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Thread: A serious (and self centered) thread

  1. #1
    Senior Member Yeraza_Bats's Avatar
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    Default A serious (and self centered) thread

    So, Ive noticed that Ive been having alot of problems with this forum lately. Not on a technical level btw, but on a more personal level. I find that I get a bit frustrated from this site, more than other sites which of course have these same problems to /some/ degree, and I often have have some feelings of anger from this site.

    Like, Ive noticed that I take things personally here, and maybe even jump to conclusions, or judge posts people make too harshly. Im going to post a few examples merely for clarity, and I hope that no one takes them personally.

    But like, sometimes I or another person I see will post something, like a fault they have, or a struggle, and someone will write a post about how they shouldnt do that. And they may not be judgmental in their post, they may think they are being helpful. But I often read it as criticism to someone trying to admit to other followers of Christ about their struggles, or something along those lines. And I then find myself being angry towards them for doing so.

    I also often see posts that put down other parts of the forum, and that often makes me grumpy too, even if I dont post there. I feel like its just passing judgement down on others, as if those saying it are better. But of course, the people posting that may be dealing with the same feelings with that part of the forum. But I find myself getting grumpy and looking down on those making such posts.

    And then theres the problem with just a lack of communication. Like, when talking about certain issues, it can feel like someone always has to take over the thread and go on about love and junk, when it doesnt have any relevance over the thread. And I find myself turning over to spiteful thinking, assuming the person doing it is only merely doing so for the sake of getting likes and looking more "righteous" than others. But they could actually have that problem too, and think they are doing good by doing so.

    Is it just me, or can a Christian forum be really hard to deal with? I dont have this problem irl, I actually generally tend to really enjoy the company of others who share my faith in Christ. But in an online community, it seems to be challenging. And many of the issues I brought up here, Im absolutely certain that others have had those feelings towards my posts.

    If anyone here deals with these kinda thoughts and feelings, how do you deal with them? Do you ever feel like you should just walk away from the forum for good? Do you feel you have a pretty good mindset to deal with these issues?
    (Being brief with this thread cuz gotta go to bed soon, will respond and post more tomorrow after work)
    Ugly, Miri, Karraster and 9 others like this.
    I am a strong supporter of followers of Christ who struggle with the lbgt lifestyle. If you are struggling in faith with this like I do, feel free to contact me for support, encouragement or even for a friend. Or to give me your much needed support and encouragement as well

    Do not follow your heart, but guard it.
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    Who is the liar? It is he who denies that Jesus is the Christ. It is the antichrist that denies the Father and the Son.
    1 John 2:22

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  2. #2


    Zi
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    I hope this doesn't bother you.. I often think of you because where I am I see a guy that reminds me of you(photos from the unmask thread)..
    I don't know where else to tell you..

    I have problems with getting put off by posts here. I think I've gotten better at it. With so many different backgrounds, cultures, personalities, these things will happen. Definitely an eye opener. I appreciate the opportunity to experience it and grow

  3. #3
    Senior Member Willie-T's Avatar
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    I've found that remembering that "Some do, some don't, and some will, and some won't... so what?" really helps to keep things in perspective.
    Joidevivre and 1ofthem like this.
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    Thanks for sharing Yeraza_Bats, something most if not all must feel at times. Yes there's lots of misunderstanding going on, just read thru any thread it's likely you'll see it to some degree. Perhaps one day we will find out it was not as important to be right about everything, as it was how we treated one another with whom we did not see eye to eye.
    Yeraza_Bats and Magenta like this.

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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    In real life it's easier to choose who's around you. And people tend to naturally gravitate towards those with similar belief systems and attitudes.
    Coming here is like being force fed all those people you choose to avoid, for whatever reason.

