May 30, 2017

I'm not saying all men are like this, but enough are that it really seems to be a man-thing. I'm just trying to see if any guys can help me figure out the logic going on inside a man's head on this. (And feel free to answer even if you don't have a wife, because I'm pretty sure, somewhere in your life you did have a woman give you a very puzzled look when this happened, so that counts too. lol)

Man gets unexpected, unexplained malady, bad enough to stop him from doing what he planned. (Knee blows up so bad he can't bend it. Indigestion so bad he can't lie down. Rash so bad there are blisters of puss throughout it, and it hurts like... well, like shingles, once he finds out what it is. Something blocking his vision in the center of his eye.)

Man-thing. "If this doesn't get better by next week, I'll see a doctor."

Why? I mean take that same man, and have the same malady happen to his wife, and he's making her put on her coat to see the doctor immediately. And if the doctor isn't available immediately, then there is always the ER. BUT, if it's him, "I'll see what happens in the next 4-7 days (FOUR months) before deciding if it's worth seeing a doctor. No big thing."

That's the reality. What are you thinking that you aren't saying to the wife? (And probably what you don't want to say to the doctor either.)

Oh, and since you know what you're thinking -- your strategy for this chess game -- do you know what would work for the wife to counter that move? What can we possibly say that would make you change your mind?

NoNameMcgee · May 30, 2017

lol
i wont go to the doctors

cant change my mind

YOU CANT MAKE ME
>:O

i got personal reasons though

maybe other guys could be persuaded somehow

Yahweh_is_gracious · May 30, 2017

Me man. Me tough. Me bite through pain. Me no like doctor. Me type of guy that if it isn't gushing blood from an artery, me rub dirt on it and get back in game.

Me man. She woman. She delicate and not tough like man. She get boo-boo need go see doctor NOW.

As for saying something to a man to convince him to see a doctor..."Honey, it hurts my heart to see you in pain. Please let's go get it checked out even though it might not be nothing. Let's both get peace of mind and we'll get ice cream on the way home. You're my snuggle-boo."

Depleted · May 30, 2017

NoNameMcgee said:

I get that, but why not? Especially if something is seriously out of whack? I mean, cut your foot off, and wait to see if it gets better before next week.

Depleted · May 30, 2017

Yahweh_is_gracious said:

LOL I can imagine all sorts of confused looks on hubby's face if I ever called him snuggle-boo. LOL

(I'm not sure I could say it with a straight face.)

NoNameMcgee · May 30, 2017

Depleted said:

welp i cant speak much on amputation

but i had a buddy cut off part of his finger past the nail...

he taped it up

ive let broken bones heal....

took awhile but i feel fine now

Yahweh_is_gracious · May 30, 2017

Depleted said:

Well, use your own discretion for whatever term of endearment you think is appropriate. Someone calling me snuggle-boo would cause me to make a face like I had walked through a rancid fart, but I decided it was cutesy enough of a term to use in the example I provided. ;-)

NoNameMcgee · May 30, 2017

as for why

i dont trust doctors lol
aaand
dont wanna get charged

and so far Gods been good and healed me just fine

maxwel · May 30, 2017

1. Men are taught to "rub dirt in it", and "walk it off".

2. Men are taught to be protective of the girlies.

Most men don't go to a doctor until one of their limbs has actually fallen completely off.

(And boy is it hard to drive like that.)

resurrection33 · May 30, 2017

Depleted said:

I'm not saying all men are like this, but enough are that it really seems to be a man-thing. I'm just trying to see if any guys can help me figure out the logic going on inside a man's head on this. (And feel free to answer even if you don't have a wife, because I'm pretty sure, somewhere in your life you did have a woman give you a very puzzled look when this happened, so that counts too. lol)

Man gets unexpected, unexplained malady, bad enough to stop him from doing what he planned. (Knee blows up so bad he can't bend it. Indigestion so bad he can't lie down. Rash so bad there are blisters of puss throughout it, and it hurts like... well, like shingles, once he finds out what it is. Something blocking his vision in the center of his eye.)

Man-thing. "If this doesn't get better by next week, I'll see a doctor."

