Stay here and keep watch with me. - Luke 26:38
We sometimes guage Christian life and spirituality in terms of what have accomplished or what we have done for God. One over-looked feature of spirituality is that of sharing the very heart of God. One almost revolts at the thought of such intimacy or closeness to God, but our Lord calls his disciples to stay with Him in his deepest hour of sorrow. Have you ever thought to ask God to share in his sorrows and heart for a broken humanity? If you were in Gethemane that night would you accept the call to watch with Jesus?
Our Lord at times is seeking those who will simply "watch and pray" with him. Not seek great things in his name or big goals but to simply be at his feet, caring about how the Lord feels. In some way to minister to the very Lord himself. The Old Testament priesthood had this element of ministering and appeasing the Lord himself. While our Lord in the incarnation came into humanity he was touched and ministered to by the tears and the hair of a forgiven woman. As the world grows exceedingly worse in sin and evil, God's heart breaks even more for those he died for. Will we minister to the Lord's heart in such times when evil itself seems to triumph? When last has your heart been broken on the inside for those around you who were lost and without the hope of Christ? When last has a tear dropped from your eye for those who are on their way to a Christless eternity?
There is a simple song sung in a Christian community that can be perhaps the echo of the Lord to our heart today: "Stay with me, remain here with me. Watch and pray, watch and pray. My heart is nearly broken with sorrow. Remain here with me, stay awake and pray." Will you hear the Lord's voice today? He is still waiting for you.
I know just what you mean, something I have often spoken to him about is how I want a closeness and intimacy with him that is as if it is no longer two different hearts and souls like it's no longer him and Blain but somehow one deeply intertwined mind heart and soul. I often tell him how I one day want to be so close to him that I see what he sees and think what he thinks and that I even feel what he is feeling at any given time whether that is joy sorrow anger or whatever I want to be able to ready his heart and for my heart to confirm what his heart is feeling and saying.