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Thread: 14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD

  1. #1
    Senior Member LightShinesInTheDarkness's Avatar
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    Lightbulb 14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD

    14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD...



    1. He treats lightly those things which the Bible treats seriously.


    2. He makes lots of jokes and treats the sacred with irreverent humor.


    3. He makes as many or more references to pop culture, sports, and secular writings as he does to the Scriptures.


    4. He's wealthy; and he justifies it.


    5. Your "pastor" is a woman.


    6. Your pastor sounds like a secular motivational speaker or self-improvement guru.


    7. He focuses on what God can give you or do for you, rather than on you doing His will.


    8. He puts the word and traditions of men above and before the Word of God.


    9. He makes everybody happy and never offends anyone.


    10. He only talks about what God has done for you and promises you, never about what He expects or requires of you.


    11. His "sermons" are 80% jokes and entertaining anecdotes and 20% spiritual edification.


    12. EVERY sermon is a variation of an evangelistic message.


    13. He "customizes" the Scriptures to suit people's tastes or his own agenda.


    14. His conduct and character do not exemplify that of Jesus Christ.
    MattforJesus and Ezekiel8 like this.
    Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?


  2. #2
    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: 14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD

    Women can be pastors. Just saying..
    inlow likes this.


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  3. #3
    Senior Member mailmandan's Avatar
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    Default Re: 14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD

    Top Ten Ways You Know You're in a Bad Church

    10. The church bus has gun racks

    9. Staff consists of "Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Socio-Pastor"

    8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version"

    7. There is an ATM in the lobby

    6. Services are B.Y.O.S. -- "Bring Your Own Snake"

    5. The choir wears leather robes

    4. There is no cover charge, but communion is a 2 drink minimum

    3. They have karaoke worship time

    2. Ushers ask "Smoking or Non-Smoking?"

    1. The only song the church organist knows is "Innagaddadavita"
    Ugly, PennEd, Pipp and 4 others like this.
    I'm not a bad guy. I'm just misunderstood.

    Galatians 6:14 - But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

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    Default Re: 14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD

    Some of the greatest pastors I have ever known were women.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Lynx's Avatar
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    Default Re: 14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD

    Quote Originally Posted by LightShinesInTheDarkness View Post
    14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD...



    1. He treats lightly those things which the Bible treats seriously.


    2. He makes lots of jokes and treats the sacred with irreverent humor.


    3. He makes as many or more references to pop culture, sports, and secular writings as he does to the Scriptures.


    4. He's wealthy; and he justifies it.


    5. Your "pastor" is a woman.


    6. Your pastor sounds like a secular motivational speaker or self-improvement guru.


    7. He focuses on what God can give you or do for you, rather than on you doing His will.


    8. He puts the word and traditions of men above and before the Word of God.


    9. He makes everybody happy and never offends anyone.


    10. He only talks about what God has done for you and promises you, never about what He expects or requires of you.


    11. His "sermons" are 80% jokes and entertaining anecdotes and 20% spiritual edification.


    12. EVERY sermon is a variation of an evangelistic message.


    13. He "customizes" the Scriptures to suit people's tastes or his own agenda.


    14. His conduct and character do not exemplify that of Jesus Christ.
    Or maybe he's just a pastor who is unfortunate enough to have a congregation that nit-picks and finds fault with everything he says.

    I know some people who keep bouncing from church to church, until they run out of churches within easy Sunday driving distance, then they just stay home on Sunday because no nearby church is good enough for them. What they don't realize is if they ever found a perfect church they wouldn't be allowed in, because if they started attending a perfect church it wouldn't be perfect any more.
    "Do you sing at church?"
    "Yes I sing at church. And I sing at work. And I sing at home... and in the car... at the supermarket... at Wal-Mart..."

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    Default Re: 14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD

    Quote Originally Posted by LightShinesInTheDarkness View Post
    14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD...



    1. He treats lightly those things which the Bible treats seriously.


    2. He makes lots of jokes and treats the sacred with irreverent humor.


    3. He makes as many or more references to pop culture, sports, and secular writings as he does to the Scriptures.


    4. He's wealthy; and he justifies it.


    5. Your "pastor" is a woman.


    6. Your pastor sounds like a secular motivational speaker or self-improvement guru.


    7. He focuses on what God can give you or do for you, rather than on you doing His will.


    8. He puts the word and traditions of men above and before the Word of God.


    9. He makes everybody happy and never offends anyone.


    10. He only talks about what God has done for you and promises you, never about what He expects or requires of you.


    11. His "sermons" are 80% jokes and entertaining anecdotes and 20% spiritual edification.


    12. EVERY sermon is a variation of an evangelistic message.


    13. He "customizes" the Scriptures to suit people's tastes or his own agenda.


    14. His conduct and character do not exemplify that of Jesus Christ.
    15. He gets his sermons from the internet.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: 14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD

    Quote Originally Posted by Speak2Me View Post
    15. He gets his sermons from the internet.
    16. Part of a new generation of modern age man: The Understanding Man (aka The Politically Correct Man, or The Tolerant Man)

  8. #8
    Senior Member WineRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: 14 SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A DUD

    16. If he emails you for money, claiming that he's the prince of Nigeria or some stuff like that.
    Last edited by WineRose; 2 Weeks Ago at 06:50 AM.
    joefizz likes this.
    The odd one out on CC, in more ways than one.

    "Meow, wahhhh ah mew meeeeeow mrraow ah purrr rraaow?!"

    (Translation: Hey, can you please stop asking if this is a dating site?!)

    - My 7-year old Scottish Shorthair.


    :P

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