Why? I mean take that same man, and have the same malady happen to his wife, and he's making her put on her coat to see the doctor immediately. And if the doctor isn't available immediately, then there is always the ER. BUT, if it's him, "I'll see what happens in the next 4-7 days (FOUR months) before deciding if it's worth seeing a doctor. No big thing."

That's the reality. What are you thinking that you aren't saying to the wife? (And probably what you don't want to say to the doctor either.)

Oh, and since you know what you're thinking -- your strategy for this chess game -- do you know what would work for the wife to counter that move? What can we possibly say that would make you change your mind?

No one likes to spend the money, take the time, or make the effort to go to the doctor. That answers the part of the question as to why men don't just run to the doctor every time something isn't right. As for why your husband wants you to go to the doctor at the drop of the hat, he probably likes you and doesn't want something terrible to happen to you.

Blain · May 30, 2017

Well if was Stephanie and I then I likely would in the case of a serious problem go instantly but if it's a stomach issue and I need to lay down or say I am feeling soooo weak and ill and cannot move (this has happened many times) then I will just lay on the couch and watch netflix until it passes which normally takes a few days or more.

Of course sadly I am stubborn and hate being still for long hours doing nothing so even feeling as weak as I do I tend to still try to clean and do others stuff which of course only makes the weakness last longer and Stephanie would have to keep trying to make me stay on the couch lol.

I am not afraid of pain and I tend to get over other stuff but I am not manly I will see a doctor if it gets to bad the whole I'm manly and tough and can grit through it mentality may be admirable but not the most logical but then again I may also just be a wimp lol.

For stephanie I would try to consider all the possible factors that may be causing it before recommending a doctor.

But for the mentality in question men find it an obligation to manly and tough but for the women it could be that they see them as not as tough as them and also may rush them to the docs out of concern for them. Something tells me though that wouldn't fly with you though Lynn you strike me as a toughie lol

Desdichado · May 31, 2017

This may sound too Darwinian for some, but men are, for breeding purposes, more expendable than women. God wired da bois to protect the nest with less regard for personal misfortune.

It leads to some good, sensible decisions as well as bad and risky ones (like not consulting an ophthalmologist).

notmyown · May 31, 2017

true story:

Mark, working too quickly with a v-e-r-y sharp putty knife, cut the back of his hand, severing a tendon and leaving his middle finger hanging immobile. it was bleeding profusely.

he covered it with paper towels and duct tape and finished the work day. good thing he's ambidextrous, right?

he comes home with the brilliant plan to tape his fingers together from then on because, hey!, the index and ring fingers are fine, just fine.

i, in desperation, apply Jon's "it hurts my heart" method, because it actually does.
we go to the ED, he gets IV antibiotics, a tetanus shot and an appointment with a hand surgeon.
two days later has hand surgery, four days later is back at work. hhhhhh!! lol

six months later, he comes home with a cut on his finger so wide and deep you can see bone. (ew)
(again with the paper towels and duct tape and the finishing the six hours of work.)
again, my heart is hurt, and he's telling me it's fine. i think it may be past the stitches window and being upset and heart hurt, intend to call 411 to get the doc's home number to ask, and accidentally call 911 instead.

you can't call 911 without consequences, though it's a mistake, and 5 minutes later there's a lovely sheriff's deputy at the door. i answer it, and typical of police training he sums me up in a heartbeat. he jokingly says he needs to talk to Mark to make sure we're not (and i quote) stabbing each other with knives.
Mark comes to the kitchen, the deputy looks at the cut, turns to me and says, are you SURE you didn't mean to call 911?!? offers to take husband to the hospital, husband respectfully refuses, deputy shares a knowing look with husband and leaves.

i'm not all that certain there's "logic" involved.

but i know that man will do almost anything for me. ♥

Depleted · May 31, 2017

NoNameMcgee said:

I get that's what men do. I don't get why.

It seems to me that if duct tape still doesn't stop the finger from bleeding, it's too much work trying to work without sliding your hands through blood all the time. And, if it bleeds too much, you'll pass out from too little blood. To a guy fainting has got to be worse than stitches, right? Way too embarrassing to faint in front of other guys.

