The Terrible Advice Thread

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joefizz

Guest
To show good table manners be sure to use your shirt or sleeve to to wipe off your face when you get food on it or especially barbecue sauce or ketchup not only will people stare at you showing they admire your style but they'll be sure to mention your behavior later to you.
 
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joefizz

Guest
In a job pay close attention to posted signs of rules and caution be sure to read them and then ignore them through out each day because rules and warnings of caution are just posted to keep you from doing your job and don't help to keep you or anyone safe or from being distracted from your work,always good to do things in your own "intelligent" way.
 
Jan 27, 2015
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When using a knife or chainsaw, make sure your hand is right in front of whatever you're cutting.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
When using a knife or chainsaw, make sure your hand is right in front of whatever you're cutting.
And be sure to not use protective equipment like gloves or goggles,because they don't help keep you from harm they only make someone look out of fashion.
 
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joefizz

Guest
If your boss asks "just how dumb are you"?
be sure to reply"I'm not dumb I have an answer for everything".
 
J

joefizz

Guest
When a boss says"your fired",be sure to ask "in which way"?
 
J

joefizz

Guest
When trying to make a point make every sentence a run on sentence and drag them out for as long as possible to show you are not boring and everyone will listen intently to you!
 
J

joefizz

Guest
Chew your food exactly 30 times before swallowing a piece of food!(bob newhart show reference)
 

Mem

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
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Raw meats should be consumed thoroughly before cooking.
&
Always eat your hands before washing.
 
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joefizz

Guest
Always tell someone what to do even despite not taking one's own advice.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
Tell people love is an absolute myth.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
Believe that someone is going to do something wrong because you just "know".
 

WineRose

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
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Row A, Column 9
Do you have a big, ugly stain on your expensive carpet? Use maple syrup! It works better than water!
 
Jan 27, 2015
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Do you have a big, ugly stain on your expensive carpet? Use maple syrup! It works better than water!
If you don't have maple syrup, I hear blood samples stealthily taken from your local doctor's office will work too.