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Thread: Funny thing kids say .

  1. #1
    Senior Member Laish's Avatar
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    Default Funny thing kids say .

    Earlier today while driving home from the park with my youngest daughter ( 7 years old) a radio add for the upcoming Avengers movie was aired. The tag line for the movie was where will you be when it all ends ? Then from the backseat I head “duhaa in heaven !” I lost it I could not stop laughing.
    Then I recalled the time I was reading to her out of her Bible. The story of David and Goliath. I was explaining the significance of this story concerning faith when she asked a question. “Dad did you meet David?” Note I am a older guy older than my wife (10 years) and most of our friends. I said no sweetie. Then the next question came (How about Jesus?) I was in tears as I laughed saying no sweetie.
    I have more stories but I would like to hear other stories about funny things kids have said .
    Blessings
    Bill
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    God's Grace is sufficient.

    God wants full custody of your children.
    Not just weekend visits.

    We are entertaining the goats while we should be feeding the sheep.
    Charles Spurgeon

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    I was talking to a 4-year-old at our church today who is sure he wants to be a demolition worker. His version of demolition workers are people who wear hard-hats and blow things up (he pantomimed for me--like blowing up a balloon), so they have room to build toys for their kids. xD. But, "Demolition workers do NOT go to OPC churches!" The things children come up with
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    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    My son is homeschooled and couldn't find his writing tablet to complete his math. My wife found it and was bringing it to him and said "whatbwoyld ya do without me?" He responded "probably not math, and I'd eat corn dogs"

    Crazy kid...
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Pipp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    My 7 year old niece was leaving with me to go to a wedding , as we were walking out the door she said " ok..
    I've got my pocket book and inside I have 2 snacks and my lipstick, OK let's go! "
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    If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

    A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.
    Roald Dahl, The Twits

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    Senior Member Desdichado's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    Last week.

    Child: "You look like you work for a politician!"

    Me: "Is that an insult or a compliment?"

    Child: "Hug me!"
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    We seek him here, we seek him there,
    Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.

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    Senior Member Demi777's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    Me when i was small..
    Old lady in restaurant: aww your soo sweet

    I turn to my mom: mom this woman has no teeth!
    ..
    I randomly went up to my dad
    Daddyyyyy
    * yes sweetheart
    Daddy....sh** your pants!
    *shocked...gasping...
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    God bless you
    ~*~Demi777 ~*~

    My Testimony:
    http://christianchat.com/testimonies...shortened.html

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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    My niece is a woman now, but when she was a little girl(6 or 7), she went shopping with her grandparents. Her grandmother was an aisle over, getting some cereal, when she noticed her husband coming swiftly up the aisle, muttering,"be quiet, Mandy!" She was running behind him, loudly shouting,"Grampa, you fart,!" Over and over.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    During the pre-worship prelude for our Easter service, when almost everyone had taken their seats, I slid into the pew in front of my pastor's family. They have several children of various ages, and they know me quite well, as I often babysit them. The four-year-old little girl looked over my pink spring Easter dress (my winter wardrobe is much darker, generally), and she giggled and said loudly, "Why are you wearing that?"
    Ok, not really the question I want to answer in front of the whole church! But..."Because it is nice and springish, and I think it is pretty. Do you like it?"
    She shrugged.
    "What did you think I SHOULD be wearing?" I asked her.
    "NOTHING!"
    FACE FRONT!

    She later brought up the subject of my dress again, and I discovered that she had decided she liked it and meant she wanted me to be wearing nothing DIFFERENT...Ah-hem.
    Deade and Didymous like this.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Senior Member EarnestQ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    When a friend of mine was a young boy he was riding on a bus with his mother. (His mother had previously told him that women who were pregnant had eaten watermelon seeds and were growing watermelons in their belly.) He saw a pregnant woman on the bus, walked up to her and said, "I know what you been doin."
    tourist, Demi777, Laish and 2 others like this.
    The best way to help others understand and experience God's love better is to understand and experience it better yourself.

    Understanding and experiencing God's love better everyday is the most important task for anyone who considers him/herself to be a Christian.


    Love without truth is deception. Truth without love is arrogance. God's love and God's truth balanced is God's wisdom.

