Can't See God Correctly

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flatlinej

Junior Member
Dec 7, 2017
28
1
0
#1
I really don't know how to say it, but I'll try. I've been born again for two years, its been the hardest two years ever. I've read a lot of my Bible, pray, I even tell God my frustrations, even though I'm embarrassed by them. truth is, I'm not feeling it. after reading tons of stuff, I'm so weary of hearing that dying to self is a good thing, we can't have our dreams come true, etc. God has made me give up a large number of things, how can I not be upset? when I think about leaving this faith behind, I think to myself: I can't. He would punish me, even take my life if he had to, I'm stuck. so that's how I feel lately, and a lot..stuck with Him, not feeling good about it. I'm tired of christian cliches, and guilt trips,cookie cutter nonsense, phrases like..its not about you, your a horrible sinner, etc. these things don't help people feel better about themselves. I try to notice everything he does, I'm thankful for little things. I just feel helpless. I'm trying to write out my feelings more, but this will take time. I've prayed often for Him to give me a better perception of him, for months now, and he never has. I don't know why I'm putting myself out to be beaten up, but I'll try anyway. What can you do if you feel flatline? if when you read his promises, there's nothing there? you live a miserable existence, a trial that's extended an entire year, and no breaks in between? its hard to look at God and not be upset.
If my views can't get better I'll be in a bad place.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#2
I don't believe that God made you give up things but rather this was a choice that you made to give up things that are harmful in your spiritual walk with the Lord. Don't feel helpless for this is an emotion that one should feel when they live their lives apart from God. Fear not, says the Lord for He will neither leave you or forsake you. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our community. Welcome to CC.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#4
What helped me was to go through the bible and underline everything it said about God - not necessarily what He said - but the descriptions of His character and feelings.

This brought to me a sense of how He feels. Sure took me out of myself and I began to understand the many dimensions of God. It helped to take me "out of myself" and into a new place of where it really WAS all about Him. New perspective!
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
Hey flatline
It's actually great to see you taking a risk and sharing your struggles. I know what it's like to be afraid to share things because of a fear of being kicked while you're down, especially by the very people who should be building you up. I've dealt with this generally, like on a web site, as well as personally among those who are supposed to be close friends. So that you still speak up shows a strength as well as a genuine heart to learn and grow and to understand better, even if it hurts.
And sometimes the hurt comes not from attacks, but truth. So be prepared for that at times as well.

When i think about how to describe my life i use the term 'living in the valley'. I feel i've received so few breaks in my nearly 30 years as a Christian (holy crap i'm old... sheesh). As someone who has lived it for a long time one thing i would encourage you to do is look at yourself and your choices. As for myself a Lot of my suffering was actually self inflicted. Me being stupid. Of course, at the time, i wouldn't have said it that way. And it took a while for me to get to the point where i had to own up to how much has really been my fault. I don't know you, nor your life, so this may be less of an issue for you than it has been for me. But, to varying degrees, it's true of Everyone. So ask yourself where have You gone wrong since being saved. It helps because you can distinguish your mistakes from things that have been out of your control and helps you have a more balanced perspective on how to view your life.

It sounds like you are dealing with what i went through as a new Christian. I took every message, from any "Christian" source, as truth. Even if those messages conflicted i didn't deny either, i was just confused as to how they could both be true.
Fact is many Christians have a religious attitude and are quite ignorant of the character of God. They often miss the true meaning behind the message. This is why we see groups like Westboro Baptist, as an extreme example. They see God say 'these things are sin and bad' and that's what they focus on. As a result they become religious and focus on rules. But they miss the essence of what God is saying.

It is true, we are to die to ourselves, no debate there. But the flip side of the coin is we are also supposed to be brought to life through God. By learning to focus more on God and less on 'following the rules' we find that life. And as we find and grow in that new life we change and following 'the rules' because a natural progression of that.
Not meaning that we shouldn't also be working against sin, but our focus should be on God first. God doesn't tell people 'change, then come to me', He says 'if you want to change, come to Me'. Our change is not our power, but a product of growing closer to Him. If we view our relationship with God as a chore and requirement and a set of rules then we have completely missed all understanding of God. God is about freedom. God is about change. With change comes freedom. But change comes from God. We just have to be willing to do the work and be willing to allow God to change us, as well as help us as we try to change.

