Sexual chemistry: When it's missing from your marriage

Also, for those who have indicated that my desires for passionate sex with chemistry are lust or desires of the flesh, I challenge you that when your desire is to have those things within your marriage, that Is is not lust, fleshly desires, sinful, or ungodly. I desire what God intends for my husband and I. God made sex and he wants it to be as enjoyable as can be within the covenant of marriage. To condemn or judge a married person for wanting more of this in his/her marriage is not only unBiblical, but in is inaccurate and overly conservative to the detriment of marriage.

I identify all too well with your situation. My heartaches for you because I understand the depth of the struggles you face. I wonder, before you married did you ever see a counselor to help you work through some of the problems you faced growing up? Have you and your husband considered seeing a counselor together? Maybe even someone who specializes in sexual issues? Maybe this would be helpful. I know of a Christian Counselor Network tool that allows you to seek out counselors in your area if you think that would be beneficial.

Coming from a married and Christian perspective, coping with different sex drives can be very difficult. I believe a key to reconciling those differences is conversation. Being open about your expectations and coming to a place where both individuals can be satisfied is a huge part of marriage. Unfortunately, at least from my own experience, it seems like there is a negative connotation associated with being a married, Christian couple and not instantly having this crazy amazing sex life. I didn’t marry my husband wholly for sexual satisfaction, is it bonus? Absolutely! But it isn’t the entirety of our relationship. We have a lifetime to grow and get better about satisfying each other and giving one another our best. We want to get better for one another and one way we do that is by research. By reading and learning more about this struggle because I believe it’s more wide spread than people like to admit. Here is an article that shares from a perspective that you may be able to relate to. Thanks for having the courage to ask such a difficult question! I hope you are able to find some answers that are helpful to you!