Narcissism

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Galatea

Guest
#21
#21
Depleted said:
(Another example for ya.)

I come by narcissism in a different kind of way. OCD is a form of narcissism, or possibly where narcissism goes to next. My dad has OCD, always had but I didn't realize it until about ten years ago. OCD is basically realizing you need to be perfect because the world around you needs to be perfect, because no one else but you is perfect. You have to be the perfect for the whole world.

Imagine growing up in that thought pattern, and I'm not the perfect one. Dad is.

Dad has six kids. (Granted the youngest is 31, so "kids" is the relative term, not the literal term. lol) Each one bucked against being like Dad, and yet being raised by a narcissist how could we not pick up some of Dad?

It has come out in six different ways, all pointing back to "at least I'm not Dad."

I find that frightening, hilarious, and annoying all at once. If I'm comparing myself to anyone, isn't that narcissism at the heart of the matter? I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde most of the time. By nature, I'm narcissistic to the core. (I think all people are, but I feel like I've mastered it.) By God's nature, I'm empathetic and think of others. But, always, always, always, the two sides fight like rams in rutting season.

There is no easy out from narcissism. There is still only one answer -- the Lord.

It's a constant battle. And something I'm just beginning to figure out after a mere 40+ years -- if I focus on God, Dr. Jekyll comes out more often. If I focus on me focusing on God, Mr. Hyde has a good laugh.

If you get what I mean, I suspect when you can say "40+ years" too, you'll be much further along the godly path than I've come.
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I totally understand what you mean by the two natures fighting. I feel pulled and pushed all the time, giving into selfishness or not being selfish.
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#22
#22
Hellooo said:
Narcissists don't have much empathy, from your posts on here Galatea, you sure don't seem to be lacking any.

If you dont mind sharing, what makes you think you might be a narcissist?
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I'm self absorbed and a navel gazer. Plus, I don't like people doing things for me, as I don't trust that they will do them correctly. Like at work, I'd rather do everything myself than enlist help. Plus, just thinking about how I feel in certain situations and neglecting to remember how others might feel and act accordingly.
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#23
#23
Stephen63 said:
Narcissists are also big control freaks, & by that I mean they have to control & manipulate everyone under their roof.

They like to put family members against each other, as well as talk bad about each one to the other.

They're the same way on their jobs.

I used to think I was a narcissist because I fit a few places on the profile, plus my mother is a full-blown narcissist.

Don't beat yourself over the head with it. If you're concerned, you're not one.

Could it be that you believe this because someone gave you the idea? If so, that person IS a narcissist.
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I have some control issues. For instance, we can send copy jobs to the print shop through our system. But, I never do as I am afraid of not getting them back in time or they would be incorrectly copied. I also hate working on projects with others because I don't trust them to do things right. I am working with a colleague on a project and she is making certificates for students, and I would rather do it myself as I don't trust her spelling (which she did put a period after the word 'Miss', so I'm not that far out of left field).
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#24
Aug 15, 2009
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#24
Galatea said:
I have some control issues. For instance, we can send copy jobs to the print shop through our system. But, I never do as I am afraid of not getting them back in time or they would be incorrectly copied. I also hate working on projects with others because I don't trust them to do things right. I am working with a colleague on a project and she is making certificates for students, and I would rather do it myself as I don't trust her spelling (which she did put a period after the word 'Miss', so I'm not that far out of left field).
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That sounds more like a careful perfectionist than a manipulator.:)
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#25
#25
Stephen63 said:
That sounds more like a careful perfectionist than a manipulator.:)
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Well, that's not my only problem. I tend to think about how I feel in situations and it is not until later that I think about how other people might feel about situations.

Yes, I think I am a little bit of a perfectionist. Thanks for your post and assessment. I'm starting to think that this whole thread is narcissistic as it is all about me, lol.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#26
Aug 2, 2009
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#26
Galatea said:
How do you know if you are a narcissist or not? I mean I think I might be, but not sure. I looked it up online, but that is not as helpful as asking other people. So, what are the characteristics?
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Psychology Today defines it as "An inflated sense of self."

