As we know we are to Love thy neighbor. But as you know the most important relationship is with Christ. A couple of years ago after a week of watching testimonies I had, had enough and gave it all to the Lord. Id like to know were you are at with your walk with Yeshua. Or at least were you think you are as it can sometimes hard to tell.
The most important relationship
- Thread starter Monnkai
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Well for me it's a bit complicated, I don't really think I rely so much on how I feel in his standing as I used to which is good because it was not a good place to feel like your in, but on the other hand I still have yet to even begin to understand and see who and what I am in him and how he sees me on a day to day basis I guess I have an identity crisis lol.
I know that he and I are very close and deeply in love I don't have to feel that love flowing through me to know this and yet it still feels like there is such a distance between us because i long for something that is far deeper but i am just impatient and so I seek him out however I can as if I am frantically climbing a large mountain giving everything I have just make it a little closer to the top and yet it seems so far off.
on the other hand ever since my salvation have been excited to go home and to be with him forever even as a Christian I have felt like an alien like I was abnormal even among other believers I have felt this way I'm not entirely sure why but for some reason only recently I am actually ready to go home like it's not because of excitement or because of the harshness of life just out of nowhere inside I feel this sense of readiness. Sure before I was hoping and was excited to go home however that would be whether the rapture death or say he just in his mercy took me home but never have I felt actually ready inside.
And then there is this burning fire inside that keeps me going and moving forwards always seeking to have his heart and always seeking to become strong like him simply so that in turn he and I can help others to be strong and with all of that mess going on inside I am always contemplating about how he can use me because I have no special skills and am not smart I'm not strong nor do I have a lot of money I am not built for this world and can only do little small things for people whenever I can and yet I feel as if those subtle little things are doing far more in his eyes than I realize maybe even he prefers that kind of work.
So ya as you can my relationship with him is a bit complex but I also keep moving forward because the way I see it I am in a training period so I look to the sky and move forwards even when I am weak and beaten as long as I keep going even if it's just trudging or crawling
I know that he and I are very close and deeply in love I don't have to feel that love flowing through me to know this and yet it still feels like there is such a distance between us because i long for something that is far deeper but i am just impatient and so I seek him out however I can as if I am frantically climbing a large mountain giving everything I have just make it a little closer to the top and yet it seems so far off.
on the other hand ever since my salvation have been excited to go home and to be with him forever even as a Christian I have felt like an alien like I was abnormal even among other believers I have felt this way I'm not entirely sure why but for some reason only recently I am actually ready to go home like it's not because of excitement or because of the harshness of life just out of nowhere inside I feel this sense of readiness. Sure before I was hoping and was excited to go home however that would be whether the rapture death or say he just in his mercy took me home but never have I felt actually ready inside.
And then there is this burning fire inside that keeps me going and moving forwards always seeking to have his heart and always seeking to become strong like him simply so that in turn he and I can help others to be strong and with all of that mess going on inside I am always contemplating about how he can use me because I have no special skills and am not smart I'm not strong nor do I have a lot of money I am not built for this world and can only do little small things for people whenever I can and yet I feel as if those subtle little things are doing far more in his eyes than I realize maybe even he prefers that kind of work.
So ya as you can my relationship with him is a bit complex but I also keep moving forward because the way I see it I am in a training period so I look to the sky and move forwards even when I am weak and beaten as long as I keep going even if it's just trudging or crawling
"Well for me it's a bit complicated, I don't really think I rely so much on how I feel in his standing as I used to which is good because it was not a good place to feel like your in, but on the other hand I still have yet to even begin to understand and see who and what I am in him and how he sees me on a day to day basis I guess I have an identity crisis lol."
Who I am in Christ and how He sees me...keeps me sincerely humble. I'm sober, smoke free and stronger emotionally and mentally than I've ever been. He taught me so much when I quit college for the last time. He said, "Now, I'll teach you". In a few months, my pastor introduced ministry classes. Three years later, I graduated. The only diploma still visible in my home. The only one that matters. I do look to Him daily when I mess up daily. It's an awesome relationship that I highly recommend.
Be blessed! -student
Who I am in Christ and how He sees me...keeps me sincerely humble. I'm sober, smoke free and stronger emotionally and mentally than I've ever been. He taught me so much when I quit college for the last time. He said, "Now, I'll teach you". In a few months, my pastor introduced ministry classes. Three years later, I graduated. The only diploma still visible in my home. The only one that matters. I do look to Him daily when I mess up daily. It's an awesome relationship that I highly recommend.