    The more one promotes himself and/or his ideas, the less he cares about eternal life for others.

  10. #10
    Senior Member EarnestQ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    A Christian comedian tells a story of when he was a child, the preacher was talking about sin. The preacher asked, "What shall we do about sin?"

    He asked it again. He asked yet a third time.

    The little boy answered in the voice of Barney Fife, "Nip it in the bud."

    (The joke works better if you can imagine the inflection Don Knotts would put in to it.)
    Laish and Deade like this.
    The best way to help others understand and experience God's love better is to understand and experience it better yourself.

    Understanding and experiencing God's love better everyday is the most important task for anyone who considers him/herself to be a Christian.


    Love without truth is deception. Truth without love is arrogance. God's love and God's truth balanced is God's wisdom.

    The more one promotes himself and/or his ideas, the less he cares about eternal life for others.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    Quote Originally Posted by EarnestQ View Post
    A Christian comedian tells a story of when he was a child, the preacher was talking about sin. The preacher asked, "What shall we do about sin?"

    He asked it again. He asked yet a third time.

    The little boy answered in the voice of Barney Fife, "Nip it in the bud."

    (The joke works better if you can imagine the inflection Don Knotts would put in to it.)
    I honestly would not have thought that was funny unless you added that. Now I can hear it perfectly XD.
    EarnestQ and Deade like this.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

  12. #12
    Senior Member Laish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    Quote Originally Posted by EarnestQ View Post
    A Christian comedian tells a story of when he was a child, the preacher was talking about sin. The preacher asked, "What shall we do about sin?"

    He asked it again. He asked yet a third time.

    The little boy answered in the voice of Barney Fife, "Nip it in the bud."

    (The joke works better if you can imagine the inflection Don Knotts would put in to it.)

    lol this is classic!
    Blessings
    Bill
    EarnestQ likes this.
    God's Grace is sufficient.

    God wants full custody of your children.
    Not just weekend visits.

    We are entertaining the goats while we should be feeding the sheep.
    Charles Spurgeon

  13. #13
    Senior Member Desdichado's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    Conversing with a black boy.

    Boy: Is your momma white?

    Me: Yes, very.

    Boy: Is your daddy white?

    Me: Whiter than me.

    Boy: How is your daddy whiter than you?

    Me: He isn't part Jewish.

    Boy: What's Jewish?

    Me: Ask your mom.
    We seek him here, we seek him there,
    Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.

  14. #14
    Senior Member EarnestQ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    Quote Originally Posted by Laish View Post

    lol this is classic!
    Blessings
    Bill

    Great! Thanks. ;-)
    The best way to help others understand and experience God's love better is to understand and experience it better yourself.

    Understanding and experiencing God's love better everyday is the most important task for anyone who considers him/herself to be a Christian.


    Love without truth is deception. Truth without love is arrogance. God's love and God's truth balanced is God's wisdom.

    The more one promotes himself and/or his ideas, the less he cares about eternal life for others.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    Since getting a Jersey milk cow five years ago I am fallen to the extent of being quite snobbish about my ice cream, and store bought stuff really doesn't make the cut. Last week, I brought some of my lovely vanilla ice cream to church for the after-service meal. One of the young boys came up to me and asked about it, thus:

    Boy: Did you MAKE the ice cream?
    Me: Yes, I did .
    Boy: Wow! I didn't know. It tasted so good I thought it was storebought!
    Me:...I--am glad you enjoyed it...
    EarnestQ and Laish like this.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    years ago, my 5 yo son at dinner one night was purposely avoiding his vegetables.
    I calmly pointed and said " eat your vegetables ".
    son.. " I can't "
    Me.... " why not "
    son ( with a very intense serious look )" I'm ELECTRIC to vegetables "

  17. #17
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny thing kids say .

    I walked into a public bathroom last week, all the stalls were full, so I stood back and quietly waited. A very young boy was waiting outside the stall for his mother. He regarded me seriously for a few minutes, and then sidled up to one of the doors on the stalls and said "Mom, hurry up. There's a customer." I almost lost it, which I am pretty sure the lady would not have appreciated...
    Laish and loverofjesus27 like this.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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