That is different from self-esteem, which is a healthy sense of self...


The one person that comes to my mind when I hear narcissist is Miley Cyrus during her twerking, sticking-her-tongue-out-constantly days... She spoke out against everyone who didn't like her displays of nakedness and simulated porn on stage in front of her young fans too..

 
notmyown

notmyown

Senior Member
#27
May 26, 2016
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#27
Galatea said:
Thanks for the post. I guess I was confused as I know I meet some of the characteristics, so was looking for behavioral examples- but did not express this in my op. I have a tendency to be self absorbed and inward looking, so kind of wondered if this was the same thing or not.
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again, i'd be surprised if that doesn't describe most of us, especially when we're younger. by which i mean, getting older, particularly older in Christ, is tremendously helpful. i won't bore you with all my stories of the struggle to fix my eyes on Jesus and not myself... hhhhhh! :rolleyes:

i think the occasional self assessment is good. it isn't where you want to live, though.
the perfectionism can be hard to put down (she said from experience, lol). as Lynn was saying, it tends to be learned, but we can learn a better way, too.


 
D

Depleted

Guest
#28
#28
zeroturbulence said:
Psychology Today defines it as "An inflated sense of self."

That is different from self-esteem, which is a healthy sense of self...
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During the pregame show for an Eagles game last night, they were doing interviews with some of the players. Fletcher Cox was showing off his Mustang with dual... something-anothers. (I did get it was impressive to Car People. I'm just not a Car People, so forgot already. lol)

On the back window, (which, come to think of it, is illegal in the state of Pennsylvania), was a large sticker that said, "Owned by Fletcher Cox."

I immediately thought, "What an ego!" Then I got to thinking about it. He's a defensive tackle. Defense is rarely the memorable names. Most people (into football) can name 5-10 players on their team, and most, if not all, of them are offense. I'm one of those people. The last defensive player for our team that I can remember is Reggie White. (I'm talking 1980s now.)

So, if you have enough bragging rights to put something like that on your car but you can back it up with your play, is that ego, self-esteem or narcissism? I suspect he leans on self-esteem with a bit of narcissism.

I suspect most of us lean on narcissism with a bit of self-esteem. lol
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#29
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#29
Depleted said:
During the pregame show for an Eagles game last night, they were doing interviews with some of the players. Fletcher Cox was showing off his Mustang with dual... something-anothers. (I did get it was impressive to Car People. I'm just not a Car People, so forgot already. lol)

On the back window, (which, come to think of it, is illegal in the state of Pennsylvania), was a large sticker that said, "Owned by Fletcher Cox."

I immediately thought, "What an ego!" Then I got to thinking about it. He's a defensive tackle. Defense is rarely the memorable names. Most people (into football) can name 5-10 players on their team, and most, if not all, of them are offense. I'm one of those people. The last defensive player for our team that I can remember is Reggie White. (I'm talking 1980s now.)

So, if you have enough bragging rights to put something like that on your car but you can back it up with your play, is that ego, self-esteem or narcissism? I suspect he leans on self-esteem with a bit of narcissism.

I suspect most of us lean on narcissism with a bit of self-esteem. lol
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A pro football player with a custom mustang and a sticker with his name on it... that's both ego and narcissim. In fact, ego and narcissism often go hand-in-hand. But I think the difference is that with narcissism, they are obsessed with maintaining their public image and appearance.... with ego its just about how great they think they are (no matter what they look like).
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#30
Sep 4, 2013
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#30
You know that there are some reports that she has begun to change, and returning to her "raisings." Don't know, but I have seen some reports that all of this way out there stuff she went wild with has come to an end/or is being tapered down. That Beeber guy is also reported to be seeking some knowledge of Christ and Christianity. So, there is hope I suppose.

zeroturbulence said:
Psychology Today defines it as "An inflated sense of self."

That is different from self-esteem, which is a healthy sense of self...