Think of a newly planted tree. If that tree sits in the ground and tries to grow by itself, what happens? Nothing. If that same tree is given water and sunlight what happens? It grows automatically. Think of yourself as that tree and God as the sun and water.

See, you've been trying to do God's job, growing yourself. Really your job is to grow a relationship with God and allow Him to grow change in you. As long as you continue to put the focus on the 'rules' you will continue to be unhappy.

And yes, we are all sinners. But God says
Ephesians 2:8 - For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is a gift from God.
Hebrews 8:12 - For i will be merciful towards their iniquities, their sin i will remember no more.
Psalm 103:12 - He has removed our sins from us as the east is from the west.
And also
Romans 6:1-4 - What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

Hope this helps.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,860
9,579
113
#6
Before you can change your views, try changing your attitude. Cuz this one stinks... God hasn't "made" you give up anything, that's a choice you made on your own. Nor would He "take my life if He had to"... So stop blaming God, and take a look at yourself and see what you need to change to move forward..
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#7
A lot of people will write you a lot of text. And, I suppose that can help you feel better for a time. But, I don't work that way very often.

I like to take one thing, and settle it.... and only that one thing, for the moment.

So, I would ask, specifically, what it is that you seem to resent having given up... and precisely WHY did you feel you were supposed to give those up?
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#8
A lot of people will write you a lot of text. And, I suppose that can help you feel better for a time. But, I don't work that way very often.

I like to take one thing, and settle it.... and only that one thing, for the moment.

So, I would ask, specifically, what it is that you seem to resent having given up... and precisely WHY did you feel you were supposed to give those up?

I agree with Willie here, and it's usually a good idea to ask more questions before we give too much advice.

I would add that when I first got saved I was given a lot of bad advice around my church; I was told to give up a lot of things that just weren't really relevant.
So, although there probably ARE things we need to give up, a new convert is prone to getting a lot of bad advice mixed with the good.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,782
841
113
53
#9
Sister, you are not the first person to question how God works! You arent the first person that doesnt think God is listening or wondering if God truly cares for you as an individual. There is so much I wish I could share with you. Reading Gods word is very important and the more I read and learn what the scripture really says and really means, the closer He draws me to Him and the more I see Him work in my life. Faith is the beginning of a successful ANYTHING! Trusting completely in Him is putting your faith into action. This scripture...Proverbs 3...takes some reading and prayer and more reading to understand how it pertains to you and the plan He has for YOU specifically, but it is a passage about commands and blessings that come with obedience.
Everyone can feel numb to expectations with what seems little fruition, but that begins to disappear when you truly build a PERSONAL relationship with HIM. You cant base outcomes and actions based on others peoples relationships with Him...Ive learned you truly get it, feel it, see it, and know it when you find that one on one with Jesus Christ.
Bless you sister...keep seeking!
 
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AuntieAnt

Guest
#10
Hey flatlinej, nice to meet you, sister. And thank you for sharing your heart with us. I agree with you, it is very tiring to hear "Christian clichés, guilt trips, and cookie cutter nonsense." For the first couple years I was new in Christ, I would feel so jealous of people who boasted of how they always had it together. And I’d feel annoyed and discouraged when they’d spout scriptures like it was a long, tedious science formula that they had figured out and I couldn’t grasp. I'm pretty sure I understand where you're at today. I totally remember crying out in frustration to God, things like, "Who are You, God? How come I don't feel You near me? How am I supposed to believe You when I don’t know You’re real?!"

God is more powerful than I initially thought. Most of all, He's much nicer than I imagined, too. I came from a chaotic, abusive childhood and my young adult life was no picnic either. I was injured deeply in my mind and my attitude was all rooted in guilt and fear. My broken heart was in no condition to trust or believe God. But as I said, our Father is bigger and kinder than I thought. He did all the working it out to prove Himself to me, through circumstances, through His followers, through His Holy Spirit speaking clearly in my heart.