    I can say two things. In all my real world experiences I've never witnessed so many Christians with such spiritual pride and ego. It's not everyone, but the frequency is astounding for me.
    Also I notice some of the negative habits I've picked up here.
    I was once eating out and overheard two Christians chatting about their church. I spent nearly the entire time critiquing, in my mind, every belief they gave. And if they said Anything I disagreed with I thought "if that's what they teach I'd never go to That church". This was not a habit I had before CC.
    I caught myself eventually and thought through more what they were saying. Sure I disagreed here and there but generally it was nothing major. That's when I saw I had picked up that mindset it took it with me off CC.
    This is why I can sometimes criticize some parts of the site. They have a detriment. Not just to me, but to many others.

    But, overall, online communication is trickier to read as well. A few years ago i posted something in a thread and people were surprised to see me being funny. This shocked me because peole that know me more personally know I'm a big goof usually. And it wasn't the first time I'd posted such a thing. Confusing.

    Lastly I think there are those individuals that just rub us the wring way no matter what. Seeing them may raise our ire a bit, and skew our attitude and perceptions about the rest of the site.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Joidevivre's Avatar
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    I take this site "lightly" for lack of a better word. But, if you look at my responses, I usually do not give very much either. S

    Everything that is posted has its interesting points whether or not I agree or not. I've always been curious about what other Christians think about things. But if a thread begins to get weird or off track, I just leave it.
    Yeraza_Bats likes this.

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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Yeraza_Bats View Post
    So, Ive noticed that Ive been having alot of problems with this forum lately. Not on a technical level btw, but on a more personal level. I find that I get a bit frustrated from this site, more than other sites which of course have these same problems to /some/ degree, and I often have have some feelings of anger from this site.

    Like, Ive noticed that I take things personally here, and maybe even jump to conclusions, or judge posts people make too harshly. Im going to post a few examples merely for clarity, and I hope that no one takes them personally.

    But like, sometimes I or another person I see will post something, like a fault they have, or a struggle, and someone will write a post about how they shouldnt do that. And they may not be judgmental in their post, they may think they are being helpful. But I often read it as criticism to someone trying to admit to other followers of Christ about their struggles, or something along those lines. And I then find myself being angry towards them for doing so.

    I also often see posts that put down other parts of the forum, and that often makes me grumpy too, even if I dont post there. I feel like its just passing judgement down on others, as if those saying it are better. But of course, the people posting that may be dealing with the same feelings with that part of the forum. But I find myself getting grumpy and looking down on those making such posts.

    And then theres the problem with just a lack of communication. Like, when talking about certain issues, it can feel like someone always has to take over the thread and go on about love and junk, when it doesnt have any relevance over the thread. And I find myself turning over to spiteful thinking, assuming the person doing it is only merely doing so for the sake of getting likes and looking more "righteous" than others. But they could actually have that problem too, and think they are doing good by doing so.

    Is it just me, or can a Christian forum be really hard to deal with? I dont have this problem irl, I actually generally tend to really enjoy the company of others who share my faith in Christ. But in an online community, it seems to be challenging. And many of the issues I brought up here, Im absolutely certain that others have had those feelings towards my posts.

    If anyone here deals with these kinda thoughts and feelings, how do you deal with them? Do you ever feel like you should just walk away from the forum for good? Do you feel you have a pretty good mindset to deal with these issues?
    (Being brief with this thread cuz gotta go to bed soon, will respond and post more tomorrow after work)
    Often.

    And quite often people judge me thinking I meant something that I never even thought to mean.

    How do I deal with it? Are you asking on a bad day or a good day? lol

    You've probably seen me on bad days. I'm the poster child for what NOT to do.

    On good days, I try to come up with how I could be reading that wrong. And after getting to know some people I often can. Some really are the love-love-love kinds of people. I really can't conceive that they're doing it for likes, because... well why? I often find I can predict likes like Steve Spielberg can predict movies. He had two movies come out one year -- one was going to make millions and the other one was a cute little film he wanted to make just because. The money maker was Poltergeist. The cute little film was ET. Ooops! I'm like that. I expect likes on some things I wrote, but I rarely get a single like. I expect some won't even be noticed, and they get lots of likes. In the end, what's a like even matter?

    It also helps to give people breaks. PennEd is good at thinking the person had a tough day and chose to take it out on out on others, so he figures a friend is good when your grumpy.