Be blessed! -student
D
I think the Lord teaches his kids just two lessons:
1. "I really, really, really, REALLY LOVE you."
2. "Trust me."
That's it. The two things the Lord wants us to understand as much as possible in however long he keeps us on earth.
Hubby is the one who has to keep learning God really really... loves him. (He fell off a 20-foot ladder in a candle factory one time, saw a bunch of wooden boxes he was headed for on the way down, and that's the moment God told him how much He loves him. He got a few weeks off for his injuries, and that message was the crux of why he spent those weeks studying God's word. Two years ago, he was sedated for eight weeks after massive heart failure. He has no memories of those two months and Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year were all included in them, so he had every reason to feel all sorts of negative, scary things when he was finally awake, and yet first thing God told him was He loved him, so he's been boggled by that awesome news ever since. That's the kind of guy, hubby is.)
Me? I get "Trust me."
Three months after I came to the Lord, Mom died. Cannot. Live. Without. Mommy. God tells me, "Trust me." Didn't want to, but ultimate, he proved he was trustworthy.
Senior year of college, I'm told I can't get certified to teach. I went to college to learn how to teach. Teaching was the only thing I ever wanted to do. There was no Plan B, and no money to go for another choice in majors. God tells me, "Trust me."
No idea what to do after college, and finding any job becomes close to impossible. (I cleaned houses.) Ended up making about $10 a week. "Trust me." I kept my little rented room and had either popcorn or pressed ham sandwiches all summer, but I made it on $10 through the Lord.
Each time something like that happened, I figured I got "Trust me" before, but He just kept bringing different circumstances along to show different kinds of trust needed. Lack of work, sicknesses, later on when hubby became hubby, he broke his back (not paralyzed), so all new levels of no-money came. Lack of heat, lack of place to live, a few health scares, etc. It's as if my early life prepared me for deeper levels of "Trust me," and every new obstacle I go right back to "Cannot. Do. This."
But after 45 years of this, I might actually be finally getting, "You never were supposed to do it. I was. And I did. So trust me."
Not sure. Every time I think I got it, the Lord brings along something else that pulls me past any strength I have to remind me again. After all, I am a slow learner.
1. "I really, really, really, REALLY LOVE you."
2. "Trust me."
That's it. The two things the Lord wants us to understand as much as possible in however long he keeps us on earth.
Hubby is the one who has to keep learning God really really... loves him. (He fell off a 20-foot ladder in a candle factory one time, saw a bunch of wooden boxes he was headed for on the way down, and that's the moment God told him how much He loves him. He got a few weeks off for his injuries, and that message was the crux of why he spent those weeks studying God's word. Two years ago, he was sedated for eight weeks after massive heart failure. He has no memories of those two months and Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year were all included in them, so he had every reason to feel all sorts of negative, scary things when he was finally awake, and yet first thing God told him was He loved him, so he's been boggled by that awesome news ever since. That's the kind of guy, hubby is.)
Me? I get "Trust me."
Three months after I came to the Lord, Mom died. Cannot. Live. Without. Mommy. God tells me, "Trust me." Didn't want to, but ultimate, he proved he was trustworthy.
Senior year of college, I'm told I can't get certified to teach. I went to college to learn how to teach. Teaching was the only thing I ever wanted to do. There was no Plan B, and no money to go for another choice in majors. God tells me, "Trust me."
No idea what to do after college, and finding any job becomes close to impossible. (I cleaned houses.) Ended up making about $10 a week. "Trust me." I kept my little rented room and had either popcorn or pressed ham sandwiches all summer, but I made it on $10 through the Lord.
Each time something like that happened, I figured I got "Trust me" before, but He just kept bringing different circumstances along to show different kinds of trust needed. Lack of work, sicknesses, later on when hubby became hubby, he broke his back (not paralyzed), so all new levels of no-money came. Lack of heat, lack of place to live, a few health scares, etc. It's as if my early life prepared me for deeper levels of "Trust me," and every new obstacle I go right back to "Cannot. Do. This."
But after 45 years of this, I might actually be finally getting, "You never were supposed to do it. I was. And I did. So trust me."
Not sure. Every time I think I got it, the Lord brings along something else that pulls me past any strength I have to remind me again. After all, I am a slow learner.