Searching for the way.

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T

Tribe

Guest
#1
#1
I don't know if you can call me a Christian.

My father was a Baptist minister in the pulpit; but when he stepped out he was the opposite of everything the church stand for... a liar, a cheater, the alcoholic, a racist,and extremely abusive...amongst many other things. And it seems that everyone else in the church were like him or worse; so at a very young age and extremely bitter taste in my mouth as far as religion and "Christians" are concerned.

I believe in God, I believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins, I know all of the Bible stories, all of the laws, rules, and regulations...but there is the part of me that is angry, a part of me that doesn't care. There is the part of me that gets a tremendous amount of enjoyment out of my sinful life.

Many times I have tried to get in line with God's commandments, live according to " His will", but personal issues, my anger, my lust, questions, frustrations, my incapability to "have faith", I have always hindered me.

When I ask "Christians" for advice, they always say the typical things: " pray about it", "ask for forgiveness", " ask Jesus this... ask Jesus that", " open up your heart", "have faith". They tend to forget that not everyone is a Holy Roller, and for those of us who do struggle with faith...getting down on our knees and praying to a God we have resentment towards... is not easy to do. It's not so simple, or so black & white, there are a hundred shades of gray in between. And even if I were to get on my knees and pray... God can still see the darkness in my heart...so praying does not matter, if it is not sincere.

I would like to find someone who I can go into more detail with, someone who could possibly aid me as I attempt it again to make the transition from the person who I am, to the person that God wants me to be. I really want to put my life on the right path.

I ask for a person who is "realistic"; not so buried in the way things " should be", that they are completely blind it to the way things really are. Not someone who cannot handle dark issues.
 
H

hattiebod

Guest
#2
#2
Tribe said:
I don't know if you can call me a Christian.

My father was a Baptist minister in the pulpit; but when he stepped out he was the opposite of everything the church stand for... a liar, a cheater, the alcoholic, a racist,and extremely abusive...amongst many other things. And it seems that everyone else in the church were like him or worse; so at a very young age and extremely bitter taste in my mouth as far as religion and "Christians" are concerned.

I believe in God, I believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins, I know all of the Bible stories, all of the laws, rules, and regulations...but there is the part of me that is angry, a part of me that doesn't care. There is the part of me that gets a tremendous amount of enjoyment out of my sinful life.

Many times I have tried to get in line with God's commandments, live according to " His will", but personal issues, my anger, my lust, questions, frustrations, my incapability to "have faith", I have always hindered me.

When I ask "Christians" for advice, they always say the typical things: " pray about it", "ask for forgiveness", " ask Jesus this... ask Jesus that", " open up your heart", "have faith". They tend to forget that not everyone is a Holy Roller, and for those of us who do struggle with faith...getting down on our knees and praying to a God we have resentment towards... is not easy to do. It's not so simple, or so black & white, there are a hundred shades of gray in between. And even if I were to get on my knees and pray... God can still see the darkness in my heart...so praying does not matter, if it is not sincere.

I would like to find someone who I can go into more detail with, someone who could possibly aid me as I attempt it again to make the transition from the person who I am, to the person that God wants me to be. I really want to put my life on the right path.

I ask for a person who is "realistic"; not so buried in the way things " should be", that they are completely blind it to the way things really are. Not someone who cannot handle dark issues.
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God Bless you as you seek the Lord. I think, as you say at the start of your post that maybe you are not in a repentant relationship with God. When a man is saved. He knows it. God is a God of clarity, not confusion. Just being the son of a pastor, knowing the Word, means nothing if you do not truly place your life in Christs hands. CC is a fun & interesting forum but what you would be best doing is simply reading and putting what you read into action. The Bible is a call to you to,follow the Lord. Read it and get to know God. Spend time in prayer, pick up your cross, get into obedience to the Word. Gods Word needs to be put into action, not just read. Find a good church, find a compassionate male Bible believing friend who will walk with you, pray, study and encourage you in love but also call you to accountability. I pray you will step out, God is right there waiting for you. No one says it's easy! But He is not hard to find :) He answers the prayers of a repentant sinner. God Bless you. Christ is more than able to save you...if you truly want saved. <><
 
H

Hungry

Banned
#3
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#3
Tribe, there are many people on this Site who seem to have pretty down to earth advice. If you are looking for more one on one private council, you are more than welcome to PM me. I'm on here just about every day. I probably won't have all the answers but I'll try not to give you any cliches. I'll pray God matches you up with a compatible mentor.
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#4
#4
You are running away from pat answers to find the answer in your heart. That's where it has to be found. I wish everyone would do that. Feel free to pm me as well.
 
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