    Just as long as I know there's another human being who has hurts and feeling that we take into account, it works about the majority of times.
    Ugly and Yeraza_Bats like this.
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    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

  8. #8
    Senior Member AbigailZeke's Avatar
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    YB! I did notice your grumpy posts a few days ago. Hey at least you're open about it.

    It's understandable. IRL, people don't normally speak about their struggles to people they don't know and other people don't normally jump to conclusions so we don't have much opportunity to be bothered offline.

    Online, however, we can just write about anything with or without regard to whoever is reading. So, it's perfectly understandable why you only feel this happening in CC.

    I can't write long right now, but please don't decide on leaving the forum for good yet. I made that mistake when I was fed up and decided based on my emotions. Take a short break though. That generally helps.

    Also, I think it helps to think of everyone else as going through the same / similar struggles as us. Like, right now you may feel bad about your own grumpiness and the previous posts you've made. In the same way, other people are going through other things too. They could have said things without using their brains, or because they were focused on getting their message across that they didn't care about helping at all.

    We can't really blame them because we all have those days.

    We're all on the same ground here. If you get angry about how people react, be angry. Then, when the feeling is gone, forgive them and forgive yourself.
    Yeraza_Bats likes this.
    How blessed is the person whose sins the Lord will never charge against him! – Psalm 32:2, Romans 4:8
    For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes. – Romans 10:4
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  9. #9
    Senior Member Yeraza_Bats's Avatar
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    I wanted to let everyone who took the time to post here know that I DID read all of your responses : p I just wasnt yet ready to make a comeback to the site yet. Aside from dealing with some frustrations here, Im also dealing with alot in my personal life too, and I havent yet made time to come back and respond and all that.

    Ive found that alot of things are causing me to feel a bit angry and frustrated lately, and Ive been wanting to get away from such things and spend more time in prayer. But I dont actually plan on totally leaving this site. I hope I dont get too personal for anyone here, but I often do get PMs and such from people about my past life, from people who deal with it or know someone who does, which is why I think I was drawn to this site anyway. I always like to help people however I can when it comes to issues of faith, and I hope that I can keep doing that.

    I saw some good advice here though, if things seem to be becoming too divisive or whatever, maybe I should take time to just leave the conversation and just breathe a bit : p
    AbigailZeke and Zi like this.
    I am a strong supporter of followers of Christ who struggle with the lbgt lifestyle. If you are struggling in faith with this like I do, feel free to contact me for support, encouragement or even for a friend. Or to give me your much needed support and encouragement as well

    Do not follow your heart, but guard it.
    (Proverbs 4:23)


    Who is the liar? It is he who denies that Jesus is the Christ. It is the antichrist that denies the Father and the Son.
    1 John 2:22

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  10. #10
    Senior Member Yeraza_Bats's Avatar
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Zi View Post
    I hope this doesn't bother you.. I often think of you because where I am I see a guy that reminds me of you(photos from the unmask thread)..
    I don't know where else to tell you..
    No, that doesnt bother me : p Its sorta odd, though. Haha. Am glad you think of me....I guess? Not really sure what the proper response is for this : p

    Quote Originally Posted by Karraster View Post
    Thanks for sharing Yeraza_Bats, something most if not all must feel at times. Yes there's lots of misunderstanding going on, just read thru any thread it's likely you'll see it to some degree. Perhaps one day we will find out it was not as important to be right about everything, as it was how we treated one another with whom we did not see eye to eye.
    I would like to say that with me, its not so much a feeling a need to be "right", as much as being mad that people are dividing others on important issues. Its not that people disagree with me that makes me mad on this site MOST of the time, its that people fight over things that I think should be clear as Christians.
    BUT, I do totally think youre right, I do think that my problem is that I judge too harshly and misunderstand people, and that causes me to react wrongly towards them. Its definitely something I need to work on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ugly View Post

    I can say two things. In all my real world experiences I've never witnessed so many Christians with such spiritual pride and ego. It's not everyone, but the frequency is astounding for me.
    Also I notice some of the negative habits I've picked up here.
    I was once eating out and overheard two Christians chatting about their church. I spent nearly the entire time critiquing, in my mind, every belief they gave. And if they said Anything I disagreed with I thought "if that's what they teach I'd never go to That church". This was not a habit I had before CC.
    I caught myself eventually and thought through more what they were saying. Sure I disagreed here and there but generally it was nothing major. That's when I saw I had picked up that mindset it took it with me off CC.
    This is why I can sometimes criticize some parts of the site. They have a detriment. Not just to me, but to many others.