What I'm saying is, you are on the right track by being honest with God. How in the world can you have a relationship with someone you don't know, right? Or worse yet, how can you trust someone you are in fear of? Well, God yearns to have you know Him for real. He wants to love you and wants you to know Him so you can love Him back! He said ask and you'll receive, didn't He? You can see in the Bible where Jesus is always asking people, "What do you want Me to do for you?" And you are doing exactly what Jesus told you to do, you’re asking. That’s called faith. You're seeking God. And God is faithful all by Himself to answer you.

And you know what's REALLY gonna be awesome? Some day, maybe real soon, you're going to look back at December 13[SUP]th[/SUP], 2017 and exclaim to God, "Man, You are so nice to me, Father! You are so faithful to me! I can hardly believe how you got me to trust You! You amaze me, God!" I say it all the time. :)

I wish you a beautiful day, my friend and hope you rest in the Lord and give your mind and heart a break. Thanks for joining us. Peace and grace to you in Christ Jesus!

Give You Rest.jpg
 
Sep 6, 2017
1,331
13
0
#11
[video=youtube;wjLlLPZderk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjLlLPZderk[/video]
 

flatlinej

Junior Member
Dec 7, 2017
28
1
0
#12
Thank you. I think I know where I've messed up as far as my choices go but its more confusing when God brings someone, then creates chaos in that friendship. thats what's happening to me. God has all control so the things he brings are painful when you need healing. its a long story. thanks for saying I shouldn't look at it as a list of rules. I know I shouldn't, its hard not to. yes people say things as truth online, that makes it hard.
 

flatlinej

Junior Member
Dec 7, 2017
28
1
0
#13
Well this is humiliating but I've had to give up homosexuality. I was gay for fifteen years. Also had to give up my career dreams BC I felt God saying no on them. Its really quite embarrassing about the gay thing BC no one is going to understand how much it hurts to let go after you've been through it.
 

flatlinej

Junior Member
Dec 7, 2017
28
1
0
#14
Its people like you that make me want me want to leave the faith. I'll feel how I want to feel thanks...You don't know my story and don't know how hard it is to write out on a forum
 

flatlinej

Junior Member
Dec 7, 2017
28
1
0
#15
Yes its true! we pay attention to what others say, it matters!
 

flatlinej

Junior Member
Dec 7, 2017
28
1
0
#16
hmmm Maybe I look too much to others but I don't know what else to do sometimes. I'll read the word, but sometimes get nothing out of it...
 

flatlinej

Junior Member
Dec 7, 2017
28
1
0
#17
Thank you for the kind words, and testimony it means a lot! If God is kind, I hope I find it.
 

flatlinej

Junior Member
Dec 7, 2017
28
1
0
#18
Great song! I need to hear it again..
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#19
I really don't know how to say it, but I'll try. I've been born again for two years, its been the hardest two years ever. I've read a lot of my Bible, pray, I even tell God my frustrations, even though I'm embarrassed by them. truth is, I'm not feeling it. after reading tons of stuff, I'm so weary of hearing that dying to self is a good thing, we can't have our dreams come true, etc. God has made me give up a large number of things, how can I not be upset? when I think about leaving this faith behind, I think to myself: I can't. He would punish me, even take my life if he had to, I'm stuck. so that's how I feel lately, and a lot..stuck with Him, not feeling good about it. I'm tired of christian cliches, and guilt trips,cookie cutter nonsense, phrases like..its not about you, your a horrible sinner, etc. these things don't help people feel better about themselves. I try to notice everything he does, I'm thankful for little things. I just feel helpless. I'm trying to write out my feelings more, but this will take time. I've prayed often for Him to give me a better perception of him, for months now, and he never has. I don't know why I'm putting myself out to be beaten up, but I'll try anyway. What can you do if you feel flatline? if when you read his promises, there's nothing there? you live a miserable existence, a trial that's extended an entire year, and no breaks in between? its hard to look at God and not be upset.
If my views can't get better I'll be in a bad place.
Remember the Lord's Prayer? The "thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" part? Think of it like this -- you want to learn something that takes a lot of effort to learn, but you like it, and want to be great at it. AND you are honored to be given the world's biggest expert to tutor you to do just that thing for as long as it takes to get up to his expertise. If you wanted to learn ice hockey, you got Wayne Gretsky to teach you ice hockey. And if you get as good as he was, he's sticking with you to get even better. If writing a story, you got (insert whoever you think is THE best writer EVER) to teach you how. If you wanted to learn electric guitar, you got Eric Clapton to teach you.