And bones healing on their own does happen, but limping because the bone healed sideways is going to be a life full of pain that just gets worse and worse the older you get. Or even broken fingers that stick out sideways. I watch the pregame show before football games. Bunch of football players comparing gnarly fingers and laughing about it, but I ache for them. I was in a car accident and banged the top of my hand. It was just a contusion (known because I DID go to the ER lol), but even after it healed, I could predict winter weather by how much my hand hurt. It's 20 years later, and it's still a barometer for when temps go below 10 degrees. (Fortunately, it rarely does that.)

Imagine how often they've broken their fingers. How do they feel in the morning now that they have arthritis in them too? They're still young. (Only in their 40's and 50's.) What will it feel like in their 60's and 70's? And yet they laugh at their old battle scars. Got to say, at least they were made to go to the doctors.

Why wait a week, if waiting makes it hurt longer? Kind of like asking for a six weeks flu, because 10 days is for sissies. lol

Depleted · May 31, 2017

maxwel said:

When hubby and I were first married, I burnt my thumb from a frying pan. It immediately blistered. Hubby got an ice cube out, wrapped it up and had me "put this on until it stops hurting."

I did. And an hour later, the second ice cube had melted clear through, but it still hurt when I took it off. An hour after that, I ask him how long before it stops hurting. He laughed and told me it was always going to hurt when I stopped putting ice on it.

Well, then what was the point of putting ice on it? I was trying to avoid the pain all together, not trying to postpone it. So, I took off the ice and went through the pain, until it stopped hurting.

Men seemed interested in prolonging the pain. I want pain to last as short a time as possible. Guys seem to want it to last as long as possible. Death will tell them when they've had enough pain.

I don't get that.

NoNameMcgee · May 31, 2017

Depleted said:

I get that's what men do. I don't get why.

It seems to me that if duct tape still doesn't stop the finger from bleeding, it's too much work trying to work without sliding your hands through blood all the time. And, if it bleeds too much, you'll pass out from too little blood. To a guy fainting has got to be worse than stitches, right? Way too embarrassing to faint in front of other guys.

And bones healing on their own does happen, but limping because the bone healed sideways is going to be a life full of pain that just gets worse and worse the older you get. Or even broken fingers that stick out sideways. I watch the pregame show before football games. Bunch of football players comparing gnarly fingers and laughing about it, but I ache for them. I was in a car accident and banged the top of my hand. It was just a contusion (known because I DID go to the ER lol), but even after it healed, I could predict winter weather by how much my hand hurt. It's 20 years later, and it's still a barometer for when temps go below 10 degrees. (Fortunately, it rarely does that.)

Imagine how often they've broken their fingers. How do they feel in the morning now that they have arthritis in them too? They're still young. (Only in their 40's and 50's.) What will it feel like in their 60's and 70's? And yet they laugh at their old battle scars. Got to say, at least they were made to go to the doctors.

Why wait a week, if waiting makes it hurt longer? Kind of like asking for a six weeks flu, because 10 days is for sissies. lol

i have not one but many reasons

im sure the other guys have different reasons

im probably a bad example

Depleted · May 31, 2017

resurrection33 said:

Yeah, I'm not big on wasting money on doctors either. BUT, right now I have two choice ahead of me. My goiter is getting bigger and bigger. It's been happening over the course of 20 years, so not going to waste time with doctors over it, until last year, when it started blocking my ability to swallow and I started feeling it press against my carotid artery. They can reduce it. Hopefully, they can do it by using a needle to burn the excessive soft tissue, and I go home the same day. If that doesn't work, they can cut half of my thyroid out. (Thyroid works good enough as is so not keen on removing something that works. lol)

But to do that, either way, someone has to take me home afterward. Last year hubby wasn't an option. This year he is.

So my two choices are:
1. Wait for it to choke me to death.
2. Have it shrunken.

I'm not a guy, so I'm not going to wait for it to choke me to death. lol

Willie-T · May 31, 2017

Like it or not, the man is the head of the house. But, the woman is the neck, and she turns the head. If we each learn to do our parts correctly, these situations never arise.

notmyown · May 31, 2017

Willie-T said:

what is 'correctly"? please help; enlighten me; no sarcasm intended at all.

after 37 years, i'd just like to get this right because right after God, that man is the most important person in the world to me.

Willie-T · May 31, 2017

notmyown said:

I would say that anything that is not yet working... after trying it for 37 years... just might be something you could start to be thinking about as being a possibly "incorrect" approach.

Can men explain man-thought to a woman?

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