    But, overall, online communication is trickier to read as well. A few years ago i posted something in a thread and people were surprised to see me being funny. This shocked me because peole that know me more personally know I'm a big goof usually. And it wasn't the first time I'd posted such a thing. Confusing.

    Lastly I think there are those individuals that just rub us the wring way no matter what. Seeing them may raise our ire a bit, and skew our attitude and perceptions about the rest of the site.
    I had a similar problem just yesterday, I went to a Church with a friend of mine, and this Church was very open about their belief in the pre-trib rapture. I dont believe in pre-trib rapture, and after the sermon when we were alone together talking about the sermon, there was a moment where I wanted to blantantly criticize the pastor for his views there. And not in a constructive manner, but just to put it down. I caught myself and realized it wasnt even a major issue. Its easy to let yourself get caught in such thinking when you arent alert.

    And youre right, I have definitely let these issues of mine spill over to others on the forum, Im not totally sure what the solution is just yet, but some change in my way of thinking, and taking a break from stressful conversations might be a good step.

    Quote Originally Posted by Depleted View Post


    On good days, I try to come up with how I could be reading that wrong. And after getting to know some people I often can. Some really are the love-love-love kinds of people. I really can't conceive that they're doing it for likes, because... well why? I often find I can predict likes like Steve Spielberg can predict movies. He had two movies come out one year -- one was going to make millions and the other one was a cute little film he wanted to make just because. The money maker was Poltergeist. The cute little film was ET. Ooops! I'm like that. I expect likes on some things I wrote, but I rarely get a single like. I expect some won't even be noticed, and they get lots of likes. In the end, what's a like even matter?

    It also helps to give people breaks. PennEd is good at thinking the person had a tough day and chose to take it out on out on others, so he figures a friend is good when your grumpy.

    Just as long as I know there's another human being who has hurts and feeling that we take into account, it works about the majority of times.
    I can see why SOME people would post merely for the likes : p Getting praise feels good, haha. And people like validation that they are "accepted" among others, and will post in order to receive such things : p
    But, to think that EVERYONE is just that kinda person is definitely wrong. Which I tried to touch upon in my OP, judging too harshly and all that. Its something I need to get over if Im gonna take part in an online community.
    I am a strong supporter of followers of Christ who struggle with the lbgt lifestyle. If you are struggling in faith with this like I do, feel free to contact me for support, encouragement or even for a friend. Or to give me your much needed support and encouragement as well

    Do not follow your heart, but guard it.
    (Proverbs 4:23)


    Who is the liar? It is he who denies that Jesus is the Christ. It is the antichrist that denies the Father and the Son.
    1 John 2:22

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  11. #11


    Zi
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    As much as any of us think we have it right the word says we only know in part. Those of us in our most earnest attempts thinking we have the answer, don't fully.. I know for myself I need to heed that.. Division, strife, giving ultimatum questions and those that need an absolute answer come from the enemy... We should be at peace and rest.. we don't have to answer everyone. Jesus answered questions with questions. We only know He was right to because we live today. Imagine then who would be there accusing Him also..
    Hope that be of some comfort and rest to you.
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    Default Re: A serious (and self centered) thread

    this is the closest ive ever had to legit fellowship with other believers

    i dont have much to compare it to

    but when i first got here i actually bumped heads with a lot of people and took things very seriously


    a couple months and 1 deleted account later

    ive kinda gotten over it

    i personally feel like God used this place to work patience in me
    to the point its dramatically changed how i deal with people in real life (for the better)
    Yeraza_Bats and AbigailZeke like this.

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