I dont need "tough love", I need real help and guidance.

Im a husband, father, and youth leader at my church, but I have a HORRIBLE addiction to pornography and masturbation. Ive tried SO MANY times to quit, but I always end up going back to it. Now again, i dont need "tough love", dont tell me what I already know, tell me how to get out of this.

Besides much needed prayer to overcome this, you must yearn to overcome this. There are many Christian site blockers you can subscribe to which have blockers as well as guilt reports via E-mail, sending your internet history to a trusted person.
Addictions can be hard to overcome and you may fall, but look to God and he will lift you up. God bless you.
i'll be praying for you!

You need to stop trying to handle things yourself. You need accountability. Filters on anything you have internet access to. Possibly even addiction counseling. Porn Addiction Recovery: Essential Tips for Awareness, Prevention and Recovery has resources available to help as well. Trying to hold everything in and thinking you can do it without help, without accountability and keep it 'behind the scenes' means continued failure. Porn addiction is an addiction like drugs or alcohol. It has some variations, but essentially you need similar methods of treatment.

Accountability sounds wonderful, but the problem is that I dont trust anyone around to help me through this. Staying anonymous is my best way to go, and Im now hoping that someone here can hold me accountable.

Nope. Not really. Because the software you need requires (if its any good) password protections. And obviously you can't password protect your own things. Your best accountability is your wife. Though it sounds as though rather than seeking the support of your closest friend, you are hiding things from her. Which i can understand. But it's not really the wisest course of action if you truly seek to get past this.
The catch is, sadly, many women are not equipped to handle these things. They don't listen. They respond emotionally and close of their minds. So it puts you in a tricky spot. This is the biggest difficulty of porn addiction. Its easier to admit drug or alcohol problems than it is porn. So people who want and need help don't get it because of the reactions of others.

Yeah thats the position Im in now. This is an embarassing addiction too, Im not a bad person, I just have this annoying tag-a-long thats been a part of my life for over a decade now. I cant open up to anyone around me. And my wife being who she is, she wouldnt look at me the same ever again.

Only you and your faith in God can help you with that problem. You should think about God before you even start doing it and I'm sure if you fight it and with your faith in God, you win.

Ok, let's review.................you say:


[don't tell me what I already know, tell me how to get out of this.]

[Staying anonymous is my best way to go, and I'm now hoping that someone here can hold me accountable.]

[I'm not a bad person, I just have this annoying tag-a-long that's been a part of my life for over a decade now]


OK, START WITH THESE...........

Read the science of Nofap

NoFap: Partake in the ultimate challenge

It means that abstaining from porn and jerking off, actually improves your sexual experience with the wife.

In short by abstaining from those other things, you get a sexual boost when you have real sex.