And they stick with you. I mean they move in, make great roommates, and keep teaching you at every moment, comforting you when you get frustrated, show you exactly how to do it, never lose patience with you, even when you got it wrong 100 times in a row, and even make you as excited about it as they are.

Bingo! That's what the Lord has done for us. He is the all-time expert of the entire universe, rooming in you and he's the perfect roommate. And he keeps showing you how to do it, doesn't get short-tempered when you can't, puts your hands exactly where they need to be, gets all excited when you do get it right -- right along with you -- and keeps going until you can do what he does. Better yet, he's rooming in you, so if you can't do it, he gives you his skills inside you, so you do it.

And whatever he does is perfect, and loving, and brilliant, and above any other ever-conceived person ever. The ultimate tutor.

Not just a tutor. Family! You're adopted into his family.

You could not do what you wanted to do before you were born again, and you still cannot. The bad you used to do, is supposed to be something you don't want to do anymore. And the good you wanted to do but couldn't, can be done through him in youus. This is what he offers -- himself. His skills. His love. His perfect will.

"Thy will be done!" We're supposed to want that. If we don't, there is only one reason we don't want to. Because we weren't born again when we thought we were.

If this is all about escaping hell, you missed the point.
 

BillG

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2017
8,876
4,331
113
#20
I really don't know how to say it, but I'll try. I've been born again for two years, its been the hardest two years ever. I've read a lot of my Bible, pray, I even tell God my frustrations, even though I'm embarrassed by them. truth is, I'm not feeling it. after reading tons of stuff, I'm so weary of hearing that dying to self is a good thing, we can't have our dreams come true, etc. God has made me give up a large number of things, how can I not be upset? when I think about leaving this faith behind, I think to myself: I can't. He would punish me, even take my life if he had to, I'm stuck. so that's how I feel lately, and a lot..stuck with Him, not feeling good about it. I'm tired of christian cliches, and guilt trips,cookie cutter nonsense, phrases like..its not about you, your a horrible sinner, etc. these things don't help people feel better about themselves. I try to notice everything he does, I'm thankful for little things. I just feel helpless. I'm trying to write out my feelings more, but this will take time. I've prayed often for Him to give me a better perception of him, for months now, and he never has. I don't know why I'm putting myself out to be beaten up, but I'll try anyway. What can you do if you feel flatline? if when you read his promises, there's nothing there? you live a miserable existence, a trial that's extended an entire year, and no breaks in between? its hard to look at God and not be upset.
If my views can't get better I'll be in a bad place.
I think they when someone comes to faith it will be hard. The thing is that we have spent our lives doing what we want.
Our mind had been conditioned to please and meet our needs.

So now when we come to faith we need a major paradigm shift of our thoughts.
And that is hard.

What does not help is when fellow believers say "Now you believe, now go do and be"
It really does not help and can add a burden.

Not sure if you have had discipleship or not. I wound be interested to know.

Truth is you have nothing to be embarrassed about with God.
He knows all about you anyways.
He wants you to come before him and lay it on the table.
Then he can help us.

God reveals things in our lives that are wrong and wants to change.
There is a purpose and it's not be a killjoy.

Firstly its to heal us, start this process.
Secondly its to protect us.
He knows how sin damages us, but also how we damage others by our sin.

God does not see you as a horrible sinner, you are the apple of his eyes.
His child.
He loves you so much even where you are at and to work in you to release you from what snares you.

There is nothing you can do to make him love you more and there is nothing you can do to make him love you less.
He is constant.
Same today and tomorrow and yesterday.

He is for you and not against you.