Why are some people mean?

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Socreta93

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2015
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#1
Simple answer you may think but really think about it. Why do people chose to be mean, chose to hurt others, chose to cause pain to others when it isn't necessary? What causes someone's psyche to go in that direction. I know the answer someone may give is the apple and the forbidden tree, Adam and Eve, blah blah blah... I get that is where sin resulted from but what causes someone to chose evil over good. What satisfaction does someone have being mean to people?
 
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La_Vie_En_Rose

Guest
#2
People are mean to others for many reasons. One reason is because when you are mean to a weaker person, it gives the stronger person a sense of power over the person. I suppose this is bullying. Another reason is some people think being mean is funny, it provides a source of humor- making fun of people because of their looks or disabilities. Another reason why people might be mean is because the person feels bad about himself, so in order not to deal with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, the person is mean in order to “level the playing field”. This happens often with women. If a woman feels bad about her looks or lack of sex appeal, she might say something mean about another woman’s looks.

There are more reasons, I’m sure- but these three come to my mind first.
 
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Stranger36147

Guest
#3
I don't know why some people choose to be cruel. It's a question that I've asked myself many times.

However, believe it or not, I think some good can come out of it. When you know firsthand the pain of being mocked or bullied, it can make you into a more thoughtful, compassionate person. Hopefully, these bad experiences will discourage you from being the same way toward others and you'll know to be more aware of their feelings.

I probably didn't explain this in the best way, but I hope people will understand what I'm trying to say here. I have been bullied and mocked in my life. I think it made me a better person in the end, though.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#4
Some are not mean at all. They are just perceived that way, by the person taking offense.
 

Crimson_Lark

Senior Member
Apr 17, 2012
207
15
18
#6
Simple answer you may think but really think about it. Why do people chose to be mean, chose to hurt others, chose to cause pain to others when it isn't necessary? What satisfaction does someone have being mean to people?
1.) They gain a sense of dominance & power when they are mean to others.
2.) They have a low self-esteem and want the approval of others. When they are mean they feel like they are better than others
and feel better about themselves. If they can get others to laugh at their cruelty it reinforces their behavior and need for approval.
3.) They have a lot of anger due to other life issues. They get to release the anger they feel by being mean to others.

Hopefully this helps on some level.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#7
There are a lot of possible answers. Some covered in this thread, while others have not.
Mental disorders sometimes generate meanness.
Or create such a mental aggitation the sufferer is frequently pushed and this creates a short fuse.
Personal problems, even temporary.
Treated mean by a parent or parents growing up they learn the behavior.
A genuine excess of pride, believing they are better than others, and therefore others are beneath them.
 
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AuntieAnt

Guest
#8
I think lack of self-worth makes people mean. Perhaps they don't feel loved so they create a very different persona (an alter ego) online to be accepted and gain validation. Anyone who agrees with them makes them feel important and gives them a sense of worth. Anyone who disagrees with them is a threat and seen as their enemy.
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,701
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Georgia
#9
Sometimes people are mean so they can "fit in" with other social groups. In order to fit in someone has to be left out... don't want it to be you so you better make it someone else.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#10
There are some people who are mean (insensitive and treat others harshly) because they are in physical or emotional pain. I've been there myself, although with me it usually comes out as sarcasm rather than meanness, but not always...

Even when an animal is in pain it will lash out at anyone that comes near it. Its a natural reflex and there are plenty of people out there experiencing chronic physical and emotional pain (depression, anxiety, grief, resentment, anger, etc..)...

I read once that "We should be kind to everyone because we all have struggles and we don't know what struggles someone else might be going though.." (I'm paraphrasing)
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#11
Simple answer you may think but really think about it. Why do people chose to be mean, chose to hurt others, chose to cause pain to others when it isn't necessary? What causes someone's psyche to go in that direction. I know the answer someone may give is the apple and the forbidden tree, Adam and Eve, blah blah blah... I get that is where sin resulted from but what causes someone to chose evil over good. What satisfaction does someone have being mean to people?
They believe lies instead of God's truth and are bound by sins.

Why do child soldiers kill?

Because that is what they have been taught,
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
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#12
I heard two sayings in church once that I try to remember when I encounter particularly ill-tempered people:

1. "Broken people have sharp edges."

2. "Hurting people hurt people."

A few times I've known someone who was bitterly sarcastic and cruel to others... and then, for some reason, I met other people in that person's life (such as family members), and THOSE people were even MEANER than the person I knew.

I try to remember (or rather, I need God to remind me--a lot) that many people in the world are never raised with so much as even a kind word, and being harsh is all they know, and perhaps even a means of survival.

I just try to hope that maybe a few seeds can be planted into their hearts by all who encounter them.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
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#13
Mean people - eat gravel for breakfast, sharpen their claws on posts, use watermelons for batting practice, sleep on beds of nails, get a kick out of knocking you down. Just joking...

Seriously - I can get mean when I am too hot, too hungry, feel ill and someone is getting on my last nerve, hear a high pitched screaming child, have someone tailgating me in traffic, get over stimulated in a political discussion, think someone is hurting my child or other family member.

I try not to act out in these situations but at times have failed and realize I need God's grace to handle and keep my meaness in check.
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#14
such an honest Post, JL, how refreshing!

often people are considered 'mean' when correcting or sharing Truth in Love -
so very common these days...
 
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AuntieAnt

Guest
#15
Mean people find fault in others and try to correct everyone because it makes them feel righteous and important. They act like they have it all together and never make mistakes. They won’t accept correction themselves and in fact are shocked, offended and lash out when someone tries to show them their error. The Pharisees were like this. Jesus said they don’t know what they’re doing because they’re spiritually blind.
 

Socreta93

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2015
2,244
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#16
I get what you guys are saying about correction and how someone may perceive someone as mean when it wasn't the intent of the other person. But I'm asking about those who have no good-well intentioned involved. The times that there is no reason to act in such a horrible way but they chose to.

Also so many people may have the others best interest at heart but sometimes the way it's delivered and word it can make things worse.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
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Germany
#17
From myself i know that some things trigger me where i say something and afterwards feel realy bad for it.
On the other hand i know people who practically feed from the suffering of others. Before i was saved i had a time where i was like that in some ways because i blocked my own concience and choose to be evil instead and that made me cold against people who were evil to me.
 

shrimp

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2011
1,188
39
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#18
My fault is bitterness and vengeance. And I never get any satisfaction from it but I still do it.
 

Socreta93

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2015
2,244
324
83
#19
From myself i know that some things trigger me where i say something and afterwards feel realy bad for it.
On the other hand i know people who practically feed from the suffering of others. Before i was saved i had a time where i was like that in some ways because i blocked my own concience and choose to be evil instead and that made me cold against people who were evil to me.
So an eye for an eye is what you're saying?
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
36,530
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#20
[video=youtube;M7ZUhbf4f8c]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7ZUhbf4f8c[/video]