The one person that comes to my mind when I hear narcissist is Miley Cyrus during her twerking, sticking-her-tongue-out-constantly days... She spoke out against everyone who didn't like her displays of nakedness and simulated porn on stage in front of her young fans too..

Click to expand...
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#31
Sep 4, 2013
30,239
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#31
Another good example (in my opinion) would be


 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#32
Jun 30, 2015
24,752
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#32
Galatea said:
Thanks for the post. I guess I was confused as I know I meet some of the characteristics, so was looking for behavioral examples- but did not express this in my op. I have a tendency to be self absorbed and inward looking, so kind of wondered if this was the same thing or not.
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By this and your other descriptions of yourself, you sound like an introverted perfectionist (similar to me) rather than a narcissist. You're also highly intelligent, so you think about things in more detail than some people do. I would suggest that you do some research on the subject, with a focus on personality traits. I learned a huge amount about myself by taking a few 'tests' and reading the results. :)
 
Socreta93

Socreta93

Senior Member
#33
Jul 28, 2015
2,247
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#33
[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]A Narcissist:

has a grandiose sense of self-importance [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by other special people [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]requires excessive admiration [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]strong sense of entitlement [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]lacks empathy [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]arrogant affect.

Do these apply to you?[/FONT]
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#34
#34
p_rehbein said:
You know that there are some reports that she has begun to change, and returning to her "raisings." Don't know, but I have seen some reports that all of this way out there stuff she went wild with has come to an end/or is being tapered down. That Beeber guy is also reported to be seeking some knowledge of Christ and Christianity. So, there is hope I suppose.
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They were both really young and just being rebellious. Supposedly, the human brain does not mature until around 25, so they didn't really think about the long term effects of their behaviors and just thought about attention.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#35
Aug 2, 2009
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#35
And I just remembered that Miley is Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter....

 
WineRose

WineRose

Senior Member
#36
Jan 3, 2017
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Row A, Column 9
#36
Huh, Galatea? You?! A narcissist?! Hah! Don't make me laugh...you're way too cool to be one...
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#37
#37
WineRose said:
Huh, Galatea? You?! A narcissist?! Hah! Don't make me laugh...you're way too cool to be one...
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I wouldn't say I am cool, nerd is more my lane. But thank you, very much.
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#38
#38
Socreta93 said:
A Narcissist:

has a grandiose sense of self-importance
is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by other special people
requires excessive admiration
strong sense of entitlement
takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
lacks empathy
is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her
arrogant affect.

Do these apply to you?
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Some do, but not all. I am somewhat envious, and I do idealize love. I think idealizing love is being a Romantic as in big R, like the Romantics in the 1800s.

I have a theory that no one understands anyone else, not completely. But that applies to everyone and not just me.

So, I guess I have some narcissistic tendencies, but maybe not fullblown narcissism. Navel gazing and self absorbed might be more appropos.
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#39
#39
Galatea said:
Some do, but not all. I am somewhat envious, and I do idealize love. I think idealizing love is being a Romantic as in big R, like the Romantics in the 1800s.

I have a theory that no one understands anyone else, not completely. But that applies to everyone and not just me.

So, I guess I have some narcissistic tendencies, but maybe not fullblown narcissism. Navel gazing and self absorbed might be more appropos.
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I think everyone has some narcissistic qualities....some however have a narcisstic personality disorder which I know you don't have. According to the research people have done narcissists are controlling, OCD and its all about them....if you were going after married men and you didn't care who you hurt to get them including the children then you may have a case, but just having a desire to be romanced and a few control issues is nothing :)
 
slave

slave

Senior Member
#40
Mar 20, 2015
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#40
(Proverbs 21:24): “Proud,” “Haughty,” “ Scoffer,” are his names, Who acts with insolent pride.

We all can resort to self-awareness, but "insolent pride" is a step beyond that, in viewing narcissism. It entails a demeanor of showing a rude and arrogant lack of respect. Deep pleasure in self assessment and self accomplishments; (mentally, physically, and in the wake of ill-gained pious spirituality). Contemptuous and disdainful and mocking. It's pride with steroids! A loathing of humility.
 
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